Marianne sat in her office and had quite a hard time to get going. She got up and headed for another cup of coffee. That was so nice with Johan, the moment the court had decided that she would become Johan's personal secretary and correspondent, he had bought a coffee machine to celebrate. He had it set up here in her office, saying, he would love it if she came and brought a cup of coffee every now and then. If not, he would come and get it. No, they hadn't made any such arrangements. If he felt like coffee, he just came. And if she felt like surprising him with it, she just did.

With the coffee mug in her hands, she paced around the room. Johan would not appear in court today, nor tomorrow. He would spend these two days with his wife and daughter.

Marianne smiled at the memory. Yesterday, she was about to go to work, when she was sure inside that she had to go by Johan and Marieke. To her surprise, Ellen had arrived there just before her. Johan and Marieke were still downstairs, but it would not take long for them to go upstairs. Marieke was clearly having contractions and they were quietly coming on faster. While Marianne and Ellen gave Marieke some distraction, Johan started getting everything ready for the delivery. It had surprised her that he was so calm. He seemed to oversee everything, he seemed to have years of experience!

During labour, Marianne had stayed downstairs with Ellen. They had talked quietly, listened to the sounds upstairs and scrolled on their mobiles. They had both jumped up when they heard a baby crying just after noon. Over half an hour later, Johan appeared in the living room.

"Ladies, may I invite you to come and admire our dear Vlinder?"

"Yes please! Did you really name her Vlinder?"

"Yes indeed, she is a Butterfly, will be a Butterfly and that is why she is called Vlinder!" *)

They dashed upstairs as fast as they could to the bedroom, where Marieke was waiting for them beaming.

"Look at her, such a cutie!" she whispered.

Marianne and Ellen crowded next to the bed to get a good look.

"Yes, you can't say anything else about her. Unbelievable that just an hour ago she was stuck..." sighed Ellen.

"Well, and that she had been curled up more and more clamped over the last few weeks. They say babies are ugly after birth. Then they haven't seen Vlinder yet," Marianne thought.

"Huh, let them stay away, they don't need to see our Vlinder for their scientific investigations and journalism! I hate science and journalism so much. It seems like those people all have a plate in front of their heads!"

Marianne nodded, she couldn't handle it either, these were two worlds filled with lies. At least, that's how she experienced it.

"But something else," Marianne said, "how are you? And how did the delivery go?"

"Piece of cake! No, it wasn't, it was quite intense, very intense at the end, but it was manageable with Johan's support. In hindsight... I don't think it was a birth according to the book, but better than that book says!"

"I think so too," said Johan, who had sat down on the other side of the bed. "It amazed me how you went through it relatively smoothly and quite relaxed. Which does not alter the fact that I also saw what mean contractions there were in between. Girl, girl, how sorry I was for you! I'm glad that's over. Would you girls like some coffee or tea? Then I'll get that before I start cleaning up in the bathroom."

They had made it a cosy half-hour. Then they did notice that Marieke needed a few hours' rest, and they both went home. Outside, by their cars, Marianne and Ellen had hugged each other.

"Congratulations on our friendship daughter!" had Ellen laughed.

"Nice word," Marianne had said, "we'll add that to the dictionary next year!"

Laughing, they had said goodbye.

.

The phone called Marianne to order. She put her still half-full mug on the table, sat down and picked up the phone. Before she had properly introduced herself, she heard an enthusiastic voice on the other end: "Hey Marianne, Jeroen Terlouw speaking! About a year ago I visited you to interview Johan. I understand you were bombarded with a mountain of correspondence after that. Can you remember me?"

"Yes, as you spoke, the memories surfaced. Your name was vaguely familiar, but I didn't see a face with it at first. Now I think I do, blond hair in little curls down to your shoulders, green eyes, pointed nose... do you recognise your reflection in that?" responded Marianne ad rem.

"My reflection?"

"Yes, your reflection, or are you able to see yourself directly? I can't do that, mind you, I only know my appearance from my reflection, and how my skin feels by stroking it with my fingertips. Another way to know my face, I've never known."

