Lisa stumbled down the stairs. She could no longer call it walking; she felt like a waddling duck.

"Another week...," she sighed to Sjaak as she sat down at the dining table. "I'll be happy when he's here, but damn, how I'm looking up to this delivery. Last night I dreamt about the abuse, those pokes those guys pounded into me were ten times as thick as in reality. Yes, sorry, I can't help it either, it just was. And it hurt so much, my whole body resisted it. And then when I think of that childbirth... it must be like that, only in reverse. Something so wide, and then that has to come out. I'm sorry Sjaak, I want so much to think positively about it, and I really long for the baby too, but that delivery feels like the disaster of my life."

Without looking at Sjaak, she started filling her bowl with yoghurt and muesli, stirring in a scoop of forest fruit jam. Because she was so focused on that, she did not see the pain and sadness on Sjaak's face. The misery his sweetheart had gone through in the years before their relationship was far from fully healed, and had been playing up more and more in recent days. Somehow her thoughts of childbirth linked to the abuse. She was well aware that it was completely different, but it felt like the same kind of miserable drama.

He spread his sandwich, cut a few slices of cheese and put them on top. In silence, he began to eat. He was startled when Lisa pushed her bowl aside.

"I have no appetite at all, it doesn't taste good to me. I hope I don't get the flu now at the last minute too." She started crying whimpering. "Sorry Sjaak, I don't want to put a show on myself, but I'm scared, I don't like it, and now I also have a stomach ache and that yoghurt tastes awful, whereas I always like it so much. I feel like I'm going to fall apart into pieces! I really don't know how to go on!"

Sjaak couldn't stand it any longer, walked towards her. He stood next to her chair and pulled her against him. "Liesel dear... at least you don't feel hot, you don't seem to have a fever."

Suddenly he suspected, that this abdominal pain could be the beginning of labour. He noticed that she suddenly stiffened, clutching at her belly. A while later, she relaxed again. Sjaak looked at his watch, 7.09am. He continued stroking her quietly and tried to rock her a little, whispering her pet name: "Liesel... Liesel dear..."

He didn't know what else to say, nothing just came to his mind. He would help her, be with her. But there would be no point in saying that. She knew he would be there for her when the time came, but her feelings were flying in all other directions.

She stiffened again, holding her breath until she relaxed again. He looked at his watch again, 7.13am. There were only four minutes between them. When it happened again after four minutes, he grabbed his mobile, and while he kept holding Lisa against him with one hand, he sent a text message to Huib: 'contractions every four minutes'. Moments later he received a message back: 'we are coming'

Sjaak leaned over to Lisa: "Huib and Margreet will be here soon. I'm just going to unlock the doors, so they can go in straight away."

"Sjaak! Sjaak! Why are they coming..." Lisa faltered. "Do you think labour is starting? I think I just have the stomach flu, I'm going upstairs to the toilet, then I can get cleaned up right away."

On the stairs, the abdominal pain returned. Lisa began to doubt, Sjaak could be right. Still, she would go to the toilet, just in case she did have stomach flu.

Sjaak soon came upstairs after her. "Getting everything ready, so I don't have to think about that anymore," he muttered to himself. He filled two pitchers with hot water and laid out everything he thought he would need.

Lisa came into the bedroom: "It was true, I had to go to the toilet, but these cramps go on and on. I think it's contractions after all, my belly gets so hard every time. Oh, I hear Huib and Margreet. I feel so upset; do you mind if Margreet stays with us? Huib rather not, he's a sweetheart, but I find it hard to have another man there."

"I've already talked to Huib about it once. He suggested just staying around, and said Margreet was happy to stay with you if you wanted. I'll go over to them to talk it over. In the meantime, you put on something easy."

Sjaak walked downstairs, while Lisa put on an easy long shirt and laid down her dressing gown on Sjaak's part of the bed. She grabbed a pack of maternity mattresses, tore it open and pulled out a mattress. She laid it on her bed as a precaution, but had not yet had the peace to lie down. Margreet had given birth in the bath, and if she became pregnant again, she absolutely would do it again, but Lisa did not have the peace to choose, really did not know what to do.

Margreet knocked on the bedroom door. "Margreet here, can I come in?"

"Yaa, please come!" moaned Lisa, who was just trying to cope with another contraction.

Margreet entered, saw her dear friend standing beside the bed completely cramped and anxious. She oversaw that the things needed were ready, she just didn't see anything yet in which the afterbirth could be caught, but that would come later.

