"I'll help you hang the laundry, then we can leave nice and quickly," Lisa suggested, as she walked with Margreet to the laundry room.

"Good plan, I'm looking forward to going to the thrift store," Margreet replied. She removed the clean laundry from the washing machines and immediately put the machines back to work on the bedding. "There's always something nice to find there!"

On the way to the thrift store, Lisa shared about her uncertainty about what clothes would look nice on her, what kind she would feel at home in. "I really don't know what I really like. I think I'll check out the clothing corner, just to get some inspiration."

"Feel what you like, Lisa, try to feel if the clothing that catches your eye would really look nice on you, how you would feel if you were wearing it. Or try on something that looks nice on you, and look in the mirror to see if you really feel at home in it."

"Sounds like a good idea, I'll try it."

"When I've found what I need, I'll come and see if you need any help."

"That would be nice. While you're looking up your things, I will look for a rug to lay under my violin first. It feels as if I'm buying something for Sjaak's interior. I still have to get used to the fact that it is our interior. And I wonder how he will experience it if I buy something myself."

Margreet understood exactly what she meant. "You're still probing, what that's like between two people who connect with each other, who don't dominate each other. I have that too, sometimes I think I shouldn't do something because it's Huib's house, even that it's his life, but it's our house and our life. I think you will be pleased later, I think Sjaak likes it that you buy something for it. And in fact, I think he'll love it when you learn to choose for yourself."

"I'm just going to do it, and then we'll see his reaction!"

They got out, Lisa went to look for the rug and Margreet went to the cash register. Elly wasn't there, so she asked her colleague about the large linen cloth that Elly would lay out for her.

The woman, José's was on her name tag, showed it, "That will be this one, Elly told me you would come for it today." She laid a thick pile of folded linen on the counter.

Margreet felt, the thickness would be perfect. The size on the label showed it was much too large for her tapestry. She could make several of them. And the color, light ecru, almost creamy white, was perfect for embroidery. She nodded to José, "This is perfect! I'll take it, but I need to look further for yarns. Can I leave this package here for a while?"

"Sure. Just ask for it again later!" With a friendly nod, José turned and put the linen away.

Margreet walked straight to the craft corner. For now that would be her favorite corner, she had already decided. Her eyes skimmed over the bins of threads, sewing threads, embroidery threads and knitting yarns. She decided to make use of all of them, regardless of the thicknesses. That would create a nice effect. She picked out all the colors she liked, bright and soft, from the bins, and put them in her basket. She thought for a moment, what else she might need. She had brought needles and a small pair of scissors the first time around. Scissors for cutting fabric, she didn't have those yet! She doubted whether she should buy a new one, but decided to see if she could find it here. There was one, still in its packaging, with a sticker from the thrift store on it: 'fabric scissors, never used'. She put it in her basket and felt like a lucky girl.

She went to Lisa, to the clothing corner. She saw her brown hair above a clothing rack and saw that she picked up a dress and held it up slightly and looked at it with a tilted head. Lisa went to a fitting room with it and had just pulled the curtain of it closed when Margreet joined her. Margreet went to stand by the cubicle and said, "Lisa, I'm right here."

"Ah fine, I just found a dress, had a click with it right away. Now just hope it fits me."

"Yeah, sure! But even if it doesn't fit, maybe you can get an impression if the model looks nice on you."

"That's right, if it's really suits me, I can continue to look for these kinds of dresses."

A moment later, Margreet heard her amazed "Wow!" Lisa slid open the curtain and looked longingly at Margreet, "What do you think?"

"I heard your 'wow'... and I 'wow' with you, that dress was made for you Lisa. Those shades of blue are cool. And so cute, such a precisely fitted bodice and then such a wide skirt underneath. Why don't you spin around a few times?"

Margreet and Lisa laughed when they saw that the skirt swayed wonderfully. "Cool cool cool! But don't you think it's too long?" asked Lisa still slightly uncertain.

"No, not at all, just nice!"

"Then I'll take it, I'll go back to changing."

"Then in the meantime I'll see if there's anything else like this is hanging in the racks."

Margreet browsed among the dresses, found another dress of about the same model, but she doubted Lisa would like the pattern of the fabric. She held up the dress as Lisa came out of the fitting room, "Look, about the same model, how do you like it?"

She immediately saw from Lisa's face that she was also doubting. "I don't know, I doubt that fabric, those flowers are so big. I don't have the same click with that one as with this blue one."

Margreet smiled at her, "Ha, you feel exactly like me, so cool!" and she hung the dress back in the rack. "Do you want to look further?"

Lisa shook her head, "I've been looking here for quite a while and I didn't see anything else that I clicked with as much as this one. Are you ready yet?"

Margreet nodded, "On to the checkout!"

José was still working there. When she saw Margreet, she immediately grabbed the piece of fabric. She saw the enormous amount of bobbins and balls of yarn in Margreet's basket. Margreet put the scissors on the counter and wanted to start putting in all the yarn, but José stopped her. "That's crazy work, young lady, if I have to knock those all up. Shall we just make a deal... how about 10 euros for all those yarns?"

Margreet thought quickly for a moment, she was sure that 10 euros was much cheaper than if she paid the official prices. "Deal, and then add those scissors and the fabric, how much will we come to?" She paid the price José quoted and made way for Lisa.

