While Julian played in the playpen and Karel and Bianca prepared a simple meal together, a salad with macaroni, mixed legumes and grated cheese, Karel received a message from his mother. 'We are already on the road, the roads are quiet so far. If things keep going this way, we'll be with you around five o'clock'

"Around five o'clock? That's already in fifteen minutes! I usually close my office around five... well, we're home, so let them come!"

As Bianca spread the grated cheese over the salad, the salad they had divided into a large, shallow bowl, Karel from behind put his arms around her and kissed her on the neck.

"My darling, my everything, my life... that's you!" he whispered between kisses. He moved next to her again, grabbed her by her chin and turned her face towards him. He looked at her penetratingly: "That's you, my darling, my everything, my life!"

At that moment, the bell rang. "You just go open the door, I need to wash my hands," Bianca said in a voice in which the tension was audible.

Karel gave her another quick kiss and walked to the front door, looked after by Julian, who was too surprised to comment.

Karel was happy to see his parents again, and it was abundantly clear that the feeling was mutual. The cheerful greetings echoed even into the kitchen, where Bianca hesitated, not yet daring to emerge.

She heard how his father entered the room first, discovering Julian.

"Now look! You already have a visit from a beautiful young man! Hey guy, what's your name?"

"Juja," Julian replied, momentarily puzzled, but when he heard Karel's voice calling him Julian, he began, in his own way, to deliver a whole story to Karel's father, looking at him radiantly. For a moment he interrupted himself, when he discovered Karel's mother.

"Juja out!" he shouted, extending his arms to the unknown woman. She was already extending her arms to the little boy and taking him out of the playpen.

"Julian? So your name is Julian... and are you visiting Karel?"

"Kade yes!" he responded happily. "Kade sweet! Banka sweet!" he complemented.

"Kade? Karel? And who is Banka then?"

"Banka da!" pointed Julian towards the kitchen, where Bianca emerged hesitantly. Karel walked towards her with large strides, putting his arm around her.

"This is Bianca, the love of my life. And no Jacqueline, I didn't look for her, and yes, she was nearby, on the outskirts of the village. I met her at friends at the guesthouse there, and I knew I had known her for ages... Bianca, may I introduce you to my parents, Jacqueline and Maurice!"

Jacqueline, with Julian on her arm walked up to her, put a hand on her shoulder and said with tears in her eyes, "Thank you, Bianca, for making our son so happy!"

Bianca looked at her in surprise; she certainly did not expect such a welcome.

"My mother feels things, remember?" said Karel right next to her.

"Oh yes, definitely," Jacqueline responded, "and I now feel without a doubt that you are the one I knew would be somewhere near this house, and that Karel would run into you. My soul does not deceive me, it shows."

Bianca smiled, "Thank you, I understand you mean it, I really believe you, but..."

"... you still feel moderately insecure about it," Jacqueline complemented. "That's not so strange after what you've been through. No, I'm not clairvoyant, I don't know what happened, but I do feel that someone has given you a big crunch. Probably several people did... You are in good hands with Karel, he feels things almost as well as I do and will surely take your feelings into account. Right Karel?" she asked him emphatically.

Karel grinned: " That's the way she always does, when she wants to point me in the right direction," he said to Bianca, and to his mother: "No need, you raised me well, so I know not to waltz over the boundaries of this sweetheart. That would only destroy her more, and I am just so longing for her to heal completely from all the shit, and blossom fully!"

"That's the way I wanna hear it," came Maurice's low voice. "And now it's my turn for a moment, Bianca." He gave her a kiss on both cheeks. "Welcome to our family, and thank you for this wonderful addition, what a beautiful little fellow! Yes you, Julian!"

Bianca was unable to say anything. This reaction was so opposite to her own parents' reaction... Joy about her little son!

Karel saw how she barely managed to keep her tears inside and pulled her against him, laid her head against his shoulder and stroked her hair. Just as a result, the dams broke, and tears streamed down her face. Above her head, Karel winked at his parents with a smile, nodded towards the garden.

"Are you coming Julian? Then we'll sit in the garden for sure," Jacqueline said.

"Banka cy..." said Julian a little embarrassed, as she took him on her lap outside.

