After coffee, Bianca and Karel went back upstairs. Karel had left Julian, under mild protest at Lisa's place with the promise to pick him up in a moment.

Upstairs, Karel looked around again.

"You haven't exaggerated a letter, what a space here!" he admired. "Just a pity you're in an attic, you can't just walk out."

"No, unfortunately you can't, but well, we're downstairs in no time too, and it's so wonderfully spacious here. It's so nice to walk outside with Julian. He runs in all directions, and can't really hurt anywhere. He now knows how to find Huib and Margreet's house, wants to go to 'Goja' or play with 'Wijam' at 'Saak' and 'Isa'. It's so funny, how he starts pronouncing people's names. He skips something to my understanding, I thought children started with simple words, like doll and ball, and mum and dad of course."

"Apparently those are words we want them to say first, so we often tell them those. And yes, they are less difficult than Bianca and Karel. I love how he is doing, not only just unintelligible stories, but more and more recognisable words. It's going pretty fast all at once."

"Yes, since you've been there actually. You're a good influence on him," Bianca smiled.

"And on you? Do I have a good influence on you too?"

Karel put his hands on her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.

"I want to say yes, but it doesn't feel like it yet. I feel so insecure! Already staying with you, I want to, to be close to you, but I feel terrified. And then also your parents are coming. Do they already know you've had something of a relationship since a day and a half?"

"No, but they'll find out soon enough. I'm sure they'll be happy with you because they'll feel we're soulmates."

"Maybe so, but I feel so insecure about it, about everything. I'm only sure of one thing..." Bianca faltered.

"And what is that one thing?"

"That of those soulmates, I feel that strong attraction, and I've talked to Annerieke about it, whether it's really not something else, but she confirmed that they've all experienced the same thing, that that click between us is real. But the past is getting in my way, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Bianca, since your first visit to me, a huge desire for you has grown inside me, volcanic just like that. But I want only one thing with it: to conquer your heart, to protect you, to help you heal and all that goes with it. Would it help you if I overwhelm you, if I force you into something you're not ready for or don't want yet?"

Bianca shook her head. "Then I would try to flee, or break into smithereens..."

"And those are not options I have in mind! I can't tell you to trust me. Trust is allowed to grow, there's nothing else you can do about it. On another note... I was just thinking about your sewing, when we were talking about doll and ball... Are you taking it with you? I want to see you when you are totally in your element with your sewing."

Bianca chuckled, "Good idea, then I'll get that together first."

She put everything she needed for her sewing on her desk. She was bothered by the fact that Karel was watching her, but said nothing about it. As time passed, and she packed her personal stuff and Julian's belongings, she got used to it a bit, it already felt fairly familiar. With a deep sigh, she put the bags together.

"So, done, I think I have everything," she said.

"And otherwise we'll just walk or drive back to pick up what you forgot," Karel suggested.

"Yes, convenient that it's so close," Bianca smiled.

They carried the stuff downstairs, put it in the back of Karel's car.

"Oh, the buggy still, and the car seat."

Bianca picked up the buggy in the laundry room and also grabbed their coats there, for emergencies. She untied the car seat from her car and gave Karel instructions on the car seat, how to fasten it.

"So now just pick up our little guy, then we will have everything we need!" Karel laughed.

Bianca looked at him in surprise: "Our little guy..." A happy smile broke through on her face. "That you love him and don't want to separate him from me, I already believed that, but this... this sounds so... I have no words for it!"

Karel put his arm around her shoulder and walked with her to the large kitchen.

"Kade! Banka!" cried Julian, as soon as he discovered them. Lisa put him on the floor, whereupon he ran to Karel. Karel did not lift him, but gave him a hand.

"Are you coming with me to Karel's house?"

"Yeah! Kade ous!" he said with a happy exclaim.

"Cosy! Dear people, thank you for letting me take your loyal help for a while. I will shower her with all goodness so that you get her back radiant!"

"Or rather not," thought Sjaak, "then she will come back sad because she would rather stay with you... But we will take that too as a good sign. Have some great days together!"

Bianca nodded and smiled. "See you on Monday then," she said, suddenly uncertain again.

At the door, she turned around for a second, saw raised thumbs and kissing hands. She chuckled and waved to the people who had become so dear to her. She hoped she would also feel so at ease with Karel so quickly!

.

