Uncertainly she sat down next to him, fully dressed, but with her hair still loose. The elastic she had removed from her ponytail was still on her wrist.

"Why Sjaak? Why?"

Sjaak put his arm around her shoulders and smiled at her. "That's what I actually wanted to ask you. Why did you do this?"

"Do you think it was wrong?"

"Oh sweetheart, it's not about right or wrong, but I wonder how you get there to offer yourself to me like that."

Lisa thought about it. Actually she didn't feel like talking about Henk, but this had everything to do with Henk. She sighed deeply and began to tell her story

.

"When I met Henk, I was just shy and insecure. He said that was exactly what he liked about me. I had no idea about the sexual side of a relationship, no more than I had seen in movies. I had been looking forward to experiencing something like that, even before I knew him. Just curious, it had to be great. Just look at movies, they enjoy, it just radiates from them.

Well, then Henk and I had our first time... He told me to undress. I did, while he was undressing too. I lay down on the bed, which seemed the most logical thing to do, and watched expectantly as he came towards me. He stared at my breasts, grabbed them, but immediately released them. "What little ones..." I heard him mutter. I thought that was rotten, he thought they were too small..."

Until then she had been looking at her wringing hands while talking. Now she looked at Sjaak: "Did you think so too? Did you think they were too small? They're not big, I know, but they do fine for sex, I'll tell you that in a minute. But what did you think of my breasts?"

Sjaak sighed softly and smiled at her, "I thought they were beautiful, I thought you were shockingly beautiful in your entirety. I'll tell you honestly, as an adolescent I did see pictures and videos of naked women, or scantily clad women. And then I wondered why it is that mainly women with overflowing bosoms get themselves to be photographed or filmed like that. And I read with amazement that women had their breasts filled with silicone. That would be more attractive. I was disgusted by that, even as an adolescent. Even though I had absolutely no understanding of dealing with women, certainly not sexually, I couldn't imagine that my heart could ever go out to something like that. I mean, that I could be purely focused on big, full breasts. I decided as an adolescent that I didn't want to look at women that way. And that's been hard, because you come across pictures and videos like that everywhere, even when you're totally oblivious to them.

A few years later, I was barely an adult, I was at a party... There were a few young women there, all with those full breasts. They were former classmates. At school that little group had always bothered me with their bullying. At that party they came up to me together, tried to lure me into their tent with the help of their breasts. They had on those dresses, with a push-up and between their breasts open to their belly button. Almost half of their breasts were visible, but I didn't want to look at them. I forced myself to look at their eyes. One of them walked right up to me in such a swinging way, came to stand right in front of me and looked at me sternly. I blocked by her gaze, otherwise I would have turned around and walked away. The moment she was in front of me, still looking at me, she suddenly grabbed both my hands, and in an instant she made my hands pull both those flaps of fabric off her breasts. In a flash I looked at them, then they disappeared under my hands. Not that I did that myself, she just pushed my hands on them! There was giggling all around me; those other women had all come to stand around us. "Me too, I want that too," one of those other women said. And before I knew it, they were pulling me into a room next door. Lisa, I'm not a weak guy, but I couldn't stand up to six inciting women. They held me, pulled me along. No, I didn't have sex with them, but they all pulled open their dresses, took the fabric off their shoulders, and stood in front of me in their bare upper bodies, in a semi-circle, with their backs to the door. There was no way I could go. And as if that wasn't enough, they slowly approached me. I stepped back, but couldn't go beyond the wall. I just couldn't get away, couldn't escape. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they were coming towards me, closer and closer. Damn, it's still giving me the creeps! I've never told anyone this either, but I want you to know, I want you to know what happened to me and what it did to me and still does to me. One woman yanked open my blouse, the buttons flying across the room. She pressed her breasts against me, pushed against my lower body. And you know, right through my resolve, I'm just not made of steel either, so yeah, I got excited. She grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head down, I remember it exactly. She pushed her breast into my mouth and hissed, "Suck, lick, come on Sjaak, make me hot!" The other women came closer too, pressing together. They grabbed my hands and let them stroke over their breasts. I thought I was going crazy, so cornered, unable to resist! And my body, which was getting more and more aroused... I was scared, really scared! I didn't want to lose myself to these women!

At that moment, the door opened and the friend of the woman who had pushed her breast into my mouth appeared. He was furious! At first I thought he was angry with me, but he was well aware that I was not standing there voluntarily. He chased those women apart, who quickly covered their breasts again, and ordered them to go back into the hall. For a moment he looked at me with contempt, then turned around and disappeared. How I got out of that hall with my tattered blouse, I don't remember. Just walk, get out, and never go to a party like that again!

That was my experience with big breasts, Lisa. And when I saw you so naked, that memory came up. I saw you, wonderfully beautiful and so sweet, but I didn't want to see you as a woman presenting herself to me like that. It just felt nasty, it felt wrong... no, hush," he soothed when she looked at him anxiously, "I don't blame you for anything. There must have been something in your life that led you down a path that didn't suit you. And I do want to hear from you very much how you got to this point, what your experiences have been like."

