Johan, in consultation with Marieke, had ordered a bunch of different pizzas, and also invited Eric Schouten. At first, Marieke had had some trouble with that, but when he pointed out, that Jeroen and Eric worked closely together and it was important for the work that they got to know them, not only in work terms, but also privately, she had suddenly sensed that this was a soul matter.

"Definitely for empowerment, huh?" she had asked.

"Exactly darling, and if you get too tired, feel free to withdraw. If necessary, I'll bring you some pizza in bed or send Ellen over with it."

"Is Ellen staying for dinner too?"

"I hope so, I'll send her another message."

"No need, she's sitting here next to me."

Johan heard giggling in the background. "Nice girls you are! So, is she staying for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah sure, if need be we'll hole up together in the bedroom, no problem!"

.

Jeroen came to court with Eric to pick up Marianne. Johan had left for home moments before. Eric picked up Marianne with a slightly tilted head and a broad smile.

"So, so you are the one who makes my best colleague so happy. Conversely, I can tell you, from my own experience, that you are lucky. He rocks, he is a really great guy!"

Marianne laughed. "I suspected as much. Thanks for your confirmation!" and turning around to Jeroen: "Hey darling, I missed you man, I could hardly keep my mind on my work!"

"I had the same phenomenon, but it didn't bother me. Not even while packing, my hands just kept going, stuffing everything into those boxes and taking it with me. At home I'll see again, I thought. And I did. At home I discovered that I had made a mess of things in those boxes... So I did suffer from the effects of all those thoughts afterwards, but the thoughts themselves didn't feel like a burden. It was more like a happy melody in love going through my head."

Marianne smilingly wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him briefly.

"Hey hey, we have an audience!" warned Jeroen jokingly.

"I know, but that audience thinks I'm lucky and I'm just confirming him in his idea that I make you happy..."

Laughing, they got into the car and drove in a cheerful mood to the address they were invited to. Johan already saw them arriving and opened the door for them.

"Welcome everyone! Hey, you must be Eric! I'm Johan, come on in! There's my wife Marieke with our sweet little Vlinder. And this young lady is Ellen, my faithful lawyer and our wonderful friend! And ladies, this is Eric Schouten, and this guy is Jeroen Terlouw, who lifted our Marianne all the way up to the seventh heaven."

Marianne laughed: "That is indeed how I feel." She hugged Ellen, gave Marieke a kiss on her hair and marvelled at Vlinder who just kept drinking through all the fuss. "Wonderful," she said smiling to Marieke.

Jeroen put his arm around Marianne and looked at Vlinder with her, after greeting Marieke.

"How beautiful..." he whispered. "Don't you mind me as a man watching?" he asked Marieke.

Marieke smiled at Jeroen and shook her head. "No way, this is something so normal, something so natural, it's just beautiful anyway."

Eric had gone over to Ellen, introduced himself a little more personally and asked her about her work. He felt a special attraction, which reminded him of the way Jeroen had told him about Marianne. He noticed that he could stay in conversation with her without hesitation and without tension, whereas he was actually used to the fact that he liked to hide behind his cameras.

Ellen too had sensed, as soon as he walked in, that something was happening inside her that she had never felt like this all the years she had been with Alexander. 'Oh oh, the foggy haze has really lifted,' she had thought. It surprised her, too, that she could face him without hesitation and talk to him about the women she and Johan were fighting for. She asked him about his work, about how he did it and how he experienced it, whether he got reactions. And she enjoyed his voice, the calm that emanated from him. She also experienced him as a powerful personality. Yes, powerful and calm at the same time.

Johan asked something of Eric, to which Eric apologised to Marieke because he had not yet even greeted her, nor admired the little Vlinder. 

"That's no problem anyway," Marieke responded smiling. "You were talking for a while. That's how things go, right? Leave the official out of this house, please!"

"That's how it is," agreed Johan, "with two butterflies in the house, you can't have official business with it!"

"Two butterflies?" asked Eric in surprise.