She put her hands on Lisa's shoulders and said urgently but kindly, "Lisa, look at me... Shall I stay with you until you have your little guy in your arms?"

Lisa nodded desperately: "Yes, please, please stay with me. Sjaak too, you too. Where is Gloria?"

"Downstairs, she had just been drinking when Sjaak sent that text message. So she can go for a while. Huib stays near her. If he needs to do anything for us, we can call him that way."

Another contraction... "Just relax, breathe, breathe calmly, Lisa? Lisa, breathe with me!"

Margreet breathed in and out well audibly. When Lisa regained her composure, Margreet explained to her, making a small hole of her mouth to breathe through it. "Not too fast, just squeeze the air out slowly, suck new air back in. Follow my pace. If you go too fast, you'll get dizzy. Do you understand me?"

Lisa nodded, but was quite confused by the tension and was afraid she wouldn't manage it.

Sjaak, meanwhile, had also come in. "Lisa, the bath is filling up, I think you should relax there for a while. Feel free to keep your shirt on if you feel more comfortable, none of that matters."

"I don't know, in the bath..." A new contraction made her unable to speak. Margreet joined her, breathing in and out audibly herself, but noticed that Lisa couldn't manage to follow her in it.

"Come, in the bath you can relax better. Sjaak stays with you, I stay with you." Margreet felt herself becoming insecure because of Lisa's anxiety. She hadn't suffered from it herself at all, understood very well that it was different for Lisa, but she wasn't sure what to do about it. If only she could ask Huib... At that moment, she knew what to do. If Lisa had a contraction in the bath, she would put her hand on her belly, thinking only of that womb and that baby. She felt with certainty that that would help herself radiate her soul to where the battle was being fought, in Lisa's belly.

Lisa had taken off her underpants and flung it into a corner. She carefully stepped into the bath. Clutching the edges of the bath and with Sjaak supporting her, she lowered herself and sat down, drooping slightly.

"Here it comes again!" she moaned.

"Sjaak, stay by her face, help her breathe, stay calm. I'll stay by her belly," Margreet instructed.

Sjaak sat down on the edge of the bath by Lisa's head and placed his hands on both her cheeks, while Lisa did her best to breathe as Margreet had instructed. He saw that Margreet put both her hands around Lisa's hardening belly. He understood what she was doing, her focus was on where the action and pain were, allowing her soul to support there.

After the contraction, he stood up, grabbed two folded towels, laid them by the bath. "For when you want to be on your knees later, put a folded towel under your knees, then you won't hurt yourself so much."

Margreet smiled. "Thank you! I'll alternate standing and sitting on the edge for now. If I keep moving, I'll last the longest."

The contractions came and went. Restlessness and anxiety returned every now and then, but each time the closeness of her loved ones was enough to calm down again and carry on bravely.

Margreet nodded to Lisa, seeing that the next contraction was coming. She put her hands around her belly again, while Sjaak put one hand above Lisa's breasts and the other behind her head. He didn't know if it would help, but he felt he had to do it this way.

"Stay calm, breathe calm," he whispered, "you are doing well, brave Liesel, you are doing well."

The contraction subsided, Margreet briefly stroked the belly and straightened up again, smiling at Lisa. "How do you think it's going?"

"Better, like the pain is less when you put your hands on my belly. And I felt calmer now that you put your hand above my breasts here, Sjaak. Your souls are radiating, I can tell, thank you," she replied, as a faint smile appeared on her face.

"I like nothing better; I think it's an amazing discovery that our souls have that ability within them. Here we go again! This one seems different..."

Lisa spontaneously followed the movement of her body, rose slightly, and squeezed. "Good Lisa! Good, I feel the baby shifting down slightly! On the next contraction further!"

After the second push contraction, Sjaak asked Margreet: "Can you help Lisa with one hand on her belly and one hand above her chest? Then I'll sit by her legs to catch the baby."

Margreet smiled and nodded. Sjaak placed both towels over the bath edge under Lisa's head in such a way that she would not hurt herself if she fell back after pushing. Margreet and Sjaak switched places, just in time to witness the birth of the head at the next push contraction.

"The head is already there, Lisa, one more time, then he will flop out completely."

The worst of the tension was over for Lisa. She bent down to see if she could see the head. "Not quite, I can only see a small piece, but I believe you, the rest will be attached," she chuckled. "And here we go again!"