"Yes, Bianca has to cry, but that doesn't matter, it's good for her. Tears rinse you clean inside."

"Sowe?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes," Jacqueline smiled, as her whole face began to glow, "yes, like a shower!"

Julian looked at the garden door a moment later, where he saw Bianca coming out. "Banka sowe!"

Jacqueline burst out laughing and explained to her how he got the idea that she had showered. Bianca laughed a little and apologised for not being able to respond to them normally. Jacqueline patted the empty seat next to her with her hand: "You come and sit here. I just want to tell you one thing, which is that you reacted in the most normal way possible for you at that moment. That you might have wanted it to be different, neat, good, nice and all, fine, but that's not how we are put together, Bianca. I suspect you had turned off your inner shower for far too long."

Bianca nodded, "Yes, that's right, crying is failure, crying is weak..."

"And thus you were never able to discover the power of your tears. How do you feel now?"

"I don't know exactly how to describe it, but at least better, a bit more relaxed."

"Nice, I'm happy about that! Karel, what do you think, do you still have coffee in that beautiful machine of yours?" she turned to her son with a grin.

"I thought you'd never ask!" he teased her back. "Are you all in the mood for coffee before we put the food on the table?"

Everyone nodded, as Julian called out, "Juja coffee!"

Bianca shot into laughter. "Later Julian, when your little body has grown a bit bigger."

Jacqueline looked mischievous as she whispered, "Can I let him have one sip of my coffee?"

Bianca chuckled, "Black?"

Jacqueline nodded.

"Try it, I'm curious..."

"Me too!"

"I think I have the best view of us all," came Maurice's low voice. "Two lovely women with a beautiful little man! How old is he now, Bianca?"

"A year and almost two months."

"And then already such a chatterbox... Julian, am I right in thinking that later on you're going to make a lot of people laugh with your jokes?"

"As a comedian or something like that?" asked Bianca.

"Yes, I got that in mind... does it seem like something you'd like?"

"I also got that in mind a few months back. He can tell whole stories in words that only he understands, and then in between he faints with laughter. So yes, I can see that for myself!"

Jacqueline nudged her: "Maurice also feels things well, but mainly gets impressions in words and images. That's really his strong side."

"You have that side yourself Jackie, it's just accent differences between us, you slightly more emphasis on feeling, I slightly more on words and images. And every now and then... you have as much of a flow of words as Julian. When your soul gets hold of it... We're lucky with all of this!"

Karel came out with mugs of coffee and a glass of water on the tray. He passed the mugs around and put the glass of water by Julian.

"Juja coffee too... Kade..."

Jacqueline burst out laughing, "Yes, Karel, how could you forget Julian!"

She shifted a bit and beckoned Bianca to follow her. "Then Karel can sit next to you. Karel, that water... is that just water or...?"

"No, lemon water. Julian had that this afternoon too. His first sip was great, he thought he could fill up with some nice water. When he had recovered from the shock, he took another small sip and then he continued in that calm manner, saying halfway through that it was nice water. I told him it was lemon water. I picked up the other half of the lemon, ran my finger along the pulp and let him lick it off. He nodded and said "lemotate". It took a while to figure out what he was saying. 'lemo' means lemon, 'tate' is water. So he said lemon water! He drank the whole glass at his leisure and declared again that it was delicious."

Maurice was visibly enjoying the story. "I just got the impression that he is a budding cabaret artist, and Bianca confirmed that, or I confirmed her, however you look at it. But so it's true, really comical!"

Jacqueline picked up her mug, carefully tasting the coffee.

"Still a bit hot," she said to Julian.

"Juja coffee too, Kade!"

"He can taste a sip of Jacqueline's in a moment," Jacqueline said to Karel.

"Tase Akkelie," Julian confirmed.

"Yes, taste from Jacqueline."

Maurice asked Karel about his work, whether things were still going well.