"Yes, the little one is called Vlinder, the Dutch name of a butterfly, and Marieke is a butterfly, such a lovely free flutterer," said Johan, throwing her a kissing hand.

"Johan, then you are lucky, having two such women in the house," Eric responded sincerely, as Johan stealthily led him outside for a moment.

"I certainly do, Eric, I'm super lucky. And that's what I wish for everyone, a partner like that, someone with whom you have such a deep connection, that together you seem like one person."

Eric nodded and smiled. "That's exactly why I made a conscious decision never to go after girls. I knew there would be someone somewhere with whom I would have such a connection. I didn't search, I always knew that if I just followed my inner voice, I would come across her."

"And... have you met her yet?" asked Johan.

Eric looked at him, tilting his head: "Have you noticed anything? Have you seen it, felt it?"

"I knew why I had to invite you too. On the one hand, because it is important for your and our work, mutual strengthening, soul empowerment. On the other hand, I felt I had to bring you here also for that soulmate reason."

Eric nodded: "Ellen huh?"

Johan gave him a wink. "You felt it?"

"If I hadn't felt it, I probably would have been made of stone or steel. My first inclination was to hug her and press her very close to me and whisper to her, "Finally, and now I'll never let you go!" You know Johan, I'm not good with talking, I always hid behind my cameras, but the connection with her, that intense click, broke something loose. I could talk to her and listen to her, and it was wonderful, amazing to hear her voice. And I can talk to you now too, about such intimate things like this, having only just met you for the first time. That is so completely different from what I am used to from myself."

A broad smile came across John's face. "Then it's all right, Eric, it's just right. I really hope you make her very happy!"

"Then I will have to win her heart first..." muttered Eric.

"You've already done that. I noticed that Ellen was different towards you than I am used to from her. During our work, she is also open and free and very fiery. But privately, she always seemed to keep a certain distance. That has already changed towards us, but towards you, a total stranger... no, I didn't expect her to be able to really engage with you like that. It seems she felt you too, the connection with you. And other than that... oh well, just go after your heart, it will be fine!"

.

They went back inside when they heard the bell of the front door. The pizzas were being delivered. On the dining table, Johan opened the boxes and tore off the lids. With a bread knife, he cut each pizza into eight pieces and invited everyone to grab a plate and serve themselves. The conversations were informal, it was just a downright convivial being together.

Towards the end of the meal, Jeroen briefly called for attention in relation to the interview he was to conduct with Johan and Marianne. "We had already more or less agreed that we would come to your office tomorrow around eight-thirty for the interview. But now I'm thinking, seeing you guys sitting together so cosily... would it be an idea to record the interview here? Or is that a bit too cosy, too informal?"

"Just sitting on the sofa like that has something Jeroen," Eric thought, "just that informal, that conviviality suits these people. So if it's not a problem for Johan and Marieke..."

"Not for me, what do you think Marieke?" asked Johan.

"I'll entrench myself upstairs, a morning of extra rest won't hurt after this super fun time together. Ellen, are you coming tomorrow too, to keep me company?"

Jeroen didn't give her a chance to answer, "I would actually like Ellen to join the interview, if you like, Ellen. After all, these court cases are not just about Johan, or just Johan and Marianne?"

"Oops, I didn't see that one coming," Ellen responded, "but I don't think it's a problem, at least... not for myself, but you then Marieke, you'll be upstairs alone all this time..."

"Me and my paper... I will enjoy myself!" replied Marieke. "You do what you have to do. I think it's a top idea of Jeroen's."

"And you, Eric, can you manage to be here at eight-thirty?" asked Jeroen.

"Oh yes with ease. I need a few minutes to install the cameras and get them ready for use, then we can start a little after eight-thirty."

Jeroen smiled. "Shall we arrange it that way then?"

Everyone nodded. No one seemed to notice that Ellen had all sorts of thoughts running through her head. She had enjoyed talking to Eric, even hearing his voice when he was talking to others. He had something... but what? Was this really that soulmate thing?