Karel parked the car next to the front door. First he took Julian out of the seat, released him, but kept a close eye on him. As soon as he saw Julian running towards the street, he sprinted after him.

"No, little man, that's dangerous. Then the cars will collide with you."

" Au! Juja au!"

"Exactly, and we don't want that hey?"

"Wanno au..."

Bianca, meanwhile, had put the bags and buggy next to the car, and was waiting for Karel to open the front door.

"You can put the buggy back in the car, I managed to pick one up at the thrift shop. Still looks neat!"

"Oh really?" And as she put the buggy back, she asked further. "Well I can't hold out any longer, I was all over the place with questions, about a camp bed and so on, do we have to go after that later?"

Karel smiled, "Come in, then you can take stock yourself of what you think you still need. You can oversee that more easily than I can."

He picked up one of the bags and walked with Julian to the front door.

.

Inside, Bianca feasted her eyes. Next to the sofa was a playpen, outside she saw a camp bed and a buggy. Julian immediately dribbled to the garden door and shouted, "Out! Out!"

"Yes, we're going outside in a minute, but first we're going upstairs. Are you coming with us, up the stairs?"

"Tais... tais..." muttered Julian, "uppe tais."

"Good thing it's a closed stair, then he can't slip between the steps," Bianca said.

"I thought of that yesterday too, when I saw him walking around here in my mind. And I'm glad the stairs don't come out into the room, then he can't escape upstairs and crash down. He can't reach the doorknobs yet, can he? Otherwise I'll turn them in a moment."

With a bag in one hand, and Julian clinging to his shirt with his other hand, he calmly walked upstairs after him.

"I didn't know he could climb the stairs already," Bianca said in surprise. "I actually never thought of letting him clamber up by himself."

"You're probably pretty busy, all together, your work at the guesthouse, taking care of Julian, and then trying to make time for your sewing. Then you sometimes overlook things," Karel explained.

"Yes, I suppose that's it..."

Upstairs, he closed off the stairs with a stair gate, which Bianca stared at in amazement.

"You really thought of everything! And by the stairs to the attic too, one..."

"Yes, I rarely go to the attic, so I decided to close it. Kind of safe for our little man."

He preceded her to the room where the single bed was.

"Shall we put the bags here for now? If you want to decide otherwise tonight, sleep with me... you can always do that."

Bianca heard what he said, but meanwhile stared in amazement at the dresser and cute cot that stood against the other wall. A dresser with some towels, a box of wipes, a pack of nappies, and a fully complete cot, neatly made up with a cheerful duvet.

"He doesn't sleep with a pillow yet does he?" Karel asked.

Bianca slowly shook her head. "No, not yet..."

She looked at him open-mouthed, swallowed her tears, but could not prevent her eyes from being suspiciously moist.

"You've arranged everything, bought everything..." she whispered as she stared at him, "everything for my little son..."

"For our little son," Karel corrected. "I hope you will both feel at home here, really at home."

He put his hands along her face and placed a tentative kiss on her forehead.

"Banka kiss?" asked Julian in surprise. "Banka kiss? Juja kiss?"

Karel chuckled, "Yeah sure, Julian can have a kiss too. Just like Bianca?"

Julian nodded: "Banka kiss, Juja kiss!"

Karel got down on one knee and put his hands along Julian's face, giving him a kiss on his forehead. Julian looked radiantly at his mother, who wiped away a few tears from her eyes.

Karel stood up again, surprised by Bianca wrapping her arms around his neck, laying her head against his shoulder. She had no words, but this simple gesture told him how happy she was. Carefully, he put his arms around her waist, stroking her back and her hair.

"Bianca... darling... my heart overflows to you..." he whispered.

"I... I would prefer to sleep with you tonight, but... how should I say..." responded Bianca.

"You mean without making love?" asked Karel.

"Yes, I really can't do that yet. But being close to you, do you fancy that, or am I asking you something too complicated?"

"Complicated? Do you mean that I then overflow with lust and have to fight against it? Something like that?"

Bianca nodded. "Yes, something like that," she whispered.

"But darling, I feel the same way now, I am also hugely attracted to you physically, but I'm not going to raid you like an animal." Karel chuckled. "That reminds me of Jan, at the discovery centre. He had brought a cow and a bull from the toy farm to the coffee table and made the bull jump on the cow. He realised very well that's how it worked, thought that while that bull liked it, that cow didn't like it because that bull was just pounding away."

