Katja and Maureen had decorated their dream house with furniture and other items they found here and there in thrift shops and via Marktplaats, an internet site for second-hand items. While searching, they discovered that their tastes matched perfectly. They liked some older style, like the antique sinks in their bedroom. They noticed their preference for the frills of the Rococo style. Decoration everywhere! The only piece of furniture that did not fit in was the bed they had been allowed to take from The Shelter, but the memories they had of it were too nice for the time being, and so they took the totally different style of the bed for granted.

"Funny actually," Katja thought, "we love that frills and that antique, and meanwhile we make quite modern works of art ourselves. And yet it fits together."

Maureen couldn't agree more. "Look at you, your glassware in one of those rococo cabinets, it doesn't get any better, does it? I think we would do well to keep looking around for more such cabinets in the meantime. We both have two of them now, but those cupboards are getting full now that we've gone back to work full time."

Katja nodded: "I have placed a search on Marktplaats. Every time a new ad comes in, we can see if it's something for us."

In between, the windows and woodwork had been taken care of by Simon's colleagues and the women could say that everything, really everything was now to their satisfaction.

They were beginning to settle down a bit and had taken up their hobbies again full-time. They had both decided, that in their workroom, they would also display their artworks. There was room enough for that for now! And in between, they would therefore keep an eye out for more matching cabinets, which they could put in their workroom or in their 'second study' next to it.

.

"Good morning, Maureen! Did you sleep well?" welcomed Katja her roommate as she entered the kitchen.

"As such, yes, but I woke up from a nightmare about the time I was a forced prostitute. What hit me most in that dream was the fact that I was forced, that I had no choice. Such an all-powerful clamp ya, like I was stuck in a tunnel, so that's how I dreamt it too, I was crawling in a tunnel that was far too narrow, barely making any headway, meanwhile having to behave as I had been taught, and all sorts of men were coming after me. They grabbed at me, touched my feet, scratched over them with their nails, suddenly came even closer and pulled off my skirt, and so we crawled on and on. That inevitability, that oppressive, not having the ability to flee, not being able to enter freedom. I woke up with that oppressive, anxious feeling, horrible! It's less now, it's still there to a slight degree, but it upsets me a lot, I feel light-headed. That was crazy too, by the way, when I woke up, still feeling completely like in that dream, it was like hooks inside my head were being pulled loose. It was every time for a moment painful, sharp, and then as if something slipped through my head. Really nasty!"

Katja nodded understandingly, "I also experienced something like this in a reliving, when we still lived at The Shelter. I talked to Lisa about it then. She recognised the feeling, had it sometimes in her head, sometimes in her underbelly. And she had learned from Sjaak, that there were so many wounds, emotional wounds, tumbling over each other, getting caught up in each other, that it was like having a fishhook with a wire attached to each wound. It had become a big tangle of misery and pain. And now those hooks are being pulled loose one by one, usually at a time when we are under pressure, like a pimple releases the pus when you put it under pressure. For you, the pressure came from that dream, in which your feelings were very much under pressure. This allowed a bunch of hooks to be loosened and pulled away. That you feel light-headed and upset now is because something has disappeared that was stuck there. As if everything now has to find its own place again."

"Strange story, but I do click with it. The way you tell it, it feels too, and I can actually imagine quite a lot. So in fact, through that nightmare, I have healed a little further! Pfff, I hope we will see the result of such process pieces soon! You know what I feel like doing? To get away from it all! Some distraction... doesn't have to be the whole day you know, maybe just the morning. Do you feel like that too?"

"Yes, actually quite a bit. I've been exploring our village via the internet. There seem to be some nice shops in the centre. Shall we go there this time?"

Maureen agreed: "Yes, nice, maybe we'll find something special, something we need, or something just too crazy!"

Katja laughed: "You never know! By the way, did you hear that Ilse and Ineke also found a house together?" She continued when she saw Maureen shaking her head, "It's not a big house, but they both love it. Ilse doesn't need much, a place to sleep and a spacious corner for her computer stuff. Well, her bedroom seems to be quite spacious, so perfect for her. The other bedroom is for Ineke, who has something like 'a place to sleep, eat, and read is enough'. She is nice and busy at the centre during the day, and at home she prefers to read and mess around in their garden. They have a living room and kitchen together and are thickly content. Turns out Ilse likes to cook, and Ineke learned to bake cake at Annerieke's place. So those two do keep each other alive!"

