Although by the end of the week Fiona was still struggling with the fact that she was apparently so blocked that she fell asleep like a log by default as soon as Alex caressed her, she could mentally accept it. What she found much more difficult at the moment was that the holiday week was over, that she would go to her own house, and Alex to Ellen. How would he find her, what would it do to him? And besides... she didn't really want to miss him for a day!

Silently they packed their bags, hearing a lot of chatter and laughter from the other rooms. With their bags closed at the door of their room, they looked at each other.

"How strange this feels," Alex said, "as if this is the end... But I assure you this is the beginning, I want nothing but to move on with you!"

His voice sounded almost desperate. Fiona felt sorry for him, he had to go through all sorts of things at home, and they both still had no idea what that would entail, what Ellen would be like. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked at him.

"My home is open to you, Alexander, I long for the moment you come to live with me, really... every day without you, already feels like one day too much."

"I already long for you, to be with you for the rest of my life. I'll keep in touch with you and I promise to move my shit to you as soon as possible."

"Better yesterday than today," chuckled Fiona, "but also keep Ellen in mind. Make sure you can end it well with her, as far as that depends on you."

"I'll certainly try to do that. Honestly, I feel a bit uneasy about that, I have no idea what she's like. I never wanted to hurt her, but I couldn't help but... bah, that's the only nasty side of it all!"

Fiona moved against him, her arms around his waist. She tiptoed over to give him a kiss. "It's going to be fine, her first reaction was already good. And the pain it causes her, she will have to go through that herself, just like I had to go through my pain around my marriage to Daniel. He couldn't help me in that." She chuckled. "I wouldn't want that either, just imagine..."

"You're right! Come girl, darling, we have to go down, we have to go, there's no other way."

.

While Fiona drove away in her own car, Alex drove with Johan, Marieke and Marianne. Joke and Anton and the Bloemenhof family had said goodbye to them in their own heartfelt way, and were now waving them goodbye. Those left behind felt the heaviness Alex was now going through, violently difficult. Together, they hoped it would all turn out all right!

.

Johan dropped Alexander off at his house. He said a brief goodbye, with the others wishing him strength. Alex took his bag from the car trunk and waved at the speeding car. With a deep sigh, he walked to the front door and went inside. He took out Joke's book, which he had bought for Ellen, out of his bag and walked on. He found her in the kitchen, unsure. Just a week ago, hoping to reach her, he would have embraced her, but he realised just in time that that was no longer an option now.

He called her name: "Ellen..."

She looked at him and whispered, "Alex... I have been so looking up against this, against your coming home. I know it's good the way it is, but it's still incredibly hard!"

Alex nodded and asked, "How did you get through this week?"

He heard a short laugh. "Oh well, terribly sad, terribly angry, desperate, all that kind of bullshit. In between, I've been in touch with Anton a few times. He helped me by listening, and that was good. By the way, I have not been angry with you, I felt absolutely no reason to be. When I think back on our years together, I can only think it was true that we didn't fit together. Despite that, you made so much effort to reach out to me, emotionally, physically. It sounds crazy, but I have nothing to complain about our years. Conversely, I also did what I could, I think..."

Alex interrupted her: "You certainly did, absolutely..."

"But we just don't have it hey, what you have with Fiona, we never had that. I've never experienced anything like it, so deep, so intense. I stood there and I watched it, and I felt myself sink through the floor. You are not to blame, and neither is Fiona. You are lovely, fine people, both of you, I realised that very clearly last week, I felt the same with her. I just think she's pretty broken, I hope you realise that too..."

"Yes, I have felt that too, noticed it in her way of reacting. It's not easy..."

"No, so you roll from a marriage that lacked that real connection into a relationship with a lot of woundedness. Indeed, doesn't seem easy to me either. In other words, we are both entering a new period, a new period that is not all easy and fine. How do you plan to move on? Were you planning to continue living here, for the time being, or...?"

Ellen's voice faltered, she couldn't manage to pronounce Fiona's name again. Alex found it difficult, if only he knew what was right for Ellen. He decided to simply express his doubt: "If it were up to me, if I only had to deal with myself, I would pack my things and move out now. But I also have to deal with you and I want to consider you. What do you need? What is right for you?"