Oh, what am I saying, Marianne thought. This is not how I know myself at all! Why am I doing this, to a journalist for goodness sake! Yesterday she had agreed with Marieke so much, she didn't like scientists and journalists either. And this Jeroen was... journalist! Such a pencil pusher, or no, nowadays a fanatical typer, of course. Her thoughts ran away with her as Jeroen continued talking, feeling after a while, that he wasn't really being heard.

"Tell me, Marianne, are you busy today? I'm in the neighbourhood and would like to come and ask you some questions about the wave of correspondence that has been going on since my interview with Johan. Would it be convenient if I... say in fifteen minutes would come to join you?"

Marianne was startled when she heard her name, listened on confused ... an interview with her? She still had her reservations when it came to men, but suddenly a memory surfaced, a memory of Maurice and Jacqueline's visit. She had lost her shield, she was allowed to act on her impressions.

Slowly, she began to speak, meanwhile trying to sense whether she would do well to be in her office with that journalist.

"Let's think... I do have a pile of correspondence to answer... but yes, those people don't know when it's their message's turn, so yes, come on over and we'll talk through your questions!"

"Super! I'm looking forward to it, looking forward to seeing you again! See you!" ended Jeroen the conversation.

Dazed, Marianne looked at the phone.

"He's looking forward to seeing me again?" she wondered in surprise. "Well, tough blabbermouth..."

She drank the last bit of coffee, grabbed her shoulder bag and went to the toilet. She looked in the mirror, grabbed her brush and ran it through her hair. She had curls of her own, but different from Jeroen's. Her curls were coarser, and brown in colour. The length of her hair was about the same as his, down to her shoulders. She looked into her brown eyes and smiled. The dimples she was already expecting appeared in her cheeks.

She put her brush back in her bag, and walked back to her office. She was almost at the door when she heard him.

"Marianne!" His footsteps were fast approaching. To her shock, her heart jumped up and she started breathing faster.

When she turned around, he was already almost beside her. He gave her a hand, and put his other hand on her shoulder. "You look as gorgeous as last year! Tell me, where do you have your workspace? That door over there that you walked straight to?"

She nodded, literally and figuratively speechless, and preceded him to her office.

She recovered and asked, "Fancy some coffee?"

"Real coffee? Wow, you have such a nice machine! Yes, nice, then I do feel like coffee. You don't want to know how often I get dregs to drink. I must have a super strong stomach that it can take all that!"

By now, he was standing next to the coffee machine as she operated it. She felt him watching her, looked at him nervously for a moment. You see, he was unabashedly taking her in, with a smile on his face. A sweet smile, though... He looked good, not only physically, but also his appearance.

She startled when he stroked her cheek with his fingertips, looked at him with wide eyes.

"You don't need to be afraid Marianne, I would never hurt you, in any way. But you know, you described it so beautifully over the phone, about your reflection, and about stroking your skin with your fingertips, that you had come to know your own face that way."

Setting the mug he had just accepted from her down next to the coffee machine, he placed the fingertips of his other hand on her other cheek, caressed her skin with the fingertips of both hands, over her cheeks, along her jaw, back up to her forehead, along her hairline.

She noticed that her eyes tended to close. She tried to keep them open, to keep an eye on him, but noticed again, that she had really surrendered her shield. She gave in to the delicious, intensely tingling sensation he caused and heaved a deep sigh as he gently grabbed her head with both hands and placed a caressing kiss on her forehead.

A deep sigh escaped from her mouth, her eyes opened slowly. She looked at him, saw that he was watching her with a loving gaze. And suddenly there were those other words from Jacqueline. 'Don't be worried when your soulmate comes. Don't be afraid to let him into your heart. You are going to make a tremendously strong team!'

Marianne knew with great certainty that it was him, Jeroen Terlouw. And at that discovery, she smiled.

"Come, let's sit over there in that cosy corner," she invited him.

He walked behind her to the cosy seat, taking in, absorbing her entire appearance! She, Marianne Aalbers... he had known last time, but had also known intuitively that the time was not yet ripe.

They sat down, whereupon he spoke up. "For about a year I had to make do with a memory of you, of your looks, your voice. Last year, when I saw you, I knew it, that one day you would be mine, not as my possession, but as my beloved, the woman I would cherish and love, whom I would help when she needed it, and... oh everything, I wanted to do everything for you even then, if only you would come to your full bloom. And a few days ago there suddenly came such a deep certainty that now was the time to visit you, to tell you what I already felt last year. Marianne, may I capture your heart?"