"Oh really?" Bianca laughed. "And then?"

"Patrick went into it very seriously, saying he didn't know how that cow liked it, but that he did know that a woman wouldn't like it if a man did that to her. And Jan said that his father always said that a man should be nice to his wife, that she should be able to notice in ‘aaaall’ things that her husband loves her. And he did to me what he loved so much when he saw what his father did to his mother. He stroked my forehead with his fingertips, stroked my hair slightly backwards, and told me that his father then looked so sweet, haha, he couldn't do that very well himself. Then I explained to him that it was because I was not his wife either, if I were, and he really loved me, I would see it in his eyes. He realised that was true."

As Karel shared the memory with Bianca, he put a little more distance between their bodies so that he could look at her. As he narrated, he did what Jan had narrated, caressing her face with his fingertips, stroking the loose hair from her face and looking at her in a way that ignited a fire inside her. Karel saw that her eyes, which had been calm before, were now growing more restless.

"Enough for now?" he whispered.

She nodded and let go of him.

"Good, you can always indicate that, even if I don't notice it myself," Karel promised. He looked at Julian, who was staring from one to the other with an index finger like a hook in his mouth.

Suddenly he sprang into motion: "Banka mama, Kade papa!"

He dribbled towards them and held out a hand to each of them.

"Wow..." whispered Bianca, looking from Julian to Karel. "This is quite nice! What an affirmation!"

"Yes, great..." smiled Karel. "Shall we go downstairs? Or do you want to unpack some stuff here first?"

"I do want to unpack a bit, I'll feel calmer afterwards."

"Shall I take Julian to the garden for a while?"

"Yes, that's fine, I'll be right there."

Bianca quickly took Julian's things out of the bag and put them in the dresser.

She looked at her own overnight bag, made up her mind and went with it to find Karel's bedroom. Amazed, she looked around the spacious bedroom. A wardrobe door was open, blatantly showing that all the shelves were empty. Bianca smiled, suspecting Karel would like it if she put her things in there.

A moment later, she put the empty bag at the bottom of the cupboard and closed it. She turned around, discovered Karel in the doorway.

"Julian is sleeping in the camp bed, he was so tired! Nice to find you here. How do you like this room?"

"Feels like coming home too, lovely all that wood and... that rattan dressing table..."

She looked at him frowning.

"Long live the thrift store! Do you like it?"

"Yes, really like it! Did you buy it for me?"

Karel walked over and sat down on the wooden stool. "No, this will be my regular spot when I get dressed," he said with a mischievous face.

"Oh yes crazy guy!" laughed Bianca, walking towards him, standing behind him and spontaneously wrapping her arms around him and burying her nose in his hair. A moment later, she looked at him through the mirror, looked into his dark eyes that looked at her incredibly in love. She laid her head on his shoulder, against the side of his head.

"Like a living selfie," she whispered.

Karel nodded: "You know what I think? I think that couple in the mirror look incredibly good, like they were made for each other."

Bianca sighed deeply, feeling the deep intention of his words. She smiled at him. "Yes, a beautiful couple..." she said with another deep sigh.

Karel turned slightly and pulled her into his lap. The stool seemed to protest, to which Bianca immediately disengaged. "Not here, that stool won't hold!"

"Downstairs then? On the garden bench?"

Bianca smiled, "Yes, on the garden bench I think is better."

Downstairs, she walked into the garden, to the camp bed. Julian was sleeping peacefully under just a duvet cover. She looked up at the large cloth Karel had stretched over a large part of the garden.

"Perfect, that cloth, really ideal. I can't imagine he would burn like that yet."

"I don't think so either, maybe a little touch-up, just from the outside air, but that can't hurt."

Karel grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the garden bench. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. He said nothing, just held her in his arms, gave her an occasional kiss on her hair, but nothing else.

They sat like that for almost an hour, when Karel's stomach began to protest audibly.

"Do you feel like eating too?" he asked Bianca.

She stretched a little and looked at him dreamily. "I almost fell asleep. And yes, I am in the mood for food."

She stood up and saw that Karel was struggling to get up.

"Oh boy, are your legs asleep?" she asked with a mischievous grin. "I will massage them for a while, just sit quietly."

She began to gently knead his feet, his ankles, his calves. Karel stopped her: "Don't go any further, Bianca, that would be too stimulating! But how can you massage, where did you learn that?"

