While Margreet and Lisa were busy in one of the bathrooms, there was a knock at the door. Rachel, the mother of Tanja and Nancy, stood shyly in the doorway.

"Good morning," Margreet greeted her, "do you want to ask something?"

"Yes, to Lisa...do you have a moment later? Can I talk to you for a minute, about the paper, the front page?"

"Yes, you can, I have the rest of the morning free. Will you come to our house then?" asked Lisa.

Rachel nodded, "That's fine. That's the house that's a little more to the left of the estate, right? The one that just had a new floor put on it?"

"Exactly that one yes!"

"About what time?"

Margreet intervened, "Lisa, you can go now, we're almost done anyway. I'll do the last bit."

"Fine, thank you," Lisa replied as she put her hand on her friend's shoulder for a moment. She dried her hands and walked with Rachel to her house.

.

As Lisa made coffee for them both, Rachel sat down on the couch, tense, nervously rubbing her fingers together. She looked up when Lisa arrived with a tray. Lisa set it down on the table and picked up the mugs from it. "Get your own milk and sugar, if you like?"

Rachel nodded, and put a little sugar in her mug, while Lisa sat down in the other corner of the couch. She sat down at a slight angle, so she could watch and listen to Rachel more easily.

"It was because of that newspaper, that article about you. We knew all of you had to go to court and this morning it was all over the front page. Robert read it after breakfast, and gave the paper to me. I looked at it fleetingly at first, I can still feel it, how my eyes flitted back and forth over the page. I didn't really dare to read it, but when I did, I couldn't stop. I really read every word, really every word. So I'm not the only one, I just never reported it myself..."

Lisa nodded, understanding, and cautiously asked, "Will you tell me your story?"

Rachel nodded and told of her adolescence. It was her own father, who when she was fifteen, took her to his office, where he appeared to have a secret room. Rachel had asked what was behind that door, if there was another office behind it. Very kindly he had told her, that it was a different kind of room, that it was his own special room, where he could relax while working. He had only recently had that room, Rachel was the first to be allowed to look into it. When they had entered it, the door had fallen in behind them and her father had then locked it with a hook at the top. She had found that strange, but hadn't thought anything of it. She had been surprised by the beautiful bed, by the things hanging on the wall. She had quietly walked around to look at everything. Her father, meanwhile, had put on some quiet music.

"I asked him questions about various things he had there. He smiled kindly and told me I could try each one. He would teach me. It turned out later, that of course I wasn't allowed to try anything, but that he was going to try them on me. He hugged me and said he loved me so much. I remember so well that I thought it was strange that he pushed against me with his lower body like that and that he put his one hand on my buttocks and pressed me against his lower body. I tried to protest, but he said, now that I was already so big, I needed to learn something important.

He walked over to a closet and grabbed some stuff. He told me that it was important, that I obey him. For the effect, he said. I didn't understand any of it, I knew nothing about BDSM.

He put a blindfold on me and a ball in my mouth with a cloth over it. I could see nothing and say nothing. While he was doing that, he said that would only make me enjoy the game more. He laid me on the bed, and began to stroke me. For a moment it still seemed innocent, him saying sweet words as he stroked my face. But his hands went down, you know. He began to undress me.

I was to the point then, that I didn't like his game for a long time! But I couldn't do much, because as soon as I tried to free my eyes and mouth, he grabbed my wrists and said very calmly, and especially very dominantly, that he had told me, that I did had to obey, again... for effect.

When I was completely naked, he secured me with cuffs on my wrists and ankles. He used his toys to make me submissive and make me cum a few times. I had satisfied myself before, but I had never experienced such intense reactions as I did then. It was so double, it was terribly nasty, but also wonderful, the sexual stimulation, the violent orgasms. Even that first time, when he suddenly entered me... that was just as horrible, but at the same time so intense.

And as he finished inside me, he whispered, "You are that special to me. I wouldn't want to do this with any other woman." He called me beautiful, so beautiful, and gently bit my nipples. He promised me that he would make me an expert. He made me promise not to talk to anyone about this, and to come to his office every day after school. We would practice, just until I was truly expert.

Apparently I soon was, because after a few days another man appeared to be waiting for me in that room. I noticed from their brief conversation that this man had no understanding of BDSM. My father showed him how to lead me to the peaks and then gave the other man the power of attorney to work with me. Since then he had a different client for me almost every day. And if there was no client, he said he thought that was great for once, because then we could enjoy ourselves together. By the way, he almost always took me again after a client too....

It lasted a few months, then I collapsed at school and was taken to the hospital. The doctor saw signs of abuse and called the police. My father then went to jail, and I was able to move on with my life. I did have therapy, for months, but never felt truly free again. I was broken, simply broken!

Robert, my husband, is really very sweet to me. He quickly realized that sexuality was a disaster for me, and has helped me by never crossing my boundaries. He loved me, by caressing and kissing me, but we never got beyond that. And even if stroking and kissing was too much, it was no problem for him. Then he just took me in his arms and made me feel safe and relaxed.

Tanja and Nancy are Robert's daughters from his first marriage. Their mother died when Nancy was a baby. The girls have only recently known, that I am not their biological mother. Tanja and Nancy have no memory at all of their real mother.