Ellen smiled, "That is exactly how I have always experienced you, focusing on me. And I realise now, that I have accepted it as normal, as usual, when it is actually quite special. Thank you Alex, for that focus on me, all these years... and for now I think it's best for myself, if you move in with Fiona, if that's possible with her too. I find it hard when you have to start packing your things here, but that's the way it is, we can't avoid that. But don't keep living here for me, that would just be extra difficult. Any time you want to come here to further pack your things, you should just be able to be here, although I would love it if you would give me a little message beforehand when you come. And beyond that, we still have to get the divorce done. I looked on the internet, and discovered that if we can get it done together, it's very simple to do. There are even outlines on the internet, as a guide to dividing things. I don't want you to pay me alimony, I have a good job, which I feel completely comfortable in and which pays me an excellent salary. I would be happy if we could somehow do something with the material things, the house, the contents. It belongs to us together, and I would like to continue living here, so I would like to buy you out, something like that. But how, we need to figure that out together, preferably as soon as possible."

She sighed deeply, confused by her long account. Alex looked at her: "Ellen, is it OK with you if I start packing now, and then leave tonight?"

Ellen nodded. "Gladly! Will you take the grey car? I love the white one... if you don't mind?"

"Totally fine," Alex smiled, "they both drive quite well, I can get by with both, so feel free to take the white one! When will I come back for everything we need to arrange?"

"I don't have any appointments next week... shall we just start tomorrow?"

"What time?"

"Come around ten o'clock, hopefully I'll be awake enough..."

Alex nodded, "I'll be there, then we'll first discuss how we want it, and then I'll continue packing after that."

"The sooner it's settled, the better. Gosh, it seems like I'm kicking you after, kicking you out the door or something, but I don't mean it that badly."

"I know that anyway, Ellen, but it's nice to have the practical things sorted out as smoothly as possible. In the end, we both have to go through our processing, but we can't do that together anyway..."

"Processing? You too?" asked Ellen in surprise.

"Yes, what were you thinking! Years I've been with you, years you've been part of my life. I'm also leaving something behind, I'm leaving someone behind, and I don't find that easy. I can't really sort out my feelings yet, that's still a really tangled mess, but I'll be fine. I'm happy for you that you found a listening ear with Anton."

"Yes, he really is like a father, a good father..."

.

Alex went into the shed looking for boxes, found a stack of moving boxes from years ago. He started filling them with his clothes, with his administration, with all sorts of personal items. Realising he could not take everything at once, he decided to leave the boxes he would pick up tomorrow, in his study where he had always kept his administration and correspondence, so Ellen would not have to see them tonight. He looked at the cupboards, which he did want to take with him. He decided to ask Ellen about that before he left.

Ellen took it for granted, they did not belong to their marriage but to his work. "See if you can get rid of them there first, and if you can, take them with you next week."

Alex nodded, loaded the grey car full of moving boxes, greeted Ellen and once again promised to be present tomorrow at ten o'clock.

Ellen watched him as he drove away, out of her life.

.

Fiona felt that she was beaming from the inside out since she had received a message from Alex that he was about to arrive. But on the other hand, there was a certain restlessness inside her. She did not know Ellen, much less how she would be in this situation.

As soon as Alex walked in, she asked him about her.

"She is having a tough time, but she has also been thinking well. She realises that it's so good, that you and I have this connection that she and I never had. She likes it that I move all my stuff as soon as possible, so I want to try that this coming week. She doesn't want alimony and she wants to pay me for the house and the stuff I leave behind."

They walked into the living room together... Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked around. "This is coming home, I tell you, home with you, home in this house. It feels so good!"

They embraced each other, and as he looked at her, he continued, "I do have a practical question. Do you also have a place left in this house where I can do the administration and correspondence of my work, and keep the stuff from there?"

"Come along, there are several rooms upstairs that are not in use, but those are more bedrooms. Down here I have another room, maybe we can do something with that together."

She took him into a huge room, with large windows and a glass front to the garden, with a fireplace and different corners.

"What a special room this is! What have you done with this in the past?"