Margreet supported Lisa with her one arm and put her hand on her stomach again. "Good, keep going!" she urged.

At that moment, Lisa felt the baby's body slip out of her and saw how Sjaak lifted him up a little and how the umbilical cord dangled down. Lisa stretched out her hands to the baby. Sjaak laid him gently on her shirt. Margreet remembered that Huib had checked with his little finger in Gloria's mouth to make sure nothing was in the way, and since this little guy wasn't roaring, she did the same with him. She pulled out some mucus, but it remained quiet. Still, the baby looked fine, breathing clearly and looking at her.

"Don't you feel like crying? You didn't mind being born? Were you not shocked at all then?"

Margreet found it hard to trust and, intuitively, put her hand on his shoulder blades. Suddenly he coughed, expelling more mucus. For a moment, he gave a few strong cries, moving his little head back and forth. Then he lay back down, and started searching with his little mouth.

"He wants to drink Lisa, shall I lift your shirt, or do you want to do it yourself?"

Lisa was happy with the baby, happy that everything was over, but also quite upset. "You do it, I'll hold him."

She lifted the baby slightly, while Margreet tried to pull the shirt up under his little body. As soon as he got his chance, he gasped at her nipple and started sucking.

"Unbelievable," Lisa whispered, "unbelievable... so crazy, I think it's quite normal for young animals to know exactly what to do, but somewhere I expected that I would have to teach him, have to give him the breast. That's what it's called, isn't it? Maybe that expression confused me. Oh Sjaak, the umbilical cord is yet to be done!"

Sjaak nodded, holding up both umbilical clamps. He had the scissors ready on the bathtub edge. Lisa removed the baby from the breast, putting her little finger next to her nipple in his mouth. She turned him slightly so that Sjaak could reach his tummy. She pulled a dirty face when he set the clamps and cut the cord.

"That feels strange to say the least..." muttered Sjaak. "If he wants, he can continue drinking again."

He looked confused for a moment at the strand that was still in the tub and partly disappeared into Lisa's body. "Oh yes, of course, the placenta is yet to come. I thought, what am I going to do with the rest of that umbilical cord!" Together they shot into laughter, the tension was really gone now.

"Here comes a contraction, I'm just going to pop out that placenta of yours, kid!" Lisa joked. Margreet put her hand on Lisa's belly again, as she pushed it out with ease. "That felt almost crazier than the birth itself. Such a baggy feeling!"

Sjaak held up the placenta slightly, looking at it with a dirty face. "Unbelievable that he got everything he needed out of that. Where should I put him?"

"Do you have anything like a glass bowl in the kitchen?" asked Margreet.

"Yep, would you get it? In the right-hand cupboard, under the sink."

"I'm going to find it, you keep an eye on your family!" laughed Margreet.

"I will! My little family, oh Liesel... I'm so mighty proud of you," Sjaak beamed at her, holding the placenta in his hands. "I can't even hug you, here I am with this silly thing."

The baby was startled by Lisa's hooting laughter. "Oh dear William, sweet boy, do I scare you like that? Oops, burp, throw out my precious milk. Well, it's only a bit it seems."

With her hand, she ran some of the still warm water over him. "This won't make you any cleaner, from that bloody water, but it will keep you nice and warm."

Sjaak smiled, put the placenta in the bowl Margreet brought upstairs and grabbed the shower head. He let the water warm up near Lisa's feet for a moment and let the water run over the baby's body with a gentle stream. With his free hand, he rubbed it gently.

Margreet was already standing next to him with a bath towel. Sjaak hung up the shower head and stretched out his hands to the baby as he looked at Lisa. "Shall I take over William and go get dressed?"

Lisa nodded, grabbed William under his armpits and put him in the towel, which Margreet tried to keep out of the water. Sjaak went with him to the nursery, laid him on the dresser and started drying him with a thin cloth.

"William..." said Margreet softly. "What a beautiful name!"

"That came from a film about a brave warrior called that, a man who led his fellow citizens, to protect them. He was brave, determined, and above all, a protector. That's also the meaning of that name, but I didn't know that at the time. We both immediately felt when we saw that man in the film that our baby would be called that too: William. I have no idea who and how he will protect, maybe no one, but the name just seemed right for him."

Margreet nodded: "It feels right to me too, somehow he's just a William. It suits him..."

