Chapter 90.

Fiery in herself,

but so broken

She was silent for a moment and then mumbled, "This was not normal. No, this was not normal, this was not love... But Sjaak... how then? What does love between man and woman look like then? How can you have sex from a place of love?"

She looked at him uncertainly as she asked.

Sjaak swallowed his tears and said quietly, "I’ve no idea Lisa, we'll find out when you're ready, one step at a time."

He waited a moment, contemplating how he wanted to explain it:

"You called it having sex, and I understand that. I don't want to call it like that. I want to make love to you someday. I want to let you experience at your body how much I love you. No more and no less. I just want to love you, I don't want to rush you into being a fiery woman. Because you know, you are fiery on the inside all along, I had already seen that, remember? So I don't have to make you into a fiery woman, because you are already that from yourself. And really not only on the physical level. Your words and actions will become more and more fiery."

Lisa smiled, "That reminds me of a movie I saw once, about a special woman. Jean was her name. She turned into a firebird at the end of the movie. Someone said that she was free at that moment."

Sjaak nodded, "I know that movie. You will be like Jean, dear Lisa, like a firebird. And again, I don't have to make you so, you already are, deep inside. The fire in you is waiting for the moment when you are sufficiently free and healed that it can burst out of your inner being like that. And then, then you will be who you are, and you will bring healing, emotional healing to people in everything you do. But first, it's your turn for that!"

They were silent for a moment, Lisa let his words come to her. Even though she couldn't imagine it, deep down she felt the truth of his words.

"Lisa, shall I bring you to the guest house? It's already quite late..."

She looked at him, pleadingly. "Can I sleep here? With you? In bed with you? Just to sleep and know that I am safe? Telling my story has made me so tired, and also anxious. I am afraid I will have nightmares. Telling has released so much, that's why..."

Sjaak found it heavy for himself, because he longed for her so strongly in everything, including physically. But he realized that she desperately needed that piece of security. He gave her a shirt of his own, which she could use as a nightshirt. She crawled into bed next to him, facing him. He put his arm around her. Lisa fell asleep almost immediately, a deep sleep, exhausted from telling and reliving what had happened to her.

Sjaak couldn’t get to sleep so quickly. Her story had been so much more intense than he could have ever imagined. It cut through his soul, her pain, her fear, her messed up self-image. His poor girl, so abused, so destroyed....

Finally he fell asleep, and he was the one who ended up in a nightmare. In his dream he was a spectator, watching his dearest being abused by other men.

With a furious scream, he woke up... and looked into Lisa's big horrified eyes.

.

.

Jean Grey vs Apocalypse – The Phoenix Force Scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflRInMeFo8

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