"Nothing, we did have plans to turn it into an extra living room, but it just didn't materialise. That's why it hasn't been further decorated here. And in the past year I haven't gotten around to it, but I have a desire to sculpt here, make space to work, and space to store my artworks. But then I need cabinets. I have seen cupboards at Katja and Maureen's that I like. They are black, but not those standard straightforward cupboards, they are in the Rococo style, with frills, nice decorations, just different from what is usually made nowadays. And your cupboards, what are they like?

"Also black, but of a sleek style, especially practical. I think, we could make a fine shared workspace here. If we feel more comfortable, we could put up a movable wall."

"Do you always get your clients at home?" asked Fiona.

"No, actually never. I have contact by phone, but mostly by e-mail. And physical contact I always have at the auction site, where the items to be auctioned are."

"Then I don't think you need to put up a screen. Maybe a big plant, a few big plants, not really as a screen, but still to create a bit of your own corner. Just see what looks nice to you."

"For your artworks, does it matter which side you want to put cabinets against to store them?"

"As such, I don't think it matters, I was thinking about that long wall myself. When the sun shines in here in full force, we can take out the awnings. Those are big and sturdy, with a light cloth. It just keeps out the bright light of the sun. If I ever start doing something with colours, which I don't expect at the moment, but if... then that light cloth is also perfect, it doesn't give discolouration."

Alex nodded, enjoying her, her enthusiasm. He pointed to the corner to the right of the entrance door: "Shall I make my workspace there? For now with my current furniture, but hearing you like this, about that Rococo style... I wouldn't be surprised if I want to do something with that too! How to do it practically, I don't know, how to put my things in it, but we'll see. I'll probably come across something at auctions, then we can decide right away whether we want to buy it. And your idea of those plants also appeals to me, or two of those lion statues, as guardians of my domain."

Fiona laughed at the silly idea, but then was suddenly serious: "And why not? How about one of those marble bases, and then a statue on top?"

"That seems genius! Will you make the statue? Then I'll look for that foot!"

"I'm not that good yet, but we could also use such marble feet to place a few small statues on them."

"Plenty of possibilities, but for now... I'm thirsty, maybe you have a drink for me? Then I think I'll start clearing out some stuff after that. You can also show me around upstairs..."

"Will be fine, the wardrobes are super spacious, half empty, so you can put everything there. And in the bathroom too, there's some closet space left, I'll give you a tour in a minute, but first coffee, or would you prefer something else?"

"Just make coffee, I'll get some from the car in advance."

The front door remained wide open. He opened a car door and took out a moving box, brought it inside. When Fiona finished the coffee, he had already put three boxes in the living room.

"Three more to go, after coffee!"

As they sipped coffee, snuggled up deliciously close to each other on the sofa, Fiona said, "This house hey, I have a good affordable mortgage on it. I still work at the bookstore, and combined with the alimony Daniel still pays, I can live on that just fine. When your salary is added, that alimony falls off as far as I'm concerned, but we'll still have more than enough, I suppose. What I was thinking about was that idea of Ellen's. I would love it if she could just keep living there, without it costing her anything else. I remember too well how wonderful that was for me when Daniel decided that way for me. He had every right to make me pay for this house, but he didn't want to. How do you stand in that?"

"I am immensely grateful that you think exactly the same as what I had got in mind along the way. I didn't make a decision then, because I felt I should also discuss it with you. And now you start talking about it yourself, with the same solution... Great! I promised her I would be with her tomorrow at ten o'clock, to sort out the paperwork and move the rest of my stuff. Then I will tell her. By the way, I think I need to rent a trailer for those cupboards..."

His mobile went off. "Huib, it's Alex!"

"Hey Alex, I just wanted to ask... are you moving in with Fiona soon?"

"Yes, I'm with her now, have already brought roughly six moving boxes. Tomorrow I hope to scrape the rest together."

"Great, I have Ellen's address, Sjaak and I will come and help you with our pick-up. At least, I suppose you'll have to bring some bigger stuff too?"

"Yes, I was just saying to Fiona, I need to rent a trailer for the cupboards from work..."

"Never mind, we'll come and help you. What time is most convenient?"

"Man, Huib, you guys are great! Ellen and I were going to settle the divorce papers first, starting at ten o'clock. No idea how long we'll need for that, but I assume we'll have that done by noon."