"Okay... I think I understand. I'll try to tell you."

Lisa tried her best to push her feelings away, so that she would only tell the facts, but soon found out that she could not. Her feelings, her wounded feelings were inextricably linked to those facts.

"So Henk, he found my breasts too small, and released them. He took his penis in his hand, and made sure it was well firm and thick. Then he pushed my legs aside and thrust into me. Just like that, in one go, in and rock hard through, as far as he could go. I was still a virgin, I knew it might hurt the first time, but I didn't know it could be that bad, I wasn't prepared for that. By now I understood a little bit why it hurt so much. In the first place, I was dry underneath, between my labia, yes sorry, I'm just calling everything by its name. I had already expected pain with that hymen, and then also such an unexpected thump because he thrust so hard. Three enormous cramps of pain right after each other. For a moment I screamed out loud. That made him so angry that he only started thrusting harder. I screamed for him to stop, that this hurt, but he continued until he cummed. Then he shot off of me. I heard him say "worthless bitch," but he denied it when I asked him why he called me that.

Still, he continued to be very sweet to me, sweet and friendly. But every day there were a few times when he would party, then he would stick it in again, so to speak. He said he did it because he loved me so much, but that he found it difficult that I did not take the initiative to come. He wanted to help me with it, but didn't know how at that time.

A few days later he came to me beaming. He had figured out how to help me, had bought a few things for it. He gave me a box that he had wrapped as a gift. In the box I first saw a piece of cloth, according to him a blindfold. Further, I saw a piece of cloth and a little ball, which were for my mouth, he said. And a little whip, four handcuffs and two silver balls connected by a small chain. And three little clothespins with little balls attached to them, also silver, they looked nice too, although I didn't understand the purpose of them. And a thick kind of pen. I didn't know the thing, didn't know anything about it at the time. I didn't understand anything about the whole package anyway, not even how he wanted to use it all. He said he had spent a capital, for me, because he loved me and wanted to help me with our sex, so that I would love it too. He called it BDSM. Have you ever heard of BDSM?" She didn't wait for a response, nor did she see that he was nodding, and that he was afraid of what else she had to say.

"I had to undress again. He put the little ball in my mouth, commanded me to keep it in my mouth, and then put a piece of cloth over it that he tied in my neck. So I couldn't push that little ball out of my mouth anymore, so I couldn't talk. He put the blindfold on me. I tried to protest, but of course I could not because of the ball in my mouth. He said that he understood that I didn't like it yet, but that it would help me to get excited more easily.

Then I had to lie down on the bed, on my belly. He started stroking the little whip over my back, and over my buttocks, over my legs. It tickled. I remember, I still liked that, giggling and wiggling, but then he really started using it as a whip. Especially on my buttocks, first gentle taps, then increasingly vicious ones in between. The first time he hit harder, a cry escaped my throat and I tried to turn around, but he held me in place with his free hand.

He commanded me to remain silent, his treatment would make me the most fiery woman in the country, he promised, he knew I would be the best for him. We would have the best sex we could imagine. He whispered some sweet words in my ears, and asked if I understood, that I would have to cooperate properly. Surely I wasn't too weak or too scared for that? Surely I wanted to become the best for him? The woman he would be super proud of for having the best sex with?

At that moment, a button flipped in me. I decided I had to go along with it to become that best woman for him. In my own way, I loved him, and I wanted to do everything for him, even when it hurt and I didn't understand it all. It was going to be okay, I was going to have the best sex with him. And so I went all the way.

He slapped my buttocks red, not really broken, but red. He tickled and whipped the soles of my feet, my calves and thighs. He commanded me to spread my legs wide, which I did immediately. He tickled with the whip over my pubic area and my buttocks. Time after time, I can still feel it and see it in front of me. I felt how excited I became. He said that he had read on the website that I must be hot and wet by now. He felt with his hand in my pubic area, in my vagina, but it was not yet what he had imagined. He stroked there a few more times, and then let the whip tap again, harder and harder. I felt it working, right through the pain, so I was willing to put up with the pain, I was getting more and more excited!

I had to turn on my back, arms and legs wide. He attached my wrists and ankles to the bed with the handcuffs. There I was, naked, with arms and legs wide, and helpless, I had nowhere to go. And I didn't want to anymore, I wanted to keep going, this would help me, and I held on to the goal. I was only afraid of what else he was going to do, though, but again, I was sure it would help me become the best. He would make me fiery, more fiery than any other woman, fiery for him. He stroked and hit me with the little whip across my belly and my legs, caressing and slapping, sometimes gently, sometimes fierce, viciously.

Then he went to my breasts with it. He made the strings spin around over the bulges of my breasts, caressing. I remember hearing him say, that now he had to aim well, not at my nipples yet, everything step by step according to plan. And he tapped and slapped with the little whip on the bulges of my breasts, again and again. Later it turned out that my breasts had turned fire-red.