"Yes, quite so, the houses are not flying over the counter like hot cakes, but things are going well enough to make a pretty penny. I recently sold a beautiful large villa to two young women..." He told his parents the story of Katja and Maureen, how he had felt their fear and asked Huib to come along. "They know Huib, he belongs to Bloemenhof, where the guesthouse is where Bianca lives and works. At the back of that estate are four cottages, connected by a large communal living room. Women who have escaped sexual abuse can live there for as long as needed. And so those two women came from there. Huib was familiar, trusted, and he enjoyed going with them. Those women in that house there, it immediately felt right, like they belonged there. The house is incredibly big. Downstairs there is a large living room with spacious kitchen, to the left of it two large rooms and to the right of it as well. And two more bedrooms upstairs, almost all over the surface of the house. They decided to sleep upstairs and work downstairs. They are both artists, like Bianca, but all different. I don't remember exactly, but I believe one worked with broken glass and the other with candle wax. Bianca, do you have the gallery's website at hand?"

Bianca grabbed her mobile, clicked the site and looked up Katja.

"This is from Katja, she melts glass shards together with a soldering torch."

She let the different pictures go by, showing them.

"And these are Maureen's, figurines made of candle wax."

Maurice and Jacqueline watched breathlessly.

"How the hell do those girls manage that! Unbelievable!" exclaimed Maurice.

"Yes, really quite extraordinary..." sighed Jacqueline, "and they are selling their work, I see. That wedding dress made of candle wax hasn't sold yet..."

She looked at her husband with raised eyebrows, as if to ask something.

Maurice chuckled, "You mean that one appealed to you so much that you would want to buy it?"

"Yes, actually I do... just the price... it's absolutely worth it, so much comes out of it, and all those hours she must have put into it. Yes, it's definitely worth it! Shall we buy it, Maurice?"

He knew that look in her eyes, knew that she would never ask such a thing if her soul did not indicate it to her.

"I say do it!" he said very emphatically.

"Do it!" Julian called after him, looking at Jacqueline: "Do it!" and nodded very convincingly.

"We're going to do it! How does that work?" asked Jacqueline.

"Through the contact side, send an email to Ilse, who manages the website," Bianca explained. "In addition to the website, Ilse also takes care of correspondence and administration. She then arranges it further, with payment and collection of the figurine."

Maurice had also grabbed his mobile, searched the gallery with Bianca's instructions. "Okay, Maureen's wedding dress... just take over, with the number... contact page... order... yep, this is where I can put it."

He ordered the wedding dress, and reported that they were now with Karel Mulder, the real estate agent, and would return home on Monday afternoon. He got a quick reply back with an invoice and Maureen's email address. He decided to transfer the amount immediately and emailed Maureen to make an appointment.

"And you, Bianca, did I understand correctly that you are also an artist?" asked Maurice.

He clicked on 'Our artists' and discovered her name among them. "Doll's dresses, but not of the boring simple kind! Girl, what work, and what art! Wonderful! I see you've sold one... nice for you!"

Maurice showed the pictures to Jacqueline. "Oh... Bianca, that's real artwork! I mean, when I think of art I quickly think of paintings and sculptures, and not doll dresses, but this... this is overwhelming! But, you have two pictures on it now... haven't you started that long ago?"

Bianca wanted to answer, then felt something distinct, and decided to put it into words. "For a moment in a flash I experienced something... I wanted to defend myself in my answer to your question, because there are only two yet. And yes, I only discovered it when I started working at Bloemenhof. And I just have my job there, as well as caring for Julian, so I can't work on my hobby for roughly eight or ten hours. So I wanted to defend myself with that, but the moment I was about to say it, I suddenly felt, I don't need to defend myself. So what I just said was not a defence, it was just an explanation. And I think the fact that I suddenly felt I didn't have to defend myself is because of the way you accept me, just as I am. So I had to say that! I have now finished two dresses, and I started on my third the other day. Shall I get it?"

"Yes, please, I'm curious!" Jacqueline replied.

Bianca stood up and walked in.

"And Julian, do you want to come and sit with me in the meantime?" asked Maurice, "then we can have a man-to-man talk."

"Coffee!" responded Julian, remembering Jacqueline's promise.

"Oh yes, we'll let the coffee get almost cold. Just a taste though, to see if Karel can make good coffee. Oh yes, nice, and still warm enough!"

She held the mug out to him and helped him take a small sip. Julian swallowed it, but pulled a dirty face.

"Coffee bah! Banka? Coffee bah!" he told his mother, who came back to sit next to Jacqueline.