She felt excited that he would film them during the interview tomorrow. That had shocked her for a moment. He might be watching her from behind a camera... Normally, that never bothered her. She had experienced it so many times after court cases when journalists and photographers approached them. It was just part of her job, and so should this be, but it felt completely different.

The other side was, she would be around him again tomorrow. 'I look like an adolescent in love,' she scolded herself in her mind. 'But I'm not in love at all, am I?' She decided to focus on the people around her, so that would give her some distraction.

.

At night in bed, where there were no more distractions, the whirlwind of thoughts began again. As she was used to as a lawyer, she also handled this case with great deliberation. She highlighted all sides of the case, asking herself questions, looking for answers, calling into her mind the image of Eric, how he spoke and what he looked like when he was listening, really listening. After at least an hour of debate with herself, she drew her conclusion: 'Guilty! Both of them!

She laughed, suddenly intensely happy that she had found her soulmate. Immediately afterwards, she seriously wondered if he had felt the same way, or if he would vanish from her life again after the interview. The very idea almost made her despair. This man... she would not be able to miss him, not be able to move on without him.

The fiery desire that seemed to spread throughout her body at lightning speed surprised, amazed her. She groaned and said aloud, "Oh Eric, if only you were here, here with me. I long for you so much..."

She curled up like a foetus and finally fell into a peaceful, deep sleep.

.

Even in Marianne and Jeroen's bedroom, sleep could not come right away. As they lay in a tender embrace, Jeroen started talking: "What a beautiful sight that was, Vlinder with Marieke. I experienced that as so intense, and it evoked a longing in me. Imagine, Marianne, a child of ours, drinking with you like that... Do you long for children, for motherhood?"

Marianne sighed deeply. "I have always pushed it away from me. Even when I sat on the edge of their bed with Marieke after Vlinder's birth, I could push it off with ease. But now that we had found each other, and I saw her sitting like that with little Vlinder... I could no longer ignore it, the longing that is indeed there. But..."

"But?" asked Jeroen when she remained silent. "Just tell what keeps you busy, what's getting in the way, what's going through your mind."

"I feel, for now, it can't be done. Our work, Jeroen, our work is not just our work. I... I feel that we should wait to have children until the world has been restored a lot further. That we should keep our focus entirely on our work, on seeking truth and justice. That for now, that is the most important thing, the purpose of our existence, even the purpose of our relationship. Bah, how crazy that sounds, almost corporate!"

Frustrated, she pressed a fist against his back. "I don't mean it business-like, but it's a strong feeling, a strong impression. I find it grim, but know deep down that it's right."

Jeroen pulled her close to him. "I'm glad you're telling me. I fully support you, I had the same impression, but didn't want to overwhelm you with it. I wanted you to be able to speak your heart out before sharing my impression. And my impression is, that your impression is correct. We have to move on, but with one difference, no longer separate, but together. It is precisely our togetherness, our connection, our living together, our love, everything related, that makes us stronger in our work, stronger in what we may bring from within. We are still quite young, Marianne, and we will know, also deep inside, when the time is right to do have children. But first further healing of this world. Much is already happening, for the better, but we are not there yet. We struggle on, each in our own area, but also together! Is that true this way for you?"

Marianne nodded, with tears in her eyes.

"Does it make you sad?" asked Jeroen, gently stroking away the tears that escaped from her eyes.

"No, strangely not, actually just happy. Yes, I feel full of happiness because together we are going to do what is in our hearts, what our souls lead us to. And children, yes of course I long for children, but that will come later, and that's good!"

She snuggled against Jeroen, and fell asleep not much later.

.

The next morning, Ellen drove to her dear friends' house a little earlier than planned. She had no rational explanation for it, she just had a desire to be there because she knew Eric would be there too.

She parked her car a little further down the street, to give herself some time to put her feelings to rest while she remained seated for a while and then would walk to the house. The moment she opened the door of her car, however, she was startled. Erik was standing next to her car.