Then he stroked my nipples with it. I felt the reaction from below, more excitement. I started breathing differently, and he heard that. He saw that I was starting to move a little, from below, and I could just hear the grin in his voice when he said, "Good for you Lisa, you see you can do it. You, you will become the most fiery woman in the land, I will make you that, I promise you!"

He stroked my nipples again with the whip, and it felt wonderful. Then the first tap came, a gentle one. Another one at the other nipple. I immediately responded more violently from below. The next taps got more and more intense, until I thought I was going crazy. I squirmed with excitement, driving away the feeling of pain and fear. He felt with his finger between my labia. He praised me, I was well hot and wet, he said, just a little more and then the party could explode, then he would show me the tops. Whatever that would be, I had no idea.

He stroked and tapped again with the little whip on my nipples, and then on my labia. Those fierce taps were painful, but the effect was so wonderful, I forgot the pain. Then I heard him say it was time for the vibrator. I wanted to ask what that was, but of course I couldn't. Later I understood that was that thick pen. It worked on a battery that he had already charged. I heard how he turned it on, a click and a soft buzzing sound. He pushed it between my labia, making that thing vibrate across my clitoris. Because I had already become so aroused a few times, this time it was going fast too. I squirmed and moaned, as far as all that was possible. Of course I couldn't roll over the bed, I was tied up. Suddenly my body stiffened and then suddenly I burst into jerks. He kept stimulating my clit with that thing, to drive me crazy. Yes, that first time I really thought I was going crazy. As I got more used to it, I loved it.

He stopped the vibrator, waited for my body to calm down a little, and started stroking it again with the little whip. I wondered when he was going to thrust himself into me, I had no idea, that this was just the beginning.

He wanted more, he wanted me to be over the top, he said. He grabbed my breast. He called him little bitch, said he would teach it to do what it had to do, also my breasts would be totally awesome. I felt something really mean peg my nipple, it really hurt for a moment. I felt little things moving around my areola. I understood that this had to be one of those pegs with the little balls. He attached the second one to my other nipple. I found it scary, didn't dare move. As long as I lay still, it bothered me the least. As soon as I moved, those little balls started moving and pulling on the pegs. That hurt my nipples, but... it also caused a violent reaction in my pubic area. What a story, but it is far from finished!

I knew he had bought three of those pegs and I wondered where he would attach the third one. I had an inkling, but couldn't imagine that being doable, that would be too bad. He wasn't using it yet. He started using the whip again, stroking and tapping. You can't imagine how that turned me on. I started panting and squirming, unbelievable. And then all of a sudden, then he parted my labia and put the little squeeze on my clit. The little balls tapped around it. And he just stroked and tapped with that little whip. The three pegs with their balls were doing their job. They wiggled at my nipples and clit like it was a dream. Yes, sounds crazy, I know, that first time was mostly pain at first, but the transition to lust was a sweet one. I remember that first time so well. My whole body started tingling, vibrating, again. And then I heard him turn the vibrator back on. I thought he wouldn't be able to do anything with it now anyway, because of that little peg there. But he knew exactly what to do. He pushed it between the balls and made that thing vibrate right under the peg. Slowly at first, making the peg vibrate softly too. Together with that peg, the vibrator did its job. Then up one level, and one more, until I was rolling over the top. I shook and thought I would never calm down again. He didn't even bother to take the peg off my clit. He just continued with the vibrator for a while, but tossed it aside as he entered me. Slowly, treacherously slowly. I could hear how my violent shocks excited him immensely. He gasped and moaned. He chased me to the top again, moving my breasts so that the balls there again set the pegs more in motion. I didn't get a chance to settle down. He kept moving my breasts, moving very slowly up and down inside me, until he almost cummed himself, I could hear it in his breath. Then he thrust on and on and on. He moaned and said the craziest things. He just kept going, he was crazy. Later he said that because of me he had had a stiffen one for a very long time before he finished and even after, in me, and that I had given him the best. Sex had never been so great for him. He just cheered, thought I was a top bitch. And I was so happy, exhausted, but so happy. I had done it.

Goal achieved, I thought. But it wasn't, it was just the beginning. He wanted more, to have a stiffen one in me even longer, to get even more aroused, even more more more more. And he said, he knew he would get it done with me. He could do it, and I could do it, he was sure of that."

For a moment she was silent. She saw that Sjaak was looking at her, that tears were running down his cheeks, and asked him in surprise, "Why are you crying? Are you so moved? So proud of me?"

"No, that's not what it is about," Sjaak replied, wiping away his tears. "I know you were proud, that you were happy at that moment. But I... I'm sad, I feel your pain. And yes, you can say it was wonderful in the end, and I'm willing to believe that too, but deep down I feel the pain of your oppression, of the abuse you went through, because really Lisa, this really has nothing at all... really nothing at all... to do with love. This is some kind of cruel game, with which he could satisfy his own lust. It wasn't about you, it was about himself."

To chapter 89. Abused as a prostitute

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