"Oh well, don't you like it? I thankfully do! You still have lemon water, go drink that."

"lemotate ummy!" replied Julian.

Maurice took Julian from his wife and planted him on his lap. He grabbed the glass and held it out to Julian. Julian grabbed the glass too, and drank with small sips. Maurice noticed, Julian was already getting the hang of steering the glass quite nicely. He handled it calmly, putting the glass to his mouth and slowly tipping it until he tasted the water.

Meanwhile, Maurice looked at the women opposite him. Bianca had brought out a doll, wearing half a dress. Maurice listened to what the women discussed about it, seemingly sewing things, but he felt Bianca's heart in it, how she looked and felt all fitting. And he saw his wife's reaction to it. She already had her heart set on it, even though the dress was at most half-finished.

He nodded, when she looked at him to ask him something.

She looked puzzled: "Why are you nodding?"

"To let you know, it's okay... that dress..."

"How do you know...?" stammered Jacqueline.

"Eyes and ears, and a deep feeling..." he chuckled.

"Well... Bianca, will you reserve this dress for me?" asked Jacqueline.

Bianca looked up in surprise: "Are you serious? I don't even know the price yet, I can only decide that when the dress and shawl are ready."

"The price is not important the moment your soul knows what to do..."

Bianca twisted her eyes and shook her head. "So, that's a deep one!"

"Jacqueline is a deep diver when it comes to soul matters," Karel responded. He enjoyed their togetherness, loved watching Bianca gently open up to his parents.

"Then you would probably like it at Bloemenhof," Bianca thought, "the life from the soul is very strong there!"

"Maybe we should try that, a midweek or so? Do you have any idea if there is still a room available for the coming week?" asked Maurice.

"Next week? From Monday to Friday? I don't know... but I can see on the site."

She looked up the site, and discovered that a room was indeed still available.

"Shall I give Huib a call?" asked Karel.

He added the action to the word when he saw his father nodding.

"I wonder if what we brought for a weekend is sufficient for the rest of the week," Jacqueline chuckled meanwhile. "Well, there are shops here too hahaha."

"Hey Huib, with Karel Mulder... what? no, I'm far from fed up with Bianca, crazy guy! And I assure you I never will! No, I'm calling you for something completely different. There is still a room available at the guesthouse for next week. My parents are here now, were supposed to go home on Monday, but would like to add a week with you... yes fine, I'll tell Dad, have him fill it in like that, will be fine!" Karel put the mobile phone on the table for so long because he saw that his father was still busy with Julian. Then he slid his mobile to him and asked him to fill in the reservation form for the guesthouse. He had the space for it, as Julian let himself slide down the sofa and walked into the garden.

After Maurice filled in the form, he discovered an email from Maureen.

"Tomorrow we can pick up the wedding dress made of candle wax," Maurice reported, "tomorrow at ten o'clock. Is that a good time for you?" he asked Jacqueline.

"Fine by me," she replied.

"Shall we join them?" asked Karel to Bianca. "I'm honestly quite curious to see what they've made of it over there," he said.

"And I like seeing them again!" smiled Bianca happily, "so yes, let's go along!"

Maurice answered Maureen's message and put his mobile back away. He looked backwards, following Julian, enjoying the boy's simple pleasure. His face broke open into a beaming smile as Julian came running towards him.

"Are you coming to sit with Maurice again?"

"Mauwies! Mauwies! Come!" Julian challenged him to come with him into the garden.

Maurice stood up and walked with him. Julian showed him the cement tub that stood by the garden house. Karel, meanwhile, had cut the net so far that it could be laid wide enough over the cement tub and pulled tight with the cable.

"So what has Karel done now?" asked Maurice in surprise.

"Tate! Hege inne tub!"

"Yes, I know, when it rains he always puts that tub there under the sunroof. Then the rainwater runs right into it."

Julian looked at him with a tilted head.

"Has Karel shown you how he does that?"

Julian shook his head. Maurice got an idea.

"Come along, will you help lug it around? That bin is pretty heavy!"

Maurice pretended he could barely lift the empty cement tub. Julian held the tub and walked with him. They placed the tub at the end of the sunroof.

