Lisa's cell phone went off. On the screen she saw the phone number of the police from the area of Henk’s house. Marcel, the officer who called her, told her, that they had finished their investigation and were therefore releasing the house. He asked her how she wanted to handle it with the front door.

"Well, frankly, I have no desire to go to that house anymore myself. Ideally, I would ask someone who sells front doors in your area to handle it further with you. I just don't know who to go to yet."

"May I make you a suggestion?"

"Yes please," Lisa replied.

"A friend of mine could arrange that. I could ask him and then go to the house with him."

"I'd love that. Yes, you do that. I'll leave it to the two of you to decide which door it should be. In any case, it should be a door that really goes with the house in terms of style and color. The house has to be sold after the auction, then it has to have a door that goes well with it."

"That’s all right!" replied Marcel. "And the bill, shall I send it to you?"

"Yes, that's most convenient, just send it here."

Lisa gave him her email address, so the bill could be emailed through.

"And another thing," the agent continued, "about that cell phone and everything your ex had recorded on it. There were unfortunately two colleagues who had taken over those images. After I told them, what really happened to you, they were embarrassed, they felt really sorry. They both still had it on their mobile and deleted it there on the spot. They assured me that they had not shared it with anyone else. So if everything is right, it is now only on your ex's mobile. We ourselves no longer need it. We made a short report of what you told, with only a single note that pictures and videos were taken of that and that they will be destroyed. Furthermore, there is of course our report of what we found in the house. I will also mail that report to you soon, so you can indicate any changes or additions, if you want. As soon as you send it back to us, the report will be official and as far as we are concerned everything is finished. All that remains is for me to ask you what you want to do with that cell phone. Shall I send it to you or do you want me to destroy it?"

Lisa thought briefly for a moment. "Well, that's a difficult thing. And I don't really know yet what I want with it. No, that's not right, deep down I do know what I want with it, but I don't know if I can handle it yet. I think I do want the cell phone, because what I really want is to try to find out from all those men I meet in those photos and videos who they are and to start a lawsuit against them. I just wonder, if I have a leg to stand on, because I have, under duress from my ex, always received them very warmly and sexily. So the question is, whether they had any idea that they were raping me."

"That is indeed a tricky one, what you say about how you welcomed them. On the other hand... surely some guy must see that it's strange that a woman doesn't arrange such work herself, that the arrangements go through her husband. And even more guy should understand that a man does not do such a thing to his wife! But that is my personal opinion. So I actually don't know if you can achieve anything with it, but you could consult with a lawyer, just ask if there are any possibilities for a lawsuit. I think it would be terribly difficult for you, but if you succeeded, it would be a bold statement! A statement to all forms of forced prostitution. And if justice is done for you, it will make a difference to your own processing as well."

Lisa jumped up, she recognized in that last remark a psychological tinge, of which she had experienced in recent days that such things were absolutely not true. And she told him frankly: "I really don't agree with that last remark. No matter how a possible lawsuit would turn out, I will have to go straight through my own pain, frustration and anger. I have learned and experienced in the past few weeks, how good it is to go through your miserable feelings when something from your emotional wounds is touched. I am far from there, I will still have to go through a lot, but I have experienced, that only that brings healing, real healing. No, if I were to file a lawsuit, it would not be for myself, but for justice, that the perpetrators are punished, and more so for other women, just what you say, a statement. I would do it so that other women will recognize themselves and dare to step out, and so that other men who are guilty of this can be sued. So my goal is actually first and foremost for other women, for their liberation. My desire is to heal emotionally myself and become who I am, and to help other people, especially women, in such a process of healing."

"Wow, special young lady you are!" replied Marcel with a deep sigh.

"I have a special partner, sir, a man who is connected to my soul from his soul. A man who sees me as I am deep down, inside. A man who has only one desire, that I heal and become myself. My ex, before he started this prostitution, abused me with BDSM. He said he wanted to make me fiery. Sjaak, my current partner, sees that inside I am already fiery, but that I have always been shy because of the shit that has been done to me, even before I married Henk. And that fiery that is in the real Lisa, that is what I want to use for other women. That's my desire!"

