Sjaak had gone to his cottage for a while. He made a cup of coffee and plopped down in his easy chair. It had taken him completely by surprise, that innocent remark about meeting the right woman. He knew very well that Margreet had only teased him a little bit, with a remark she had got from himself. But it had affected him so much that he had immediately been completely upset.

The right woman... Lisa... he had known it, just like that, very deep down inside. She was that woman, the woman he had been waiting for. But she hadn't even been divorced yet and she had been treated like a doormat and a sex slave! Goodness, what was he supposed to do with that? How was he supposed to behave toward Lisa? What was he supposed to say?

Nothing, nothing in particular, he decided, he just had to try to act as normal as possible, so she wouldn't notice anything. Exactly, that just wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't allowed to notice.

Actually, he had to confess to himself, it made him distraught. It felt so double, so impossible. Somewhere, deep down he knew that she was the right woman, that she was the woman who belonged to him. He had suddenly experienced that click in his insides, but otherwise he felt nothing at all for her, didn't feel in love or anything. That wasn't right then, was it?

Damn it! With a bang he put his empty mug on the table. How does that work? Falling in love, starting to love someone... what could he do with it? He couldn't generate that, something like that, could he? And then something else: if that did happen, if he did fall in love... what did he know about it? Nothing! He felt incredibly stupid and awkward, and he bummed that this was coming his way just now, just now he was starting to feel comfortable in the guest house family!

He started pacing around his living room, contemplating how to act. Suddenly he paused: actually, it wasn't that complicated at all. After all, he wasn't fallen in love at all, he didn't feel butterflies in his stomach, no, he didn't love her. He didn't even know if he liked her yet. She seemed nice, but that's all he knew actually. So... if his heart wasn't racing for her, he could act like he would otherwise. It had to be that simple, after all.

He stopped his pacing at the entrance to his bedroom. His house was small, only one floor now. The room he was standing in now was his bedroom, but his piano was also there. It was actually strange, that piano opposite his bed, next to his wardrobe, but it had simply been the best solution for him as a bachelor. If a second floor were to be built on top of his house, he could sleep upstairs, together with... No! Don't think about it yet, it doesn't make sense. Sleeping with Lisa, and then also… with her... terrible, he knew nothing about that either, and she already had so much experience with it. A bad experience, yes, but he had no experience at all, knew nothing about it. He didn't even know how he could give her a bad or a good experience.

Sjaak sighed deeply and rubbed his hand through his hair, as he often did when something made him nervous.

Yet the renovation began to impose itself on him, to take shape in his mind. He envisioned it where the stairs should come. He looked at the ceiling: there was the bedroom, and opposite that, two more rooms, and there, above the toilet the bathroom, with a shower... or a bath... Now that he still lived alone, he made it himself quite easy. A bath and a shower didn't interest him one bit, he washed himself at the sink in the scullery. In the winter it was very cold, but that didn't bother him either.

His thoughts went further: they could even build an attic room on it, for if they were to have multiple children.

Children! Why did his thoughts run away with him like that? He didn't want this, he didn't want his thoughts to go towards Lisa....

He sat down behind the piano, opened the piano cover and started to play. Playing the piano had always been his outlet when he was confused or frustrated, or was messed up with himself in any way.

He started quietly, not knowing which way he wanted to go. A rippling melody in minor... Suddenly he broke off and switched to major, turning the rippling melody into a joyful river. He had his eyes closed, saw a peaceful flowing river between the mountains. The water meandered down between the mountains. He finished with a slight delay and totally unexpectedly, it surprised him too, he started a jubilant melody. A festive piece of music reverberated through his cottage.

Even outside it could be heard. Outside, where Huib and Margreet were walking home at that moment.

They looked at each other. "He sure is incredibly cheerful right now," Huib said. "Could it be he has discovered something?" He grinned triumphantly, "You see, so cool, so it's right!"

Margreet laughed: "Maybe you should wait and see, don’t jump into that conclusion young man!"

To chapter 58. Cees and Sita

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