"We'll get the garden hose, then we'll make rain on the sunroof ourselves!"

Julian dribbled after him, Maurice kept looking over his shoulder to see if he was still following. He grabbed the head of the garden hose and started pulling on it, winking at Karel. Karel had been following the scene, and understood what his father was up to. He pointed to himself and made a gesture as if to open a tap. Maurice nodded and, together with Julian, pulled the garden hose to the cement tub. There, he pointed the spray nozzle diagonally upwards, estimated that the 'rain' would then fall on the sunroof, and signalled to Karel to open the tap.

Julian looked puzzled from the cement tub to the garden hose, to Maurice and back to the hose again. Suddenly he heard a strange sound, as if the garden hose started to sputter. The water came out unexpectedly for him, but as soon as he saw what was happening, his shock quickly passed and he started clapping his hands and shouting "Tate! Tate! Hege!.... inne tub!" he shouted. He dribbled towards the tub, looked slightly over the edge, and received a cold spray over his head. With a squeal, he dropped backwards onto his buttocks, looking bewildered at the 'rain' that ran quietly from the sunroof into the cement tub. He felt at his wet hair... "Tate... Tate cod!"

"Yes, the water is cold, Julian! See how it will be when it really rains in a few days?" Maurice gestured to Karel that the tap could be closed again.

"Hege kaar, no hege," Julian muttered, still puzzled by his wet hair.

"Is it still cold, Julian?" asked Maurice.

"Yeah!" said Julian in a tone with which he made it feel that he did not like it.

Maurice got down on one knee next to Julian and tightened his shirt around his hair.

"So, just a little drying off," he said.

Bianca and Jacqueline had followed the whole scene. In Bianca's case, tears shot into her eyes again.

"Do you know what I see here?" she said in a hoarse voice to Jacqueline. "Obviously Karel's father. Karel would do the same... What a beautiful couple together..."

She grabbed her mobile and quickly took a picture.

"Golden moments," Karel said.

"Yes, they certainly are," Bianca responded, "and I now know from whom you copied it, from whom you discovered how to deal with children."

He grinned. "Yes and no... yes, I learned a lot from him, copied a lot subconsciously, but also no... because you can't do this if you don't have a heart for the child itself."

"Apparently you both have that," Bianca concluded.

"True, I saw it right away with Maurice, and with Jacqueline as well for that matter, how they looked at Julian, reacted to him. They just flooded with love!"

"Good description," Jacqueline murmured, "that is indeed how I experienced it. And I can't say other than that I was immensely happy to have this little man just thrown into our laps. You together are a wonderful surprise for us. But something else, I don't know how you guys are doing, but I'm starting to get hungry... silent hint!"

"Hahaha, loud enough to be overheard!" laughed Karel. "Quite right to point it out, it's half past six already damn it..."

Karel and Bianca stood up. Bianca collected the empty mugs on the tray.

"Wait a minute," Jacqueline said to Bianca, "if you now put them down like this, the way we are sitting now, we can use them like this again later. Saves washing up!" She winked mischievously. "Why create work?"

"Do you really not find that annoying?" asked Bianca.

"To drink from the same mug a few times? Well no, we do the whole day with the same mug. Only at the end of the evening, we rinse them briefly and put them on the kitchen counter. And we only wash up when that piece of countertop is full, or when we run out of mugs or plates in the cupboard. Bianca, take this advice from me: spend time on the things that have your heart. And if your heart is with dishwashing, you should definitely do that, but honestly, I don't believe any of that! You're more into the crea things."

Bianca nodded: "Yes, that's right, that's what I prefer to do. And I myself think, if I try to imagine it in such a way that I would only do the bare necessities, then I would also have more fun with Julian, that I would be better able to respond to him in the way Maurice just did. I very much want to deal with him that way, but I find it difficult, there is so much to do, also for my work at the guesthouse. I have a good time there, but it's more of a necessary job, because of the money, than it is my thing."