Marianne tried with all her might to make her lower lip stop trembling, but could not get it to do so. And in an uncertain voice, she said, "Yes, incredible that I say it, but... yes, you may try to capture my heart!"

"Try? I wasn't planning to try, but to do it! Yes, I'm a bit very confident about this. What I felt last year when I saw you, I felt even more strongly now. I haven't had such a magnetic connection with any other person. So... agreed, I'm going on the warpath, with your heart as my goal."

Marianne laughed, allowing all the tension to slip off her.

"You are quite a handsome guy! Shall I confess something to you? Johan and Marieke became parents yesterday to a beautiful baby girl, named Vlinder. I was at their house, along with Ellen, our regular lawyer. We were allowed to visit Marieke almost immediately after giving birth. But anyway, that's not what my confession is about. Marieke said something about scientists and journalists, that she hated them so much because they all seemed to have a plate in front of their heads. And I so agreed with her, I can't do anything with scientists and journalists. I have read and heard so much, and those two worlds seem to be so full of lies... So far my confession, good start to your war! What are you planning to do about it?"

Marianne marvelled at herself for speaking so openly to a journalist. It was by no means flattering what she had said.

She saw that Jeroen was looking at her with a big grin, seemed to find her story entertaining. He came to sit on the edge of his chair and leaned over to her. He squeezed his eyes to slits, and Marianne realised that in the past she would have braced herself for what might come, but now she was actually enjoying this silly confrontation.

Jeroen looked at her sternly with his half-closed eyes and said, "Shall I tell you something, dear smart-ass? You're absolutely right!"

He sat back relaxed again and smiled flat out. "What you mentioned, a world brimming with lies... that was exactly why I started hating my profession shortly after I interviewed Johan. That was quite a process! I seriously wondered if I still wanted to continue with it! And then it came to my mind, that I had chosen this job with the intention of telling readers and listeners the truth. Oh yes, I also suffered from being dragged into that world of deception, of bribery, of lying messages. I would love to destroy all my own articles and reports of interviews in which I twisted the other person's words! But it would be to no avail, because they are stored with my employer... But what I can do, and what I am determined to do, is to find out the truth about our lives here in the Netherlands and further afield, and make honest accounts of it. So yes, I totally agree with you. I have left that world behind me."

"But how do you think you can do that with your current employer? I assume he won't accept that, right?" Marianne asked, concerned with her whole heart.

"True, he already smelt a rat and called me a few months ago. I struggled for a few days, because of the income I would miss out on if I continued independently. I got in touch with a photographer who had taken a similar step, had also continued on his own. And we experienced that we have a soul connection, especially in terms of our work, our vision. And now we've been sort of business partners for some time. Great to work with that guy! Eric Schouten, is his name. Have you ever seen pictures of him?"

Marianne shook her head thoughtfully. "His name is vaguely familiar to me, but I don't remember any photos of him. Do you have some on your mobile? Or can I find them on the internet?"

Jeroen already had his mobile with it, came and sat on the chair rail with her and showed her a few photos. There were a few she recognised, and several that she immediately realised showed something you wouldn't come across in most other pictures in the media. With each photo, she told what she felt, what she thought, what she recognised, what struck her.

"You are lucky to have such a colleague, you are good with him, obviously!" she concluded after a hefty series of pictures.

She felt something in her hair and looked up, suddenly her face was very close to Jeroen's face.

"You smell nice, a fresh scent," he said, leaning a little further towards her. Very gently, very carefully, his lips touched hers. He kept looking at her meanwhile and saw that it surprised her, but by the looks of it, not in a nasty way.

"I have this week off, might at most keep up with some things on my laptop or get a phone call once. Johan is not here today..."

"... And not tomorrow either," Marianne complemented.

He smiled mischievously. "Shall we sneak out together for two days so we can see how quickly I can win your heart?"

"That does sound very tempting, but... what do you want to do?"

"Do? Enchant you," he said with a roguish face.

Marianne couldn't hold back a burst of laughter, even gave into it completely.

