Today we have the conversation with the inspector of education, was the first thought Ineke woke up with and got a stomach ache on the spot. She really wanted to go, but was dreading it like a mountain. Such an inspector, first and foremost a man, if she understood correctly, secondly someone in such a controlling, and therefore intimidating and perhaps manipulative role. She felt lousy about it in advance!

.

By the appointed time, she saw Bea and Patrick approaching with Rosalie. Rosalie went the other way, waving and as always hopping, towards Margreet and Huib's house, while Ineke stepped out the door and walked towards Bea and Patrick.

"Ha Ineke, are you looking forward to it, or are you dreading it like we are?"

"Hi - just like you guys the latter! So much depends on it hey..."

"Exactly," Bea said, "and also that feeling that it depends on that one person. That feels quite intimidating, as if he could give you an important piece of your life, or decide to take it away from you. Well, we have everything nicely written down, he had already responded positively to that. Let's go for it!"

They walked to the village centre, where the inspector had invited them to the town hall. They were kindly received by a woman, whom they suspected was a secretary. The woman preceded them to a room, pointed out a few chairs where they could sit and sat down behind the desk herself.

"The inspector you had invited is unfortunately ill. He has asked me to deputise. I am not yet an official inspector, I am an intern at the Education Inspectorate, but I am already qualified to conduct this conversation and report to him. He let you know, by the way, that he is really impressed by what you wrote to him. I grabbed it here, and I see you have the same attachment with you. Handy, that makes it easier to talk. I want to start with your request for permission for a discovery centre. In addition, of course, I have also read about Rosalie, so I will take that in mind. Do I understand correctly that you are both her parents and that you are the group teacher who wants to participate in the centre?"

As everyone nodded, she continued, "Do you know what I find so difficult? That you have put everything on paper so clearly that I don't even know what else I could ask for! And to be honest, the inspector confided in me that the same was true for him. Actually, on the one hand we were shocked by your vision of education, by Rosalie's experiences, and on the other hand delighted that you not only showed that side, but also came up with a great solution. I will tell you, having read everything, I went back in my mind to my own school days, and I must confess... I recognised your objections. Rosalie's feelings too, for that matter, that feeling of not being understood, not being able to be who you are. Yet you, Ms Luchtenburg, took that step to train as a primary school teacher. How did you come to that and how did you experience it?" she asked Ineke.

Ineke thought briefly about how she wanted to explain that. "Before I try to explain that... I would like you to call me Ineke. I don't know if that's okay for you too?" asked Ineke to Patrick and Bea.

They nodded. "Gladly even," said Bea, "that sounds just a bit more personal."

"OK, then please call me Anita, then we'll keep it simple!"

She then looked at Ineke again, who immediately responded, "If I go back in my mind, to when I had to choose a direction for vocational education... I wanted to do something with children, there was no doubt about that. The first thing that came to mind was primary education, becoming a teacher. The fact that I myself had not had nice experiences in my childhood only spurred me on more, because I wanted to do things differently, I wanted to be beside the children, to follow them. At the course, I also heard terms like child-centred education, child-following education. Great! But I soon found out during my internship that that was actually not possible because of all the demands from higher up. All textbooks had to be finished by the end of the year. That alone. When I heard that, I asked the director how it was possible, that all children were required to make the same pace and follow the same path. Didn't he believe then that every child was different? Do you know what he said? 'Oh well, every person is different, but that's the way it has to be.' So education was a system, and the system fixed everything. I found it a misery, for myself and for a lot of children. A sizable group of children seem not to suffer, but I don't believe in that. It only seems that way. In fact, there is another thing, which only emerges later, that you already notice in secondary school, which is that if you have to learn things for a rehearsal or exam, you have forgotten a lot almost immediately afterwards. When I think back to all those hours, so many hours, every week, that I was just sitting there learning, cramming things into my head. What an incredible amount of time I put into that, time and effort. It has cost me so much. In that time, I could have done, and wanted to do, things that I liked. And you know, if it had paid off, but I estimate that from high school and vocational training I have forgotten at least three quarters, frankly I think even more. From primary school, most of the things about arithmetic, Dutch language and writing have stuck, because you still use them so often. But the rest? Most of it is on the rubbish dump! SUCH A PITY OF MY CHILDHOOD!" said Ineke slowly and with great emphasis. "Thanks to Rosalie, I noticed that self-discovery triggered a desire in me. I wanted to discover myself too! Imagine, grown up, but I recognised her desire. I also expressed that to people I live with on the estate, the Bloemenhof estate, at that guesthouse. I said I wanted to discover what it was like to garden, to learn things there, and see if I liked it. I have now done that for an hour, gone with the gardener. And I have experienced things, felt things, discovered things through feeling and thinking out loud. I don't know yet if I really like gardening very much, I've mostly enjoyed discovering. I will do the same tomorrow morning in the guesthouse kitchen. Then I will help the owner bake a cake. I have no idea yet how I will experience that, all I know is that her cake is always delicious! If mine turns out well, I will take it to one of the houses on the estate, because there is a meeting of artists there. If school had been like that, I would have looked forward to it, would have enjoyed it. But the way the reality of school is... I'm sorry, it just makes me sad!"