"Good morning Ellen, you are also nicely early. What were you doing a while ago? Meditating?" he asked cheerfully.

"No, I needed to unwind, I was feeling rather worked up," she confessed, glancing up diagonally to look at him. Promptly, her heart raced like crazy and she started breathing deeper and faster unnoticed.

"Tense for the interview?" he asked further.

"Yes, something like that..." she responded vaguely.

She stood up, expecting Eric to step back to give her some space, but he remained standing and looked at her very closely. He said nothing, just looked. Very slowly, he brought his hand to her hair, let his fingers play in it a little, and whispered, "You... all these years I've been waiting... waiting for you! I felt it yesterday, and I could hardly sleep last night, inside I could only cheer because I had finally found my soulmate, just bumped into her in the house of some unknown people..."

A happy smile appeared on Ellen's face, a smile that made her whole face glow. "So you felt it too yesterday?" she asked in a whisper.

He nodded, "And so did you... oh my, this is so overwhelming. Was that what made you feel so worked up?"

Ellen nodded, chuckling, "Yes, I hardly care about that interview, actually. No, not as I say it now, I mean... I'm not really uptight about that. I was just wondering last night how I would feel about you peering at me through that camera."

Eric laughed: "I dreamt about that last night, really such a crazy dream, that I would kiss and caress you through the camera. Well, to be honest... I'd rather do that without a camera!"

He put his hands on the back of her head, and as he kept looking at her, he moved closer and gave her a caressingly light kiss. Then he distanced himself a little more again.

"More later," he whispered, "otherwise we will arrive at Johan and Marieke's place completely ecstatic. Shall we go to them?"

Ellen nodded, beaming.

.

Jeroen opened the door on behalf of the man of the house. He beamed when he saw his colleague and friend standing at the door together with his newly found soulmate. He sensed with perfect precision what was going on between them, and that it was good.

"Come in, dear guys. Johan is still busy with the coffee. Are you all right?" he asked carelessly.

"More than fine, dude, and I think you've got that shit right," Eric did indignantly, after which a happy smile appeared on his face.

"I had indeed, but I wanted to make sure! I'm happy for you guys, really happy. It feels so wonderfully complete, together with your soulmate... How special that we are experiencing that almost simultaneously now, Eric. And you, Ellen, welcome to our little circle! It does feel very special, you and Marianne, both friends of Johan and Marieke... and now us, as partners in our work, together with you... sorry, I hardly know how to explain it, but it feels like the six of us are going to put a powerful bomb under all the lies and injustice!"

"Yeah..." said Eric thoughtfully, "I hadn't thought of it like that, but I think you're right. It doesn't seem a coincidence that precisely you with Marianne and I with Ellen are experiencing that soul connection. Gosh... bundling of soul power!"

.

The interview went extremely smoothly. The atmosphere was wonderfully good, relaxed and cheerful. There were serious and joking responses, there were questions answered with answers and also counter-questions. It felt more like a pleasant get-together than an interview, while all the questions that were there got obvious answers, Jeroen even got more information than he had had in mind.

In consultation with Jeroen, Eric took some hours off that day so he could hang out with Ellen. Tonight he would review the recordings and make them into a nice whole. He had, as he often did, worked with several cameras, three this time, all on a sturdy tripod. That meant he would have to run three shots side by side tonight, and cut and paste from three shots. It would be quite a job, but if nothing crazy happened, he would be able to send the final recording to Jeroen before midnight.

As they drove away, he looked in his rear-view mirror, saw Ellen in her own car behind him. They had agreed that they would take her car to her house first, and then drive on in his car to his house.

At Ellen's house, Eric also got out, walked up to her. "So this is where you live... Shall we go inside for a moment? I'm just curious... just to get a feel for the atmosphere. Is that OK with you?"

"Of course, come on in," Ellen replied, immediately unlocking and opening the front door. "Welcome to my domain!"