"Yes, enchant! Did you bring your magic suitcase?"

"Yes, in the boot of the car. Well no, silly girl, my soul has all the magic I need. Are you going with me?"

"Yes but..." Suddenly she jumped up. "Good idea, if it has to come to it, preferably now, then Johan won't be bothered by my not being there either. I'll send him a message, so he knows we have to hit it triple hard the day after tomorrow!"

Jeroen laughed: "Then I'll have to do everything I can these two days to charge you hard, otherwise you won't make it!"

"And how did you intend to do that?" she asked, defiantly raising her chin.

"I assure you, if I manage to capture your heart before the sun sets, you will be more than adequately charged the day after tomorrow. The only thing that could bother you in your work then, is that your thoughts will be on me all day, instead of all that correspondence..."

Marianne laughed, grabbed her bag, plucked her coat from the coat rack and threw it over her arm. "Just practically, are you by car too?" she asked.

"Yes, shall we take my car and drive around quietly first?" he asked.

"Okay, do you want to visit something, or..."

"No sweetheart, apart from you I don't need to visit anything in particular. I know this region like the back of my hand, having grown up here and still living here. I think more about touring, with the roof open a bit, sitting down somewhere and especially chatting with you a lot. You have changed, Marianne. Last year you kept me very much at a distance, and rightly so, because I'm life-threatening, but I'm surprised at how spontaneous and open you are now. How can that be?"

As he spoke, he took her to his car, a Volkswagen Beetle Cabrio. Marianne let out a surprised cry. "Is this your car? Fantastic! I have always liked those Volkswagen Beetles so much, and this Beetle was, to my mind, an incredibly beautiful updated version of them! And then a cabrio..."

Jeroen thoroughly enjoyed her enthusiasm. He opened the door on the passenger side for her and invited her to get in. She grinned mischievously, and the moment he thought she would get in, she quickly leaned towards him to give him a kiss. "Not much more is needed, Mr. Heartconqueror!"

"Because of that car?" he asked, seemingly disappointed.

"No, by you yourself, how you tell, how you act... and that click you felt, I felt too, magnetically, yes something like that. But, before I forget, a very different thing. Over the phone you indicated that you wanted to interview me about that wave of correspondence..."

Jeroen had walked over, got behind the wheel and looked at her mischievously. "That interview was just something to win you over. And yes, I want to ask you questions, not about that correspondence but about yourself, because I want to get to know you inside out!"

He started the engine and drove quietly out of the car park. Meanwhile, he let the roof open a little. "If you find it too chilly, just indicate it, and I'll stop for a moment so you can put on your jacket," he said.

"Maybe that would be handy anyway. I'm not cold yet, but I do feel the wind is fresh," she replied.

Jeroen looked for a place to pull the car over for a while. They both got out to put on their coats and got back into the car. He drove away, out of the town, into the hills. As they talked to each other about all sorts of things, Marianne felt increasingly comfortable with Jeroen. She remembered his question about why she had changed so much and returned to it. She told of her reticence, that she had been cautious about relationships because she had had to go through so many years of her parents' so-called relationship, the fights, the harsh words. She told of the shield, which she had handed in to Jacqueline. She shared what it had done to her, how she could trust her inner self more and therefore go with him, allow him into her heart. Jeroen threw his car to the side and applied the brakes full force.

"Say that again, Marianne..." he said breathlessly.

"Because I no longer protect myself with a hardened shield, but follow my inner self, I can now allow you into my heart. Last year I couldn't, now I can."

"Do you mean by that..." he hesitated.

"That you have already succeeded, that you have captivated my heart," she smiled, holding out her hand and playing with his curls. "I never imagined that this could be possible, I was completely sure to myself that I would always be alone. Not that I wanted to, but because I didn't dare let anyone get close."

"Wow... I feel like getting out and lying there in the grass with you, enjoying each other's presence, talking, talking, talking. I think we are both good at that," he smiled. "Shall we?"

Marianne nodded, with a beaming face. Jeroen closed the car roof again, and with a "feel free to leave your purse in the car, I'll lock the car" he got out, and a moment later held the door open for her. Marianne got out and looked at him, overwhelmed by the love radiating from his eyes.