To be honest, when Robert told them that, I realized how real I felt about being their mother. For a moment I was very afraid they would reject me, despise me. But the opposite happened: they flew around my neck, they were so happy that their dad had married me. They assured me, I was their mother. So there seemed to be no problem.

But they also started asking me why they hadn't gotten a little brother or sister. This caused all the shit from the abuse to come back to me in violent fits. The past few weeks I have cried as if my life depended on it. That's why Robert wanted to vacation here, and not in a cottage. He wanted me to have the opportunity to relax completely and he wanted to be there for me all the time.

The girls hated it, but thankfully their first day went so well, that they are now completely happy to be vacationing here."

Rachel smiled. "You guys are great for them together, we're really happy about that. It's so nice to hear from them, how you treat them. They feel like they're taken seriously, think they're complete adults by now! They really are beautiful girls..."

Rachel stared ahead for a moment. "And then the paper came this morning, with that article about you. And I so wanted to share my story with you for a moment, with a woman who had gone through pretty much the same thing. Didn't it bother you?"

"No, and yes... actually both. Yes, because I feel terrible that I'm not the only one who has gone through this shit. This is so awful, you don't wish this on any woman. And no, because for myself, I was not at all bothered that you shared your experiences with me. I think in some way it does us both good. We are not alone. Do I understand correctly that you told Robert everything?"

Rachel smiled, "Yes, very soon, when we were getting to know each other, and at first I thought it was even scary that he would kiss me. Then I only vaguely told him that I had been abused. Since then, he never kissed me on my mouth by himself, but on my cheek or on my hands. He gave me the freedom to take the initiative to kiss him on the mouth, if I dared and wanted to. That's different now though, he can just kiss me now." Rachel chuckled.

"When our relationship got really serious, I told him everything one night. He cried Lisa, he so cried, for my pain. I didn't know what hit me! But precisely because of that, I knew that not only did I want to continue with him, but that I could do it, that I dared to. I decided that I would also give myself completely to him physically once we were married. But I never did, and I still find that miserable."

Lisa nodded: "I understand how that feels. I succeeded once, and that one time I was able to experience what it is like to be loved so intensely physically. But after that I only suffered from blockages. Sjaak is very patient with me, he has also cried about my pain. He wants us to take the time together that I need to heal from all this misery.

What he advises me over and over again, and what is also promoted here throughout the family, is as simple as it is violently difficult:

.

When you are touched in your pain,

when your emotions form a ball in your stomach...

accept it, and go right through it!

And if it gets too hard,

you can't hold on,

find some distraction in something you enjoy.

.

And that's what I would like to give you as well. Crying is not wrong, on the contrary. When it comes, it comes. You will experience moments of pain and sadness, or of other emotions, which you can go through in silence. Sometimes it will hurt terribly, even physically. I have experienced it a few times now when I felt the physical pain of rape, or a sting in my pubic area.

I talked to Sjaak about that once. He listened to his inner voice and confirmed what I already knew: at such a moment a piece of healing takes place.

For myself I am sure that a time will come when I will be completely free to give myself completely to Sjaak. And I am sure that this will also happen between you and Robert. You will enjoy yourselves together, amazed that there is also so much more between you physically than you could have imagined!"

"Do you really think so?" Rachel's voice sounded desperate, but Lisa saw hope in her eyes.

She nodded, "I'm sure of it. It really only takes one thing, complete emotional healing. And that comes from within, through the power of your soul."

"Only from my own soul?" asked Rachel in surprise.

"Nice of you to ask, as I have been feeling a strange tingling in my legs and my lower abdomen since you came to me. Sjaak did tell me once, that those pieces of my soul that are healed will start radiating the power of my soul to other people, especially to people who have the same kind of wounds. So right now, the power of my soul is also flowing to your soul, so they can join forces to heal your wounds!"

"How extraordinary... and if I heal, will my soul do the same to other people, do you think?"

Lisa nodded brightly, "Just until everyone is completely healed and has become who they already are inside, in the soul!"

"I've never heard of that before, but somewhere I feel it's true. And that gives me hope. For you know... all of that comes from this, too... I'm scared of Tanja and Nancy now, too. Here on the estate I experience that they are safe, but because they are so open to other people, they can also be easily grazed."

Lisa thought for a moment. She wondered, what Rachel might do, and said it honestly, "I'm sitting here thinking, whether you should do something, warn them, tell your own story. I don't really know, I don't know if there's anything specific you can do right now. Whether you can do anything more than always be there for them, so they know that they can come to you with anything, no matter what. Even then... perpetrators can frame a girl or woman in this way, so insidiously, so gradually... It actually feels quite hopeless and helpless.

On the other hand, I know from Johan, the judge, that he hears rumors from all over the world about people who go through emotional shit and feel a lot better about themselves as a result. He hears that from people who are in prisons, but also from all kinds of other people. I want to start monitoring it myself in the media, and especially on social media, to see if I can detect signs like that. I actually believe it's true. Because if Sjaak's soul radiates power to me to help me heal, and my soul radiates such power to you, it goes all over the world. I wonder, what the world will be like when everyone is really completely healed!"

"That must be something very miraculously beautiful!" smiled Rachel.

To chapter 222. The day can't go wrong anymore!

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