"Your domain... funny," Eric chuckled. He immediately noticed that he didn't really feel at home in this house, but didn't want to say so. If they ever decided to live here, he would like to change some of the furnishings... As a result, he didn't comment much more than about the lovely space, the large garden.

"Shall we move on? To your house?" asked Ellen, who noticed within herself that she was struggling to bring Eric into the house she herself had lived in with Alexander for so many years. As if it didn't fit, was a kind of betrayal to Eric. And she actually also felt that Eric did not feel comfortable in her house.

Eric nodded and smiled at her. "Let's do that!"

Less than ten minutes later, they were driving through the countryside between two villages.

"Which village do you actually live in?" asked Ellen.

"In the same as you, only outside the built-up area."

He slowed down quietly and made a right turn. Ellen looked directly at a beautiful house, detached with a garden full of plants, a fountain, a few stone statues around it. Eric parked the car in the driveway, so he would be able to drive backwards easily tonight when he took Ellen home. He got out, saw that Ellen got out too, but remained in the doorway of the car and looked around, seeming to take in the surroundings. If this meant what he hoped it meant... he wouldn't have to change anything about the interior of her house.

Ellen said nothing, Eric asked nothing. He went ahead of her to the front door, let her go inside and watched her as she walked slowly on. Inside too, she took everything in. She walked through the living room as if it were a museum, walked on to the large kitchen where the dining area stood. She turned around, with tears in her eyes. She held out her hands to him, which he grasped eagerly, and heard her whisper, "Home... this is home..."

He pulled her against him, stroked her hair, her back and kissed her forehead.

"Welcome home, darling, welcome home. I'm very glad you feel that way!"

"I don't just feel at home here, I feel this is my home. It seems the same, but it feels much deeper to me. My house wasn't a home for you was it?" she asked with a smile.

He shook his head: "No, honestly not at all, so I am incredibly grateful that this house does feel like that for you."

"I can totally see moving in with you. I don't know when..."

She fell silent as she experienced a very strong 'now'. In terms of time, it was convenient, she still had a week and a half to prepare for the next court case.

Uncertainly, she looked at Eric.

"Say it, say what you're thinking. Something is haunting your mind..." Eric urged her.

"Yes, that's right, about the moment to move in with you... I experienced a very strong 'now', but..."

Eric put his hands behind her head. "Welcome home again," he whispered. "Start packing tomorrow, and let me know what you need. I won't be very busy for the next few days, today getting that recording from this morning ready for the website. Then tomorrow I can start cleaning up my mess to make room for you. It's not so bad, only in my wardrobe I always do things rather easily. I dump the clean stuff in there, well, there's plenty of room, it doesn't matter. I'm going to change that tomorrow. Lay things out properly for the first time in this house, then we'll even have space left over together!"

Ellen chuckled. "I don't have too many clothes. And about all the other stuff, like the kitchen stuff..."

"If you bring everything here, we'll just see here what we keep and what we sell or take to a thrift shop. And the move itself, I can help you with that with ease. When you're ready, we'll hire a small moving van, lug everything in and bring it here. I'll come and help you tomorrow anyway, see what's needed. Do you have any moving boxes?"

"Yes, about ten of them."

"Shall I get a stack more tomorrow?"

"Yes, that might be useful anyway. The sooner the stuff gets here, the better. Then we can sort things out further here. Another thing, the house... We need to find an estate agent who can take photos very soon, to put the house up for sale. I do know one I'd like to ask for that, but he doesn't live here. I don't know if he would want to do that, so outside his region. Shall I give him a call?"

Eric nodded. Ellen called Karel, put her question to him and was surprised with an enthusiastic affirmative answer.

"He'll do it! He asked me if he can come by the day after tomorrow around three o'clock. If I make sure the house looks picobello then..."

"That will work out. Because we're packing a lot of things, the focus in the photos is already less on the stuff and more on the house. We just make sure certain things stay put, so that looks nice in the photos."