Jacqueline put a hand on Bianca's arm: "I am not going to interfere, dear, but I do want to tell you this, that I can see that Karel and you are one, despite all the woundedness you are still struggling with. And once you dare to live here and let go of the guesthouse... you can start living the way your soul tells you to. Karel earns more than enough, so you don't have to do a job that doesn't suit you. But I can imagine, you still have to cross a threshold first, maybe a couple of thresholds. On the other hand, I also know that once you cross that threshold, your healing will be more powerfully supported by him, through the things he does and says, but especially quite imperceptibly from within."

Bianca nodded: "I have heard of it, at Bloemenhof, that your soul starts radiating more and more power to those around you as you continue to heal. Karel also still has his wounding issues, but not so serious in my opinion. You have given him space, freedom, to explore the world and himself."

"Thank you Bianca, that is the best compliment you can give me!" said Jacqueline with tears in her eyes.

Bianca smiled, wanted to pick up the tray, but noticed it was gone.

"Karel just picked it up," Jacqueline said, "and he knows our principle of mugs, so I'm sure that will be fine."

"Yes, the tray is by the coffee machine, ready for the next round," Karel said with a grin, setting down plates and cutlery. "I'll just get the tray, just sit back down." He gave Bianca a quick kiss on her forehead and disappeared back into the kitchen. A moment later, he returned with the large shallow bowl in which they had prepared the salad together.

"Julian! Dinner, come, we're going to the table!"

"Eat Mauwies!"

As fast as he could he dribbled after Maurice, fell on his snout halfway along the route, scrabbled to his feet with an indignant exclamation of his 'notty les', and hobbled on. At the garden bench, he jumped into the hands of Maurice, who pulled him against him in a hug. " Amazing boy," he whispered by his ears.

Julian laughed: "Maze boy hahaha"

He looked at the table, saw the bowl. "Yummy eat... is tha?"

"I'd like to know that too... shall we take a closer look?"

Maurice placed Julian's plate and his own near the large dish and scooped up. Karel arrived with the previous day's bath towel, took a quick look to see if there was a clear difference between the clean and the not-so-clean side, couldn't detect it and packed Julian with it again.

"So Julian, then you can eat by yourself again. Bianca has cut the lettuce very finely, so I think that will do."

Julian barely listened to what Karel said, just looked interestedly at the salad's ingredients. He picked some out with his thumb and forefinger, held it up and asked, "Is tha?"

"That's a... brown bean!"

"Bou bee" said Julian and stuck it in his mouth.

Maurice looked to see if he was chewing it.

He grabbed something from his plate again: "No bou bee."

"No, that's right, that one's different hey. That's a capuchin."

"Wha?" asked Julian in surprise.

"Capuchin."

"Capusi?"

"Yes, a capuchin."

"Cazy..." muttered Julian, but put it in his mouth anyway.

"Do you like them, the brown bean and the capuchin?"

He nodded: "Yeah, capusi ummy, bou bee... mmmmmmmmm."

"Do you like the brown bean even better?"

Julian nodded and picked up something red from his plate.

"Is tha?"

"Red paprika."

"Hed pappeka."

"Chew well on the red paprika hey!"

A moment later, he picked up a yellow piece and in his other hand another red one. He looked at them with a frown in his forehead. "Hed pappeka..." he said to the red one, "and pappeka too?"

"Yes, that's right, that's also a paprika, a yellow paprika."

"Yelle pappeka."

He put the piece of yellow paprika in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. He grabbed another yellow piece: "Yelle pappeka ummy, hed pappeka... mmmmmmmmm."

"Yes, I agree, I like the red ones better than the yellow ones too," Maurice said, "but do you know what I like even better? Eating like this, with a spoon, then different things come together in my mouth. Mmmmm."

Julian looked at him questioningly, as if wondering if that could really be true. He followed Maurice's example, picked up the ice cream scoop Karel had put in front of him, scooped through his food with it and, like Maurice, brought his head forward to bite above his plate. And again tears shot into Bianca's eyes.

"Unbelievable," she whispered to Karel, "he takes Maurice incredibly seriously!"

"And rightly so, I always did too, and you see how great the result is. That's what Julian wants too, to become like Karel!" said Karel with a mischievous face.

Bianca poked him with her elbow. "Oh you crazy guy! I love you!"

"As long as you remember that!" Karel gave her a kiss, "and if you just remember better that I love you too!"

To chapter 83. 'Because of you...'

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