Annerieke was glad that she had already prepared most of the evening meal, so that she could pay some attention to all the new guests. It was special how every couple immediately told her in general why they wanted to spend some time in between for a while.

Like Samuel and Rebecca. They needed a break. They had lost their daughter and son-in-law in a car accident and had gone through a few difficult weeks of denial and deep depression. Getting to the point where they didn't know how to proceed, they had decided last week to book a week at the guest house. Fortunately, there had been a room available for them this week. Annerieke had told them that she could empathize with them because she herself had lost her husband in a car accident. Samuel and Rebecca almost begged her to talk to her about it in the coming week. Maybe she could help them with tips? Annerieke decided not to wait unnecessarily: "Tomorrow morning? Would you guys like that?"

They looked at each other and nodded eagerly, "Gladly, very gladly!"

Annerieke agreed with them that they could come and have coffee in the kitchen of the guesthouse the next morning and then go with her to her house. "That's so cozy, and then I don't have to explain in which of the three houses that are further down there you can find me."

When they asked if those other houses belonged to staff members as well, Annerieke told them that they did, but that in different ways they were all family to her as well. Samuel and Rebecca thought this was very special, they had never experienced anything like it before.

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A short time later Theo and Renate arrived. They were a young couple in their twenties. When Annerieke showed them where they could find folders for trips, they told her they were not planning to make a lot of trips.

They shared the reason for coming: "We were both raised Christian, but had questions over the years that had no answers. We didn't understand any of it, actually felt a desire inside to quit that faith, and decided to take some time here for a few weeks to try out in peace and quiet what it's like to throw the Bible and faith aside. Not carelessly, it's all too deep, but ... by the way, don't I offend you?" Theo interrupted himself. "I mean, if you're a Christian yourself, it might be very painful to hear this."

Annerieke smiled at his honesty, "No way, I've never been a Christian, I know some stories from the Bible, but I didn't really grow up with it. I am very curious how you are going to experience these weeks. Here at home, in our guesthouse family as I always call those who work here and belong at home, we try to listen to our inner self. Our soul knows very well what our personal truth is. An absolute truth, which applies to everyone, as in religions, I can't do much with that. That feels more like a pattern you're stuck in."

"A matrix," Renate added. "We saw a movie a while ago, it's called like that, The Matrix, and it opened our eyes a little further. We both felt that our faith worked like a matrix, we felt trapped in it. No matter which way you want to go, that man with the glasses, the enemy in that movie, he comes after you again and again to lock you in and destroy you. That's what I feel in the church, in the church we grew up in, and also in both the churches we were in for a longer time to continue searching. It seems to be the same everywhere in a different way. I mean: every church is different, but grabs you in its nets. That's how we experienced it. And as we talk about it, I find that my desire to break free from it only grows stronger! I even get a desire to move on not only without the church, but also without the Bible, without Jesus or whatever. What you said, about listening to your inner self, I'd love to hear more about that!"

Annerieke laughed: "I'm going to be very busy this week, even the two couples who arrived here as new guests this afternoon are longing for more. But that doesn't matter, it is an answer to the longing of my heart. I am the hostess and the cook in the guesthouse, and I like that work, but I like it best when I can help people a little further on their personal quest. You were going to stay for two weeks, so I'm sure we can find moments to talk about it and share things. And you are about the same age as Huib and Margreet, and Sjaak and Lisa. They also live back here, and are part of my guesthouse family, maybe it will click with them too. Don't just think of us as the staff of this house, the garden and the kitchen, just make contact, we like to live with the people who stay here."

Theo and Renate were surprised and deeply touched. "We never expected this, but I am very happy about it, thank you for this wonderful offer!" Theo said, while Renate dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. "It’s really a retreat center here," she added, "but not organized as such."

"Yes, something like that," Annerieke laughed, "not organized, but from our souls. I'll show you your room and we'll talk more later. I'm expecting two more people, and in the meantime I have to make sure that dinner will be ready at time."

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While Theo and Renate were getting settled in their room, Alan and Frida arrived, roughly the same age as Theo and Renate. At first they were quite silent, following their hostess to the living room and dining room, and finally with their suitcases to their room. They glanced around fleetingly and looked at each other. They nodded happily. Frida put into words what they both apparently felt: "This is a place where we feel at home. And we desperately need that."

"Yes," Alan supplemented, "we've had quite a few difficult things behind us. I grew up a Muslim, and Frida with no faith. She never cared much about rules, just did what she thought she had to do."

He smiled at his wife. "When we met, over ten years ago, there was an immediate certainty in both of us that we belonged together, very special! From that first moment, really, all we could do was yearn for each other. For Frida it was difficult that I came from a Muslim family, and that I also followed all its rules and habits. And for me it was difficult, that she didn't seem to fit into that pattern. Yet we had no choice but to continue with each other, we seemed to be stuck together. We agreed then that we would live together and do everything we can to understand each other, to feel each other out, without judging each other. My family condemned our relationship very much even then, saying that I brought a blemish on our family, and that nothing good could come from our relationship. But I couldn't do otherwise, I didn't want to do otherwise... Frida is my everything, my beloved... and her life, her way of living has shown me, that I don't need religion at all. I let it go a few months ago, which is why my family exiled us. I now have only Frida, and in the background her family. They do accept me, but we both don't experience such a click with them as we do with each other. That doesn't matter, we have each other. And in these weeks we want to move on, really take time for each other. And for myself, because I would like to learn to live the way she is used to. I can see in her that she is strong and happy. That was how she already was when I met her, strong in herself. So I never had that, but I want that too, you see? Sorry for rattling on...I treat you like a social worker, sorry ma'am."

Annerieke understood that he addressed her with ma'am as a result of his upbringing. She knew enough about religions to know that was one of the ways to teach children to bow to the elders.

"Alan, and Frida, please call me Annerieke. I know I was born earlier than you, but that makes no difference between you and me. Age is of no importance in our lives, I am sure that may be your first discovery here. Age and how people deal with it is something that locks people into a pattern. But we are equal, differences in age or gender or work are not important. Who we are inside, as you felt with Frida, Alan, that's all that’s important, all that matters.

And to return to your question, I think I understand very well what you meant by your desire to become like Frida, or better yet, to become who you are yourself. I know that quest. But dear ones, I must go on, make sure that at half past five the buffet for dinner is ready. Shall we talk further sometime soon? If you like... By the way, also my son and his girlfriend, and our gardener and his girlfriend, can regularly be found here in the guesthouse or on the grounds, they live, like me, at the back of the estate. They will also be happy to make contact with you. They are used to or are in the process of learning to live from their souls...it will surely click! We'll talk again!"

"Gladly, very gladly!" Alan gave her a firm hand, with Frida smiling happily behind him.

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Annerieke went to the kitchen with a happy and full heart, expecting beautiful things for all the guests they would have under their care for the next week or two weeks.

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The Matrix, trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQi3bBA1y8

To chapter 115. On the move together

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