"What a cute dress!" José was all excited, "Hold it up in front of you, if you like..." Lisa held the dress under her chin, watching José's face closely. "I'm sure it will look very good on you, awfully nice! What price does the card say? Three euros, for such a nice dress. Your day can't go wrong, I think!"

Lisa laughed, "That's what it feels like!" She paid for the dress and the rug, put the dress over her arm and walked with Margreet to the car.

"I'm going to put it on right away at home and show it to Sjaak," she said happily. "I just noticed something, by the way, when José asked if I wanted to keep the dress for me. I had such a double feeling: I was happy with the dress, but still felt kind of dependent on her reaction. And I know, I've always been that way, dependent on the reaction of other people, especially my parents and Henk. And when I just thought about showing the dress to Sjaak, it felt different. I will like it if Sjaak likes it, but I still feel more detached from it. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Oh yes, totally," Margreet responded, "very recognizable though. I think that this is something that really a lot of people have, that they feel dependent on what someone else thinks, on what they say or do, what they choose, what clothes they wear. Like a spider's web that we're all stuck in. But with Sjaak you feel safer, accepted, like I have with Huib. Then that dependency feels less heavy."

Margreet drove into the parking lot of Bloemenhof and felt more intensely than ever that she was coming home, and it filled her with enormous joy. Together they walked toward their homes, said goodbye halfway with a "see you at lunch!" and each went to their own homes.

Lisa smelled the rug she had bought. It smelled of detergent and looked clean. She picked up her violin, put the towel she had temporarily put under it on the piano stool, and put the rug in its place. It was such a simple rug, plain ecru, with a fine dark brown border. The violin fit on it just fine, the size of the rug was right, and the color of the border just seemed to go with the violin! She folded the towel, placed it on the pile of clean towels in the closet and began to change clothes. In her new dress she went outside, where she had already heard the voices of Sjaak and Anton. So nice, she thought, how those two men treated each other, real friends!

They both looked up as she came around the corner. She noticed that the same shyness she had felt at José's house came up again for a moment. Still a little dependent on their judgment? She didn't know. She saw that both men looked at her, smiling. Sjaak stood up and came to her. He grabbed her by her shoulders and held her at a distance to get a good look at her.

"I already knew you are a beautiful woman, but this really beats everything! A princess you are in that dress! Turn..." He grabbed her one hand and held it up, under which she spun a few circles. He laughed at the movement of the skirt, "Is this dress really from the thrift store?" And when Lisa nodded in the affirmative, "You succeeded well Liesel, really succeeded very well!" He gave her a kiss in confirmation. "What do you think, Anton?"

"I think you both succeeded very well, that dress is wonderful for you Lisa, looks really great on you, and you together are a particularly successful couple! You don't know how happy I am with all the beautiful developments here at Bloemenhof. Well Annerieke still..."

Sjaak protested, "No yah, not yet, she needs time to process that Erik crashed."

"You would think so, but I think she has at least the basics of it behind her. I've talked to her about how she's dealing with it. The hours she's home and doesn't necessarily have anything to do, she often takes the time to go through his stuff quietly and feel what it's doing to her. Sometimes she cleans things up when she feels like she can say goodbye to them. Like his clothes, she's put almost all of that away already. Just this morning she told me that she notices that she is at peace with it. Of course she misses him, but it's already becoming more of a beautiful memory than a deep grief. She cherishes the feeling that his soul is still riveted to hers. And she mentioned that Huib had said something beautiful to her, that Erik would want her to remain happy, even in the future with another man. She had experienced that as very positive, Huib granted her that happiness. And she had felt, that she was even ready for it already. Not that she would start looking for another man, but if the right man would come her way, she thought she could open herself for a new relationship. You know what it is, I think, she has consciously taken the time to process, to heal. It's been intense for her, she's gone deep through her grieving process. But because of that, she's able to move on. Most people don't do that, they keep on going in their work, in all the things they think they have to do, keep as much distance as possible from their unpleasant feelings and therefore such a grieving process takes a long time. Much too long, actually. So I am glad that Annerieke has chosen this intense path. She lives, she really lives, right through it all!"

"How beautiful..." sighed Lisa, "thank you for sharing that with us, I also want to try to consciously feel what things do to me. I've been clearing out stuff from the past few years, stuff that had very nasty memories attached to it. I felt it, I stiffened completely, and I was so glad that Sjaak was around to help me. And just now in the thrift store, there I saw another dress besides this one, the same model, but the fabric did not fit me. I felt it, and that made me happy. Yes, feeling what things do to you... that goes for everything, I think, for emotional wounds, stuff, people, situations, decisions you have to make... is that right?"

"That's certainly true," Anton replied, "because it's about your life. Your life is a string of all those things you mentioned, and you get to choose what to do with them. I heard from Margreet, that she broke off contact with her parents, really completely. That was a brave choice, as was your choice to go into that divorce. You both felt at that moment, that those people you were distancing yourself from were destructive to you. And you both found people with whom you have such a wonderful connection that just that connection alone will be healing. Boy, what a great vacation I've had here!"

To chapter 108. Henk wants back his possession

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