"Nowhere, just a bit on feel."

"Then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that part of your feeling! It was wonderfully relaxing!"

Carefully he stood up. "It did help too, I'm doing much better already. Sandwiches, come along, we'll prepare them in the kitchen and have a picnic in the garden!"

Smiling, Bianca walked behind him to the kitchen. "Shall I make coffee in the meantime? Or would you rather drink something else with it?"

"Make some coffee yes, delicious! My parents are coming tomorrow evening, in the early evening. They will leave when the traffic jams are pretty much resolved. Shall we make another salad tomorrow and put some meat in the wok? Or shall we cook more elaborate meals?"

"Let's keep it simple, I find it exciting enough!"

"Then we'll do that! How many sandwiches do you want? Two? Me three, and Julian? Really only one?"

"Yes, he always gets breast milk after it, and usually something like fruit during the afternoon. Do you have a fine grater?"

"Yes, and all kinds of fruit in the bowl on the dining table. You know what I always like, but what I actually rarely do because I'm only alone? A fruit salad, just mixing everything together. Do you like that too?"

"Oh yes, delectable!"

Karel laughed at the way she pronounced it, he could just hear from that how delectable she found it. "Then we'll do that, and then we can take some from all kinds of fruit, to make Julian a delicious mix."

Bianca looked at him fondly. "We... we'll do it together... I don't need to be alone anymore..." Tears and a stuffed throat made it difficult for her to speak further.

"No, you don't have to take responsibility, care, enjoy yourself alone anymore. We will do it together, working together, enjoying together, living together, the more the better."

"If I didn't have this fear and uncertainty, I would want to move in with you like this. It sounds so weird, we hardly know each other, but my heart goes out to you, and... everything is just really good! Just my fear and insecurity... so hard!"

"Just this sleepover first, then we'll see, right?"

Bianca nodded, "Yes, fine, I don't need to make a hasty decision."

"Definitely not, just follow your heart and discuss anything that gets in the way, or stupidly go through it."

Bianca nodded again: "Yes, I did learn that at Bloemenhof. Going through it... it's hard, but good. But could that also mean that I just have to go through that fear and stuff? I mean, I know that here with you is my place, my home, my life. How I have to fill everything in practically, even with my work at the guesthouse, that will be fine. But just about my fear... would it help to decide to live here despite the fear?"

"Not now, I think, you'd be forcing it, but maybe in a few days you'll experience that you can, so you can go through it with me. Don't worry about it, we'll see in a few days, whether or not it's feasible then," Karel thought.

"Yes, you're right, but my mind goes on and on about it."

"Tricky huh, but that too is healing, dear, you get a little further every time. Do you like cheese on your bread?"

"Huh? Cheese? Yes, yummy!"

"Lettuce leaves underneath and a few slices of cucumber on top?"

"Well well, you're turning it into a pie! It looks delicious, nice and fresh!"

"It's party time, with you by my side... so we'll do a nice fresh pie!"

As Karel walked to the fridge, he briefly took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. Tremours went through Bianca's whole body. How did he do that? How did he manage that? Questions were spinning through her head. Was it all that soul connection?

.

They had just finished their sandwich when Julian woke up and looked around in amazement. He hadn't seen Karel and Bianca yet, but quickly called out, "Kade out!"

"Hey, do I hear my name there?" asked Karel, holding Bianca back

Julian turned his head towards the terrace, crawled up and started cheering, "Banka! Kade! Eat!"

Bianca chuckled, did get up now, grabbed the nappy bag and went after Karel to the camp bed to get Julian out.

"Are his clothes still dry?"

"Yes, thankfully... Oops not anymore! Apparently he's peeing now. You rascal! Couldn't hold it any longer?"

Karel laid Julian in the grass and took off his clothes, refreshed him with a wipe and gave him a clean nappy.

"So, do you need any clean clothes? Or will you stay in your bare tummy?"

Julian looked at her beaming, slapping his little hands on his belly: "Tummy! Tummy! Pas pas pas!"

"What? Or do you mean pats pats pats?"

"Yes! Pas pas pas!" he exclaimed as he continued to pat his hands on his belly.

"Then I think you should come and sit with us alone with your nappy for a while."

"Kade tummy?" asked Julian. "Kade pas pas?"