"Glad you feel the same way," Lisa smiled. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Would you grab me a long shirt from the wardrobe in the bedroom? They are folded on the top shelf. Oh, and pants and maternity pads... darn, didn't think about it at all!"

Margreet laughed: "You had something else to think about! You go take a shower in peace, I'll get your stuff!"

Grinning, she walked to the bedroom, looked up what Lisa needed and went to her. "Look, a dry towel, and here your clothes." Margreet put them on a cabinet next to the sink. "Can you manage by yourself? Or do you need help?"

"Actually, now that I'm standing, It disappoints me a bit. I think I can do it myself, but would you like to stay with me in case I don't manage? I feel quite a bit wobbly, shaky. Oh, I feel so silly, but I would still actually like you to dry me off and dress me. Are you up for that?"

"Of course, we'll just do it together. You've had a best dose of tension and a big job, Lisa, don't forget that!"

"But then you, did Huib help you?" asked Lisa.

"No, but I didn't have that tension with it, I was incredibly relaxed. It seemed to happen naturally. I think with you your inner wounds from all that abuse still got in the way."

"I guess so, Sjaak said something like that this morning too," Lisa said, and as Margreet helped her, she recounted the bad dream she had had. "I was already so scared during breakfast, really horrible! Then, of course, I had already gone through a bit of a process. I noticed during labour that I still suffered from anxiety, at first, but it was already not as bad as after that dream."

"Perfect timing from your soul to let you go through that deeply just before giving birth," Margreet thought. "I guess that meant you were less bothered when labour started."

"Yes, and because you together were radiating incredibly, I was able to experience your strength so much. Really super nice! So, thank you, shall we go and see my guys?"

Lisa put her arm through Margreet's arm just to be sure and walked with her to the bedroom, where she heard Sjaak talking to William.

"Oh, my men! Did it go well, dressing him?"

"Yes, bit difficult with those little arms. So I screwed them off for a while and later screwed them back in. He's fine in his clothes now."

"Sjaak! You really are crazy! Who talks about his newborn baby like that?"

"I did...," he said with a mischievous snout.

Unnoticed, Margreet squeaked out of the bedroom. Downstairs, she hugged Huib: "It went well, a little boy, William."

Huib pulled her tightly against him: "Did it go as smoothly as with you?"

Margreet shook her head: "No, she had had a nightmare last night about the abuse." Margreet told the story Lisa had confided in her. Huib's face contorted in horror. "But that did make her go through a piece of deep healing. She had a pretty tough time during breakfast, which she didn't eat. And at the beginning of labour, she was still tense, but already less than before. And she said she experienced very clearly the power of our soul. At the beginning, I was standing next to her, thinking, 'I wish I could ask Huib for a moment, what I should do.' And then I immediately got in my mind, that I..."

"... that you should put your hands on either side of her belly, to focus," Huib complemented. "That was what got into my mind when you were upstairs for not so long. Talk about soul connection..."

Sjaak appeared at the top of the stairs: "I just called Simon, they're coming this way. Are you coming upstairs too?"

Huib and Margreet ran up the stairs, followed a moment later by Annerieke and Simon. They all remained at the foot of the bed in amazement, except Simon. He sat down on Sjaak's half of the bed and bowed to Lisa. He put his large working hand on her shoulder, looked her straight in her eyes and said with tears in his eyes, "Brave woman, how incredibly proud I am of you!"

On impulse, Lisa took William and reached over to Simon, who took him in his arms in amazement. He looked from William to Lisa, grinned: "Thank you for this asset to our family. What a beautiful little fellow..."

Annerieke sat down next to him, put her hand on Simon's shoulder. "What riches, Simon... Sjaak, Lisa, what riches, he is so beautiful! Are you doing well yourself?"

"Yes, I am now, it was tough for a while at the beginning, due to tension, but Sjaak and Margreet helped me tremendously. They were real jet engines! In the end William came quite smoothly, of course I had to push, but that last part of the labour was not too bad for me, it just went very naturally."

Of course, she had to explain what she meant by jet engines, that inner power that meant she didn't have to do it alone. She told how Margreet had helped William get going for a while and that he had already been drinking.

"And do you know what's so special? I really feel like a mother! Do you, Sjaak?"

"I don't! Absolutely not! But I do feel like a father, though..." He bent down to kiss Lisa and teasingly patted her cheek.

"Amazing woman, fantastic mother, I love you!"

To chapter 41. Desires of Koos and Olivia

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