Maureen burst into laughter: " Come on, as if that's all we need! But nice for them, that they also got their own place. So The Shelter is empty again?"

"No ya, our cottages are already occupied again. One of those women has just finished her court case, seems to have been special again. And the other one may soon go and see how Ellen gets her out of the shit! Ilse and Ineke have only just moved out, so I don't think their cottages are occupied yet. Although, it can go very quickly!"

They cleared away their breakfast stuff, packed their bags, put on their summer jacket and shoes and headed out. They went by car, because they lived a bit outside the village, and secretly hoped they would come across some nice things for their house. As Maureen drove, Katja looked at her mobile.

"Joh, my first artwork, you know, that plant that grew out of glass has been sold! My first salary is coming in soon, perfect timing, then I can spend it in a while!"

Maureen laughed: "I don't think you're like that! You buy because you think something is really awesome, not because you've just got money coming in."

"Quite right, but you never know what crazy thing we'll come across later..." mumbled Katja, looking at the photo of her first work of art. "Quite a strange idea, letting go of my first art child... Ilse will give our address and my email address to the client when the payment is complete, so she can make an appointment to pick it up from our place. It's a woman, Fiona Booij. I find myself relieved at that. I don't have much appetite for male customers yet."

Maureen chuckled: "I'd rather have male customers coming to pick up an artwork than the type of male customers we've had in the past. But I understand your feeling, I'm also fine with a woman coming. Just keep an eye on your mail!"

They parked the car near the village centre. They got out, and walked at their leisure into the shopping street. They looked in the window of clothes shops, even though neither of them needed new clothes. "Just nice, browsing around," Maureen had said, and Katja had totally agreed.

"That looks like a nice little shop," Maureen pointed across the street, "really anything and everything in the window. Nice name too, 'Surprise'. What surprise would they have for us?"

Katja looked at her grinning: "I think we are going to find out! Let's have a look in the window first."

Suddenly, she kept looking at a beautiful crystal figurine with big eyes and half-open mouth. She pointed at it: "That one, a crystal panther, what a cool animal, and then all crystal... wow!"

"It's beautiful, but also quite pricey," Maureen thought.

Katja looked at her: "75 euros pricey? I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually worth a lot more." She grabbed her mobile, searched for 'crystal panther' and showed her housemate: "Here, one that costs over six times as much. It looks like the same one by the way, the way it's on those stones. I want to go inside, look further!"

Maureen walked in after her, where they were both greeted by a young, friendly woman. "Good morning, welcome to our shop! Feel free to look around quietly! And for questions, you can always come to me!"

Katja and Maureen nodded. "I just saw a crystal panther in the shop window, is that real crystal? That's hardly possible at that price, is it?" Katja showed the saleswoman the panther on her mobile.

"Most likely it came from the same seller, originally, but my partner and I usually shop at auctions. There we buy things that we feel deep down that a customer will come for. When we came across that panther," which she had meanwhile grabbed from the shop window, "we knew someone would be touched by it. By that I am not saying you should buy it, because of course you are completely free to do so, but it did hit you for some reason."

Katja nodded, picking up her mobile again and looking up her page on the digital gallery. "Recently, I discovered what I really absolutely love. I melt pieces of glass together and turn them into a creative work of art. I think that's why that crystal panther caught my eye."

The saleswoman enjoyed, sensing that here was someone beside her who knew how to sense things. "And you've only been doing this recently? I think you found the technique that suits you right away, the result is great! Something beautiful out of something broken. Hold on, I have something else, also made of crystal."

The saleswoman picked up a crystal vase from an open cabinet and put it next to the crystal panther. "What does this do to you?" she asked Katja.

"That vase? Nothing! Sorry, it's beautiful, but what I felt with that panther, I don't feel with that vase."

"I suspected that, but I wanted to check whether you felt the same way."