"I think... of the furniture I have there, I don't really want to take anything with me, or almost nothing. What you have here, that suits me much better. Those natural colours, wood, rattan, or whatever it is..." Ellen made a move, wrapping her arms around herself, allowing Eric to see how intensely she was enjoying herself, really feeling at home. "A whole new beginning, Eric..."

.

After lunch, Ellen indicated that she would actually enjoy going through the recordings of the interview together, and seeing how he arranged that cutting and pasting.

"Do you really want to? I actually like that a lot, I like showing my work to you. I've never shared it with anyone before, I realise now," Eric said.

He preceded her to his workroom, where she saw a pair of monitors hanging against the wall.

"I felt when I bought it that having four monitors was excessive, but I have found that it works super easily when I have used more cameras. I use one monitor for each camera, and what I cut and paste I send to the fourth monitor, so that's where you get the final whole."

Eric grabbed a chair and put it next to his, and set to work with Ellen watching beside him. He involved Ellen so often that at some point she started thinking along on her own, offering ideas or indicating to him that perhaps things could be done better differently.

Even when the whole process was over, Ellen still found it difficult to understand exactly how he had done it, but she had absolutely enjoyed the process, the collaboration, seeing and hearing the complete interview again. At the end, they looked through the final product one more time and were both deeply satisfied.

"Dear Ellen, I have never done this with anyone before. I loved doing this with you. Your additions and improvements... you know, it felt so naturally, so obviously. Like we'd been doing this together for years."

Ellen laughed: "Honestly, I enjoyed it too. It was cool to be involved in this. If I have the time for it, I would like to do it more often..."

"Looks like fun! But now I feel like eating! Shall we see what I still have in store? Are you hungry by the way?"

"You bet, not so strange too, it's already six-thirty!"

"Then we should do something especially easy. Come along, missy!"

He pulled her along to the pantry, where he had a five-drawer freezer. "How about a ready-made meal?"

"Seems genius for the moment! What have you got?"

"Pizzas, different kinds, and complete meals with vegetables, pieces of meat and cubes of potato."

Eric pulled open a drawer of the freezer and took out one such meal.

"Would you like to try these?"

"Go ahead!" nodded Ellen.

Eric took out a second box from the freezer and walked to the kitchen with it. He grabbed a wok and a couple of ladles, turned on the cooker to a low setting and started opening the boxes.

"There are cubes of herb butter in it. As a result, we don't need to add anything more."

While he was working on it, he told how he was brought up with the motto that everything had to be fresh.

"I discovered that this is fresher than the vegetables you buy in the supermarket or at the greengrocer's. Besides, it's super easy, the price is generally not too bad and I like the taste too. And I keep time for things I find important or fun."

Ellen laughed. "Recognisable story! My ex-husband and I both worked varying hours. As a result, this way of cooking was also ideal. I did sometimes prepare a few meals fresh, just to have something different to eat, but then I would cook so much that I could easily freeze a bunch of portions of it."

"Your working hours obviously depend on when the court cases are scheduled, the court cases where you have to defend someone. And the preparations, how do you do that?"

"Partly at home, and for the rest I hold interviews with the person I have to defend. I usually do that in neutral territory, often in a restaurant. I have discovered two restaurants where I can meet in a quiet corner. The owners know what I'm doing, and understand that I can't have crowds around me."

"And your partner from back then?"

"Alex, Alexander in full, is an auctioneer, and therefore depends on the opportunities he comes across. He can be very busy, a couple of auctions in the same week. And he can have periods of relative calm. You can't gauge that."

"Did that make it difficult to maintain that relationship?" asked Eric interestedly, looking at her.