Anita saw that the tears were indeed welling up in her eyes, and she felt it was no play. "How happy I am for you that 'our wonderful education' has not so dulled you, that you no longer want to learn anything, discover anything. And so you got to know Rosalie too?"

Ineke nodded. "Yes, not very well yet, but getting to know her was very special. She is very open, asks what she wants to know, thinks things through, resists when she thinks it is necessary."

Ineke experienced a slight fright at Bea, next to her. "Nothing serious at all. Margreet wanted to pick up the baby upstairs and thought Rosalie had better stay downstairs to make her sandwich. It was during lunch. And Rosalie rebutted that so simply, not at all rebelliously: 'I can butter my sandwich too if you feed Gloria.' I saw Margreet think for a moment before giving her permission. And when they were back at the table, Rosalie offered to butter a sandwich for Margreet too, since she couldn't do it herself while she had to feed Gloria. It was just sweet, but also very confident. Rosalie is very free in a fine way. Absolutely not sassy or pushy. She doesn't need to be pushy either. She just lives with the adults. I think the reason she doesn't show toddler behaviour is because she is allowed to develop freely, and because things are negotiable. I spoke to Huib about this once. He is the son of that woman from the guesthouse. He was brought up that way too, and became who he is, he calls it. Only school, he experienced that as terrible... and so we are back to our subject..."

Anita laughed: "In a very natural way, you make a great case for your centre! Do you have anything else to add, Bea, Patrick?"

"No, as far as I know we have already written everything down," Patrick replied, as Bea nodded at him.

"I don't have any more questions about it either, so I wanted to switch to your other question, which is about exemption for Rosalie. That is, of course, largely related to permission for the centre. I'll be honest with you: the inspector and I consulted and agreed beforehand, that if no strange things came up during this conversation, that we would give permission for the centre. And then you will understand that you will get immediate exemption for Rosalie, she will be allowed to go to the discovery centre instead of school."

She stopped for a moment, looking at her guests one by one. She saw that all three were emotional.

"Anita, we have hoped for this so much, for Rosalie, for other children, but also for ourselves. Bea and I both have jobs, financial and administrative. We earn enough to live from it, all fine, but it doesn't have our hearts. We have been searching for some time to find what we could really enjoy. And we found out that we enjoy Rosalie, herself, she is a beautiful girl, but also how she develops, how she finds her own way in the maze of everything that exists and at most needs some guidance or help with that. And we both experienced, independently of each other, that we actually had a deep desire to guide not only her but also other children in this way. When we discovered this, we started brainstorming: what exactly do we want, why do we want it this way, what should it look like in practice and how do we achieve this? All those kinds of questions. It was intense, but also great fun, it strengthened our desire. And now you have said 'yes' to our desire, and 'yes' to Rosalie and..."

"And 'yes' to me!" intervened Ineke.

Anita laughed: "I think we have embarked on a very good path, you especially, and I like the fact that I can contribute something to that. Your centre will remain under educational inspection. It is not a school, and yet in a way it is education, and also because of compulsory education. So, the education inspector will come by every now and then to observe and talk to you. Nothing serious, but I think you just need to know that so it doesn't overwhelm you. And then I have a comment about subsidy. As long as the system is as it is now, subsidy is not possible, unfortunately. So the expenses are for the parents or whoever you get donations from.

I will prepare the papers for both the permission for the centre and the exemption for Rosalie and send them to you. Do you have any questions?"

"I don't," Bea responded, "I'm just very happy, and I want to thank you for this conversation and for being behind us."

"I agree with that," Ineke complemented.

"And so do I," said Patrick. "We still have a lot to do before the centre can actually start, but this feels like we've already taken a big bump. It was pretty exciting for all three of us anyway."

"Oh yes, I understand that, you just have to wait and see who you get opposite you and how that person stands in it, whether he or she can understand it. That's how it is, right? I wish you the best of luck with the construction, the organisation. Before building, if you are going to build new, don't forget to apply for a building permit from the municipality. Or do you already have a building in mind?"

"No, we want to build in our backyard. We have a garden that's far too big and we are not very fond of gardening. This seems like the nicest thing to do, nice and close to what we love to do."

"I see, like your life feels more unified. Do you mean something like that?"

"Yes, nicely described! You feel it very well, just like that!"

"Beautiful, I enjoyed having this conversation. It felt good! You will still get notification from me, the official permission and exemption!"

Cheerful and grateful, they said goodbye and headed back to Bloemenhof. Together, they dropped in on Huib and Margreet. The first one they saw was Rosalie running towards them: "Do I have to go to school?"

Bea caught her and exclaimed: "Nooooooo, you don't have to go to school! You get to go to the discovery centre with us!"

Rosalie cheered, wriggled out of her mother's arms again, ran into the room and shouted dancing, "I don't have to go to school, I'm going to the discovery centre! Yoepieeeee!"

To chapter 33. Discovering in the kitchen

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