She put the vase back and stood by Katja again, started talking to her in a way you wouldn't expect from a saleswoman: "You are a very strong woman, a woman who fights for her life and for those she loves, a woman who goes straight for her goal and doesn't let herself be led by anyone else, at least not against her will. That passion of such a predator, you have it in you, but it is quite hidden by all kinds of misery you have experienced, which has wounded you. Not a little wounded, but seriously wounded."

Tears streamed down Katja's face. Maureen, who had been following everything and was standing next to her, put her hand on her shoulder. "Do you recognise this in yourself, Katja?"

"Not in everything, but actually I do anyway. I feel that it is right, that it is in me, but that it is not yet coming out as much as I would like. About letting someone else lead me... when we were house-hunting... I remember that I did love it then that you took the lead. And you didn't do anything wrong with that you know, but I allowed myself to be led regardless of whether it was according to my will or against my will. So the problem is not with you but with me. I tend to do what you say, whether it suits me or not."

"Katja, yo, do you regret now, regret certain things you did because of me?"

"No, actually not, the house, the decoration, everything is right for me. It's more feeling that I didn't differentiate, allowed myself to be led blindly, yes blindly. So well I've been lucky, I haven't gone wrong in that. Our tastes are just broadly the same, but so the problem is in my following without feeling myself. That's it, I don't feel myself if I want it too, I follow you, and then I discover that it's... thankfully!.... is right with me too. So in terms of the results of our actions, nothing has gone wrong, but in my thinking and feeling. Feeling and thinking for myself, making choices for myself, that has to do with that panther, with what is really inside me. Somewhere I feel that my soul knows very well what I want, what suits me, what I long for. I have already experienced that with my creativity. But life is more than that creativity..."

"Everything you encounter along the way in your life, everything has to do with it. You will still have to heal from all kinds of misery, and during that process you will discover, that in all kinds of areas you want things for yourself, you can make your own choices. And finding your own way has everything to do with finding yourself, who you are at the deepest level. And all that will grow stronger and stronger, just until you are that strong panther that dwells inside you!"

Katja wiped her nose with the tissues the saleswoman handed her.

"Boy, we only went to check out shops, just something different..."

"That's how it can go indeed!" the saleswoman replied. "Do you fancy a cup of coffee? We have a coffee corner here at the back, especially for situations like this, when conversations get started that go a little beyond the question 'what shall I buy?'"

"Gladly, that seems lovely!" sighed Katja, "you too Maureen?"

"Yes indeed, now I will follow you!" she winked.

They followed the saleswoman, who introduced herself as Rosanne in the coffee corner.

"Are you coming from far away?"

"No, we live a bit outside the village, recently. Before that, we both had a cottage on Bloemenhof estate, a few villages away. They have a guesthouse there, and since about a year, a group of houses for women who have been forced prostitutes or fled from a similar situation. Well, we come from such a situation, and moved on to a house of our own a few weeks ago. A lovely spacious house, where we are not alone, but certainly not on each other's lips," Maureen shared.

"Is that maybe that very wide house, that symmetrical one with a garage on both sides?" And as Maureen nodded enthusiastically, "So it's finally sold? It was for sale for a long time because it needed quite a bit of work."

"That wasn't too bad, only the windows had to be renewed, and of course there are a lot of them, and the woodwork. That was all done. Other than that, it's a fantastic house!"

The door opened and another woman entered. "Ha, do we have visitors?"

She shook hands with their guests and introduced herself as Angelique.

"Angelique, do you know where these ladies have lived? At the Pension Bloemenhof estate!"

"Oh really? That's where we had our honeymoon. That was so special! For a start, Margreet and Lisa, who I'm sure you know then, had decorated our guest room as a honeymoon suite. They didn't know that we were married just the day before though, but Lisa got images and impressions about it, and they went with that. It was such a great welcome! And then there were two other couples of our age, and we had such a click with them. Had to do with not being accepted if you think or live differently from most people, especially your closest family and friends. The Bloemenhof family even has special movie nights at Margreet and..."

"Huib?"

"Yes, Huib, organised at Margreet and Huib's home, had to do with detaching yourself from the system, breaking free from all kinds of beliefs. We had a great week didn't we, Rosanne? And then we immediately dove into some process things, about not being accepted and discovering your own way. And we both ended up with a desire to start a shop, this shop that is. And our greatest desire during our quests is to be guided by impressions from within, to find things, things that are necessary to help people, to touch them in wounds so that a bit of healing starts again, to help them find their own way. And we felt that those things would then work as 'surprises', hence the name 'Surprise'."