Ellen shook her head, reflecting, "No, it actually went quite well in the beginning. We accepted the craziness, the busyness, and were nice together during the quiet periods. How should I explain that... You know, for then it was just fine. It was the way it was, and it seemed perfect. A year ago, Alex spent a few weeks helping set up The Shelter, a refuge, actually four cottages, for women who have been abused. I still come there sometimes, when I get to defend another woman who needs a safe living environment. Anyway, during that period when he helped there, he went through quite a process of inner healing. And as a result, he got closer to who he really was... and I turned out not to fit in with that. I don't mean that he alienated me. He also struggled with the differences that arose and did everything he could to reach out to me. His focus seemed to be more on me than on himself. Later, I went through a short but intense stretch of healing myself, but that mostly affected my work, defending, and especially being able to feel what the victim was feeling. Of course, that also makes a difference to my defending... But as for Alex, it just didn't really click anymore, and that frustrated on all sides! Then a few weeks ago, we went on holiday at the guesthouse on the same estate where The Shelter is. That's a very powerful environment, there's a lot happening there in terms of breaking free from things people are stuck in, emotional healing and so on. And already on the first day there was also a young woman there, she was alone... Eric, the shock that that woman and Alex experienced, that I also felt and saw there, like a flash of lightning between them. I talked to one of the guests about it, a man I already knew, a fatherly figure who really listened to my story. And then I decided that I needed to let go of Alex, that what had been between us had been nothing more than attraction based on our woundedness. I packed my things, went home, went through a lot of emotional shit there and then knew for myself really sure that divorce was the only and therefore best solution for us. That was a relief for him, and ultimately for me too. And now, just a month later, we have found each other."

"What timing... I'm glad you were already apart when we met. As you experienced last month when he met his soulmate, that seems like a miserable situation!"

"Yes, it was, but it did force me to go through a lot of the pain very consciously in a few days. I don't think I've lost everything yet, but most of it. I'm more myself than ever before!"

Eric smiled, stirred the meal in the wok once more and divided the food between two plates.

As they ate, he continued, "Did you never get children?"

"No, frankly I quite hated that sexual antics. Of course I did allow him sometimes, it was part of it. And I realise now that I kept him quite at arm's length with that, but I couldn't do anything else either. I only recently remembered that I wasn't able to let anyone get close anyway. Relationships... those were actually quite scary things." She pulled a goofy face for a moment. "Not having had a nice childhood and all that. My parents' relationship was also based on woundedness. I never really felt loved and safe. And because of that I didn't dare to have children either, whereas now I notice, now with you and now talking about it, that I would actually really long for children in the future."

She returned briefly to her problems with relationships, with letting people get close. She recounted Jacqueline's words, about a foggy haze around her soul, and how it had disappeared.

"That woman told me that now that that foggy haze had gone away, I would be able to follow my inner self better, not only at work, but especially in relationships. And if I ever would meet my soulmate... I would know for sure, that it was him, and I would feel free to hang out with him. You know, when I saw you at Johan and Marieke's, I knew immediately, even before you had said a word. I knew it, felt it, and I've never spoken so freely with someone I didn't know, outside my work sphere, as I did with you."

"Wow, that Jacqueline must be a very powerful woman!"

"She certainly is! Johan and Marieke were there too, and Marianne. And we were all 'under treatment' with her within an hour, and received a huge piece of healing. Karel, that real estate agent, is her son. He is also someone who is overwhelmingly guided by his inner voice. He discovered his soulmate last month, a woman with a little son. I am told he has both of them locked in his heart."

"And now, would you like children now, then? In the future? How do you see that, how do you feel?" asked Eric.

Ellen responded, shoving her empty plate away from her: "Well, while talking, that just came up... I suddenly noticed, that I do have a desire to have children, but what is even stronger, is that I feel something else has to happen before then. And that has to do with our work. Your search for truth, my fight for justice for abused women... The urge I experience to 'finish' that first, to keep going until it's enough, until our inner self says it's enough... yes something like that, do you understand how I mean it?"

"Oh yeah, it's exactly how I experience it myself. So if I can just sum it up... Over the next few years, we're going to stay committed to what we're already doing, and we're going to enjoy each other. And count on the fact that our work is going to benefit from the latter! Stronger together, Ellen, in our relationship and in our work!"

"That's it, that's exactly how I feel too..."

Ellen sighed deeply, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Moving forward together, strong together..."

To chapter 95. How to go on at the police

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