"I don't know, though, if I have a bare belly... let's have a look..."

Karel pulled up his shirt, and Julian crowed, "Yes, Kade tummy! Juja pas pas pas!"

Karel pretended not to understand, whereupon Bianca moved a little closer next to him, lowering Julian enough. He chattered with his little hands on Karel's belly and laughed in amusement. "Kade pas pas pas!"

"So, enough patting young man. Karel has prepared a cheese sandwich, shall I go and eat it?" teased Bianca.

"No no Juja eat, Juja settis teese!"

"And then shall I get you some water again?" asked Karel.

"Tate yes!"

"I don't know if he likes that either..." began Bianca, but Karel was already inside, no longer hearing her.

"Well go ahead then... Let's see," she said, sitting down on the garden bench with him. "I forgot a knife and fork... shall we do it like a monkey?"

She pulled out a piece of bread with cheese and held it out to him. Julian's head shot forward, snatching the piece from her fingers.

"Hey Julian, don't eat my fingers hey!"

Julian looked at her... a grin appeared on his face. He grabbed her hand, and put one of her fingers in his mouth. He bit very gently and then let go again.

"Ummy! No au!"

"Do you find my finger yummy?" asked Bianca in surprise. "Then what does my finger taste like?"

"Teese!" he said confidently. He pointed to his sandwich, trying to grab it.

"How do you want to eat it then?" asked Bianca. "Hold on, I'll double it for you."

She folded the sandwich in half and wanted to give it to Julian.

"No no! Teese!"

"Yes, the cheese is in it, look." Bianca opened the sandwich so he could see it. With lightning speed, he snatched the cheese out and started munching on it deliciously.

"What about your sandwich?"

"Settis too!" he said as soon as his mouth was empty "Teese ummy, settis too!"

He grabbed the sandwich from her hand, and started nibbling on it with his little teeth. Bianca watched, dumbfounded at how he managed to do it himself. For a moment it flashed through her, the question of how she could ever teach him to eat properly... but she pushed the question away. For now, he did it like this, and it was abundantly clear that he enjoyed it. She kissed him on his hair and whispered, "Yummy huh?"

"Ummy," he said with half-full mouth, choking and coughing the lot off.

"Oh oh..." he said and happily ate again.

Bianca raised her eyebrows. He didn't mind choking... could it be because of parents' reactions that children became afraid of choking?

Karel came and sat next to her, putting a glass of water on the table in front of Julian.

"I couldn't resist, I filmed you guys for a moment. What a precious sight how Julian did take care of it himself. By the way, I was surprised how he picked up the choking. Just cough and move on!"

"Yes, I thought so too, maybe parents make children too scared. And of course it can also go wrong, if there are bigger bits that stick around, so you get stuffy."

"At least he didn't suffer from that."

"No... what is it Julian?"

Julian had just swallowed his last bite and wiped his little hands his way on a cloth lying on the table. Now he started pulling at her shirt.

"What do you want?" asked Bianca, as if she had no idea what he wanted.

"Those! Juja those!" he said, poking at her breast.

"Oh, do you want to drink? But Karel just brought a glass of water for you," she Bianca winked at Karel.

"No no, Juja those!" and he prodded again.

"Okay, clearly, you'd rather have the breast than a glass of water."

"Blame him," Karel said with a mischievous face.

Bianca looked at him briefly, shook her head smiling and focused on Julian again. She pulled up her shirt and undid her nursing bra. Julian grabbed her breast with both hands and started drinking, half-hidden under Bianca's shirt. After a while, he reappeared and prodded the other breast.

"Those too!" he said and to Karel: "Ummy!"

"Oh yeah? is that yummy?"

"Yes! Kade too?"

"No thanks, that's for you," Karel said with a smile, looking at Julian in love. He shook his head when Bianca looked at him.

"Who wouldn't love such a gorgeous kid?" he asked her.

She shrugged, "I wouldn't know, at least I have no problem loving him!"

"Me neither..." Karel responded. "I'm going to ask you something, and I'd like you to answer very honestly."

Bianca looked at him questioningly: "What then?"

"Can I lift your shirt a little so I can see him drinking? Nothing erotic mind you, just the wonder of a child drinking with his mother. Are you okay with that? Or rather not?"

Bianca smiled: "Of course you can do that, your little son right?"