Rosanne chuckled: "My sweetheart can explain something like that so much better than I can. I'm more of the direct words that shoot up suddenly from my soul. Right, Katja?"

Angelique looked at Katja questioningly. "Tell! If you want..."

Katja told about the panther and the words Rosanne had spoken about her. Angelique tasted her words, felt... "It's true Rosanne, Katja is not a kitten, but a lioness, a panther, one of those predators that doesn't prey to stupidly tear up, but to protect and to be able to go her way."

Rosanne encouraged Katja to show her gallery photos to Angelique. Angelique calmly scrolled through them... "This one," she said at the last one, "'Embrace', have a look Rosanne, that one touches me immensely, it's really powerful, powerful in softness! It feels like... yes, really like embrace, a good embrace. I feel it's for us personally, but somewhere also for our shop. Our surprises are like an embrace for the customers who are touched by them. Do you see how I mean that?"

Rosanne nodded: "Oh yes, I totally feel what you mean. Buying, then? Is that what you mean?"

"Yes, if that's OK for you, I'd like to buy it for ourselves. I first thought of putting it here in our shop, but I think I'd rather have it at home. Well, that doesn't really matter either. Can we buy it directly from you Katja?"

"No, sorry, then you have to email the website administrator, under the heading Contact. And then you can make an appointment with us to pick it up. The administrator will give you the details for that. It all goes via her, so that we can concentrate on what we love doing, the creative stuff, while the administrator is totally enthusiastic about working with computers and everything that comes with it."

"That's okay, I'll email that administrator!" She quickly copied the name of the website. "Joh, now I see, that's Huib and Margreet's website! We follow them on Twitter too, they make beautiful things! What about you Maureen? Katja just said something about the creative and mentioned 'we'. Do you also prefer to be creative?"

Maureen, impressed by what was happening, what was being discussed, looked up confused: "Me - yes, me too, I picked up an old hobby, from my childhood, again. If you were to name it in street slang, you might call it 'gabbing with candle wax'. What it is... basically, it's simply dripping candle wax, and in such a way that it becomes an image. I usually use a board or a block of wood as a base, then drip over that. You can also find my work on the gallery's site."

Angelique, still standing with her mobile phone in her hands, searched for her name in the row of Artists. "Maureen Kuiper, I got your page... Ohh how special! That wedding dress, wow! And that volcano... Rosanne, I'm afraid we are in for an expensive day... I have a thing for this volcano!"

She showed the photos to Rosanne, who was even more touched than Angelique.

"I know what, you the 'Embrace', me the 'Volcano' and since we belong and live together anyway, we'll put them together in a nice place. That 'Volcano' probably shouldn't be too hot, am I right?"

"To be on the safe side, it's best to keep candle wax below 40 degrees Celsius, so keep it out of the sun," Maureen warned.

Rosanne and Angelique looked at each other.

"On the shelves!" said Angelique. "We have two shelves hanging on the wall, the top one just above eye level, the other one just diagonally below it, little table underneath to avoid bumping into the shelves. If we put the 'Volcano' on the top shelf, the sun will surely never reach it. And the 'Embrace' could go on the bottom shelf. Do you think that's a good idea too?"

Rosanne nodded. "I think so, at least it's worth a try, right? And otherwise we'll find another nice place, will be fine. You email that manager later. Ladies, both sold a work of art! And what do you think, do you feel obliged to buy that panther now, Katja?"

"No, not obligated, I already wanted to buy it, regardless of your buying plans, so that sale is going ahead anyway!" smiled Katja.

"Shall we go and sort that out then?" asked Rosanne.

Katja nodded and the four of them walked back into the shop. Rosanne wrapped the panther protectively in silk tissue paper and then in gift paper. Katja charged, and asked Maureen if she wanted to look further.

"Not now, we'll come again another time. Right now I'm a bit full, I'd prefer to go home now if you don't mind."

"Well no, good that you pointed it out! Then we'll just go home. Rosanne, Angelique, thank you for everything, it was really overwhelming!"

To chapter 56. Fiona on her journey

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