"Then we'll be at your place around noon, you can still pack boxes if necessary. Do you have enough moving boxes? If not, I'll bring some from here."

"No need for that, I have plenty. Gosh, really incredibly nice, see you tomorrow then!"

"See you!"

"Is Huib coming to help you tomorrow?" asked Fiona.

"Yes, and Sjaak too, both with a pick-up. That feels really cool, they are really behind us, and also behind Ellen, I definitely don't feel they will shut her out."

"Definitely not, they were all, both the guests and the permanent residents at Bloemenhof, all clearly convinced that there was no fault. You attracted each other based on similar woundedness, Anton thought, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is indeed the case. I actually recognise it myself."

"How doubly glad I am then with that piece of healing we both experienced in the past year! Because of that, we recognised each other, felt that connection!"

.

The next morning, Alex was with Ellen at ten o'clock and they plunged into the divorce papers.

"Oh yes, before we start filling things out," Alex began, "I would like you to continue living here without having to pay for it. Let's break up without exchanging money, it'll be intense enough as it is, OK?"

"Do you know how much money you'll miss out on then?" asked Ellen in surprise.

"No, probably an amazing amount, but I don't want it, I don't need it."

"Well, I think it's quite a lot... And won't you get into trouble with Fiona then? Does she know about it?"

"She came up with it, I had thought of it myself, but before I could discuss it with her, she started talking about it, so as far as we're concerned it's totally fine," Alexander replied.

"That... um... I think that's pretty special... thanks! And please thank Fiona for it too, I can barely take it, but I think I'm very happy with it!"

"Why should you go into debt, when we made a step together, you and I, so many years ago, a step that in hindsight was not wrong or anything, but which we are now putting a stop to. I can go and live comfortably in that beautiful house that Fiona turns out to have, and you have to go and pay shit? No Ellen, that's not how we resolve this."

Ellen waved her hand for a moment and whispered, "Sorry, speechless for a moment..."

"That's OK, quite nice and calm," Alex chuckled, winking at her.

.

Two hours later, apart from filling in the papers, Alex had already completed an hour of packing. All the loose items he wanted to take with him had been packed. The wait was on the two pick-ups.

The moment he heard them arrive, he ran down the stairs to open up, but Ellen was ahead of him.

"You here?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes dear friend, we've come to help the bloke move his stuff quickly, then you won't have to spend unnecessary time in each other's company while the situation is not exactly cheerful. At least, I assume so..." said Huib.

"Oh well, we have no quarrel, but it is indeed quite intense," Ellen replied.

"Exactly, and we shouldn't drag that out any longer than necessary," responded Sjaak, "and I had to give you a hug from Lisa, can I fulfill that promise?"

Widening his arms, Ellen took a step forward and disappeared into his embrace. The simple gesture caused the damsels to break. The tears she had been holding back since yesterday now all came out. Sjaak gestured to Huib and Alex that they should just get started. They sneaked up the stairs, and came down with the first cupboard a moment later. Ellen had calmed down a bit by now, and thanked Sjaak.

"We remain friends, Ellen, you're not out or anything. We are behind Alex and Fiona, but also behind you. We understand the situation and can also imagine how it must feel for you. Well, I just want to say that you remain as welcome as the others. You can always call or email us, or drop by, just whatever you want, okay?"

"Fine, really fine. Somehow I knew you would all be like that, but I've been fretting about it anyway..."

"Got it, that's why I wanted to mention it. I'm going to give those guys over there a hand. Boys, you do the cupboards, shall I do the boxes?"

"Yes, get them, at the top of the stairs on the left, first room!"

"Will do!"

An hour later, everything was safely in the pick-ups and the car, and it was time to go. Alex looked at Ellen. He held his arms wide and asked, "Can I give you a goodbye hug?"

Ellen hesitated for a second, walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"It's all right, Alex, hard but good. Be happy with Fiona, make her happy! When we know more about the divorce proceedings, we'll get back in touch, all right?"

"Will do, Ellen, take care of yourself!"

She smiled, " I promise you that..."

She finally even had the courage to wave off the three cars.

To chapter 76. Soul Print Shop

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