Karel's face broke open into a beaming smile. He gave her a kiss on her cheek, lifting the shirt slightly. He drank in the image of the fanatically sucking little boy, chuckling when Julian looked at him with slanted eyes. Julian released the breast, looked straight at him and told it again, "Ummy!" and then continued drinking.

"Bianca, how wonderful this is, it seems so ordinary, but it touches me. This is so intimate, intimate between the two of you. I really enjoy being part of it."

Bianca smiled at him. "When I am at peace, like now, it indeed feels intimate, especially now, the three of us..."

"No unpleasant feelings?" asked Karel, just to be sure.

"No, not at all, this is different, I think."

"Yes, it's different than if I started sucking on it, that would be a totally different session." He looked at her mischievously.

"You suck on it? Why would you want to?"

"If you are to the point where you want to be physically intimate with me, I would love to do that, to get you excited. But that's future music, we'll keep that in mind," he replied with a wink.

And Bianca again had something to think about... To get her excited... she didn't know that, what did he mean by it? She decided to ask straight out.

"Karel, I don't know that, what do you mean by what you said, getting me excited?"

Karel realised immediately, that Julian's father had only used her for his own lust.

"Darling, I don't know much about it, I'll be perfectly honest. I have gratified myself before, but I have never slept with a woman. You will be the first for me, when you are ready, we'll keep that in mind! But now, feel consciously, when Julian sucks, what do you feel in the rest of your body?"

Bianca smiled a little shyly. "A slight tingle from below..." she brought out blushing.

"What would happen then, if I start sucking on it and licking your nipple in the meantime?"

Bianca got redder and redder.

"I don't know, Karel, I've never experienced that before!"

"Doesn't matter, try to imagine it..."

"I think that tingle is there then too, but probably stronger."

"I think so too. And I'm looking forward to it, to the moment when I can let you enjoy it. Don't feel rushed though, I have absolutely no desire to go over your limits and blockages. I'm just giving you a prospect of what I think should be enjoyment!"

Bianca pondered. "I don't quite understand. When Julian's father forced me... he didn't do anything to get me excited, he just went in, and frankly, that was quite painful. So I don't have that much desire for such things. I do desire you, but I do not desire sex... I'm so sorry, Karel."

"Why dear, why should you regret it? When I desire you, I desire you in everything. Okay, it's different with me than with you, I desire you as... crazily said... as a total package. So sexual too, but not in the way you experienced. Again, I have no experience, but how you describe it, that feels like pure rape to me."

"Yes but, I loved him, and then you do such things... he said."

"So... if you had resisted, that would have been a sign, in his opinion, that you didn't really love him?"

"Yes, it did sound that way..."

"Darling, that really has nothing to do with love, really nothing at all! It was pure self-interest on his part, and he manipulated you by making you believe such a thing. I feel terrible that this happened to you, but I must say I love the result in the form of Julian. Just look at him, lying there watching our conversation. Dude, I know it's important for you to discover the world in your own time and in your own way, but actually I think you're still too young for this kind of conversation now... Yeah, laugh it up, funny rascal!"

Karel took Julian from her so Bianca could close her nursing bra again and straighten her clothes.

"And how are you now? Belly fat and round? Unbelievable, a whole cheese sandwich and then emptying two breasts..."

"Those!" cried Julian, as he threw himself forward to Bianca and poked at her breast. "Those! Ummy!"

"Nice man, it's your flavour so it is... well, now we know that! I'm still learning, I can already tell."

Julian let out a hearty burp, to which Karel played a startled response. Julian laughed terribly.

"Yes, you laugh, you scared me!" grumbled Karel, but immediately put his nose in Julian's neck and whispered, "No way, I wasn't really scared, you burp nicely!"

Bianca laughed: "Crazy guys!"

"For now you'll have to make do with only men, lady! Our next baby will be a boy too. Only after that will there be a girl."

"What, have you been sucking your thumb too much?" asked Bianca in utter amazement.

"No, no kidding, when you came here for dinner recently, I walked into the garden in the afternoon, and saw as if in a dream, while wide awake, that Julian was sitting there playing with a smaller brother. He looked a bit like me, brown eyes, black curls. And you were sitting here on the sofa with an even smaller child on your lap, and that was a girl, and she looked more like you. It felt so real, like it was already like that... I wonder how that will turn out!"

To chapter 81. Together

Or to the Table of contents