"I think Sjaak indeed knows you well inside... and that in such a short time, incredible!"

"Ah sir, that doesn't really have to do with time, that has to do with that soul connection. Being able to see the other person from your soul as he or she really is. Like you, you are someone who prefers to really help people. You only have one problem, you have to abide by I don't know how many rules and laws. I doubt that in your work you can help people as much as you deeply want to." She suddenly fell silent, as she was shocked at herself for what she had just uttered.

"You see right through me pretty well Lisa, leave out that word 'pretty', it's just true what you say. So that also has to do with seeing from your soul or something?"

"Yes, it is. To be honest, I was shocked at myself for just saying this. It just came up, like it was pouring out of a fountain. I couldn't even stop it. I'm not used to this yet from myself. Like I said, I was always very shy..."

"In any case, you hit the nail on the head! And I have to admit that it frustrates me regularly, that I am not free in my work. But then again, what to do with it, those laws and rules are there..."

"Maybe it's good if you start considering whether there are other professions for you in which you can help people the way you would like to. Or in your free time. Don't be hasty, first learn to listen to your inner self, and if there are things that hurt or make you sad... emotional wounds and so on... go through it, if you feel the pain coming. Accept it, don't push it away any longer. Then listening to your soul will become easier and easier."

"Doesn't sound easy, but makes sense, does sound good. I'm going to work with your advice Lisa, thanks for that! And if I ever have questions about it, could I trouble you with them?"

Lisa chuckled, "That's not called 'troubling’, I prefer to call that 'asking for help'. And yes, you are welcome to call or email me for that. Or treat yourself to a week here at the guest house, guest house 'Bloemenhof', the whole team lives this way."

"Good idea, fun too! But... crazy question maybe Lisa, would this also be good for my relationship with my wife? Then we will once come together for a week!"

"Of course! It's good for all aspects of your life, Marcel, including your relationship. Oops, I'm suddenly starting to call you by your firstname, don't you think that's a problem?"

"Actually, kind of nice if you call me Marcel. I find the whole sir-thing rather... well, system-like, something like that that's appropriate, you know. But it does feel like we're keeping each other at a distance with it."

Lisa confirmed that, then they finished their conversation.

She had heard halfway through the conversation that Sjaak had come in. She briefly reported to him about the conversation, about the door, about a possible lawsuit, about personal emotional healing. "And he's probably coming to stay at the boarding house with his wife soon!"

Sjaak smiled broadly and pulled her into his arms. "What a wonderful wife I have! I am proud of you Lisa, you should see how far you have come in such a short time. The power in you is showing up!"

"Yes, I've noticed that." She told him how she had suddenly gotten an impression for Marcel. "It just came on, very strong and fast, and he recognized that it was absolutely right. He is going to think about it further, wants to learn to listen to his inner self. That's why he's considering coming to stay here, to get some support for it. And now, now I want to call Ellen Hendriks, to see if a lawsuit against all those men who raped me is possible."

Sjaak kissed her and encouraged her: "Great plan to discuss with her, but don't start too soon, I don't know if you could handle it right now."

"That's what I want to talk through with her too, if a lawsuit would be feasible, what would be expected of me, so I can try to sense if I can handle it already or if I'd better wait a while. You know Sjaak, it will be intense anyway, but just being busy with it, and taking the time in between to consciously feel what it does to me... wouldn't that be good for me?"

"It seems so, but I'm also reluctant, just... I want to protect you, you've been through so much already, you know?"

"Yes, dear Shaggie," she said teasingly, "I understand that very well, but don't you think, that it will be powerful?"

"Yes... it will, but still... Sjaggie, silly Liesel!" He hugged her again and for a moment she intensely enjoyed her safe place within his strong, loving arms. Then she loosened up, "I really want to get on with it, but I promise you that during my consultation moments with Ellen I will continue to have a good sense of whether it is feasible at this point."

With an encouraging nod, Sjaak let her go, but went out himself, to Huib. He needed to put his concerns to Huib for a moment.

To chapter 143. Won't it be too much for Lisa?

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