Lisa and Margreet got into the car for their appointment at the police station. They were kindly received there and taken directly to the room of the officer who would hear their story.

"Martin Verkamman," he introduced himself, shaking their hands.

"My name is Margreet in 't Veld, and hers is Lisa...darn it, I don't even know your last name!"

Lisa chuckled, "While I'm still married my name is Lisa de Jong, but after the divorce I'll get my maiden name back and be called Lisa Martens again."

"And how could it be that you, Margreet, didn't know Lisa's last name? I mean, you guys look like you're friends..." Martin wondered.

"Yes, we have become that too, just recently. I've been working at guesthouse Bloemenhof for a few weeks now, and Lisa came there at about the same time with her husband as guests. My colleagues and I sensed immediately that their relationship was not good, but on the day of departure, last Saturday, her husband only really showed what kind of person he was. That prompted Lisa to stay with us, and to start divorce proceedings soon.”

Martin nodded, "And what happened on Saturday, that's what you came for?"

"Yes," Lisa said, "Henk, my husband, tried to rape Margreet."

Martin looked at Margreet: "Can you describe to me what happened?"

He already had a notepad and pen in front of him, on which he had just written down their names and was now describing in brief terms what Margreet was telling. At the end of the story he looked at her: "Margreet, just an annoying question, but can you describe what you were wearing that morning?"

Margreet took off her coat: "This is what I was wearing."

Martin let his eyes slide fleetingly from top to bottom. "Okay, and you were humming, didn't realize he was coming in...so you didn't provoke anything either. Don't get me wrong, Margreet. I don't think a man should ever force a woman into sexual contact, but bold clothing or a certain attitude can push a man over the edge to do something he shouldn't. Do you understand how I mean it?"

"Yes, I do understand you, but just to be clear, I want to emphasize that a man really should never do something like that, even though I was standing there naked cleaning the bathtub."

"I completely agree with you, but even a man is a human being and could therefore be drawn across that line by behavior or clothing."

"Then may I add my story, sir?" asked Lisa. She didn't wait for an answer, but the anger that had been brought to the surface by his remarks urged her to be very clear for a moment. "From the time I have known Henk, he has always approached me in the same way: coercively, dominatingly. I have been a sex slave to him for those years of our marriage. I never realized that, because my father displayed the same behavior toward my mother and so I didn't know any better. When I heard Margreets story, I felt that what I had always experienced with Henk was abnormal, humiliating, devastating. I got to know Margreet and her boyfriend Huib, got to know them a little better, and I'm sure Huib would never do such a thing to Margreet. And Margreet, if I'm talking nonsense, you should say so. But I think, if I would go to Huib naked, he'd turn around, or drape a plaid over me or something, but he would not touch me. There are men who call themselves men, but who are used to behaving like animals and dominating towards a woman, and there are men like Huib who are really men who love their wife, are there for her, men who are one with their wife, really one. Do you feel the difference, sir?"

Martin sat looking at her in amazement. "Wow girl, you have discovered something very special in a short time. And because you describe it so clearly, I feel the difference very well. You're making me think darn well, about myself, how I deal with my wife. It is unusual to share private matters while working, but I want to be honest with you. I'm not like Henk, but I'm not like Huib either. I am somewhere in between, I think. I love my wife, Elly, she is my dearest possession. And just there lies my problem, I experience her as my possession... with that I actually make her my subordinate. Just as there are ranks at the police station, so she is one rank below me. That doesn't feel right. I want to think about that."

He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Let's get back to your story. Do you want to file a report or an indictment?"

Margreet, for herself, was thinking mostly of a report, but Lisa wanted to know a little more about it, "I want to divorce Henk, is a report enough?"

"Of course you can divorce him even without a report, but to make the process easier for you, after all you have a clear reason, a report is useful. An indictment is not useful for the divorce proceedings. In fact, if it stirs up his anger, it will only create more problems for you in the divorce. Don't get me wrong. I am not concerned with letting him get off with ease. I'm just thinking about you right now, what you seem to need. Do you understand the different effects that a report and an indictment can have on him and to what extent it then works against you or helps you?"

Lisa nodded, "Yes, that's clear. I think I'll stick with a report too, both about what happened in my marriage and about the trigger for the divorce, what he did to Margreet. What do you think Margreet, does that seem best to you too?"

Margreet nodded, "Yes, I think so. I saw him when you had left for your house to get your things. When Henk came to say goodbye to us, he was just down, there was nothing of anger. But I can imagine that an indictment can raise anger. And if a report can help you with the divorce, I would do that. If you want him to be punished, then of course you should go for an indictment, but otherwise not."

"No, an indictment is not necessary, I don't need to punish him, because despite his terrible behavior towards me, he was crazy about me in his own way, so I think it's more than enough punishment for him, that he lost me."

As Lisa said it, she thought about what else had happened in her marriage. Horrible things that she had never talked about to anyone. She realized that Henk did need to be punished, but she couldn't handle it yet, telling about the misery of the past few years at this moment.

Martin followed the young women's deliberations and drew his conclusion, "So if I understand correctly... a report for both of you, for you, Margreet, about what happened in the bathroom, and for you, Lisa, about how you were treated in your marriage, and also what he did to Margreet... which for you was the well-known straw that broke the camel's back."

"Indeed, that event with Margreet opened my eyes to what had been happening to me for so long. I suddenly saw that it was abuse, abuse within my marriage."

"I understand completely. I want to arrange it with you like this: I will work out my notes from this conversation, prepare both reports, and email them to you so you can read them in peace. If you agree with how I've described your report, then send me back that email with an agreement or come by here to sign it. And then as far as I'm concerned it's all set, then you can start your divorce proceedings Lisa, and I wish you a lot of strength with that in advance. It's usually quite painful."

"I can imagine," Lisa replied, "but I think for me it's mostly a relief."

Martin held out his hand to her, "You're a brave woman, I admire you and I'm really glad you two found each other as friends."

To chapter 67. Experiences at the thrift store

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