"Just a little more, and my heart will give out," she whispered.

Jeroen put his hand between the front of her neck and her breasts, feeling her heart racing fast and hard.

"Your heart has some skills, what a raging roll, that heart of yours! Come..."

He grabbed her hand, locked the car and took her to the meadow.

"Look at that, not a human being or a cow for miles. Together we are alone in the world, that's how it feels. How does that feel to you?"

Marianne smiled: "That feels like 'it can't get any better!' "

"No more fear or insecurity?"

"No, I am yours, I belong to you, and I choose to trust you because deep down I feel I can."

Tears sprang to his eyes as he grabbed her by her shoulders. "Such surrender... I didn't expect that from you, didn't dare to hope, especially that."

As he continued to look deep into her eyes, he put his hands behind her neck and slowly pulled her towards him. He kissed her, butterfly-like, and she caressed his lips with her lips, running the tip of her tongue along his lips. He opened his mouth ajar, allowing her tongue to enter and explore his mouth. Her tongue played with his, circling it and withdrawing. She took a little distance, looked at him. She saw what she felt, an intense love. She felt overwhelmed, couldn't comprehend it for a moment. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body against him, laying her head against his shoulder.

"Oh girl, my sweet girl..." Jeroen whispered. "I knew love existed, but what I knew represents nothing to what I am experiencing now. Such deep love for you that it hurts my ribcage. He kissed her passionately in her hair, her neck. She let her head fall back slightly as his mouth moved to the front of her neck while kissing. He kissed her neck, her face, gently nibbled her jaw, and went back to her neck. He noticed she was going limp, leaning almost fully on him. He laid her lovingly on the grass, where he continued kissing her, her neck, her V-neck in to almost between her breasts. She put a hand at the bottom of her V-neck and looked at him.

"I'm not going any further you know, out here we keep our clothes on," he reassured her. "I want to caress you everywhere, but not expose you to possible passers-by. You are far too precious and too dear to me for that." He sealed his words with a long kiss.

Sensing both of them that these caresses made a desire glow in them, they went on another tour without agreeing anything. They teased each other, tickled each other, challenged each other with words, and it wasn't long before they were rolling through the grass like a pair of young dogs, yelling out with fun.

.

Marianne thoroughly enjoyed Jeroen's presence, the intimate and the funny, the serious and the loving. Everything about him felt so familiar that she had no problem inviting him into her home, even to stay the night with her.

They caressed and explored each other, in the living room, in the bedroom, in the shower, and didn't fall asleep that night until well after midnight.

.

Marianne was the first to wake up. The first thing she saw were Jeroen's beautiful curls. The first thing she heard was his heavy breathing.

She let the past twenty-four hours pass through her mind and realised that everything that had happened was incredibly more and more beautiful than she had ever dreamed. She snuck out of bed, got dressed in the bathroom and went to the kitchen to make coffee. As the machine was grinding the coffee beans, without seeing or hearing him, she felt Jeroen approaching, standing behind her. He tucked his nose in her hair and put his arms around her waist.

"I was looking forward to waking up and finding you beside me. But your side was empty... girl girl..."

Marianne chuckled. "I was wide awake at once, saw your beautiful curls and heard such deep breathing. I didn't want to wake you up, you see?"

"You are a sweetheart," he said, letting his hand disappear under her shirt and place it over her breast. "My darling," he whispered, teasing her nipple.

"Oh Jeroen..." Marianne moaned. She tried to turn around, but he stopped her. Instead of stopping teasing, he also started gently pinching and stroking her other nipple. It didn't take long, before Marianne was writhing in his arms.

"I don't want to make love to you on the floor, much too hard. Can you come up the stairs yet?"

He got an unintelligible moan in reply, turned her towards him and put her over his shoulder. "Parcel post!" he said chuckling and walked up the stairs with her. Upstairs, he laid her on the bed, where they made love again, over and over again.

.

The next night too, Jeroen decided to stay with her. As they sat on the sofa drinking their last cup of coffee for the night, he asked, "This house, is this your home, does it feel like your home?"

She looked at him nodding.

"That makes me glad, because my apartment doesn't suit you at all and frankly it doesn't suit me either."

"Then move here tomorrow, dear fellow. Why stay there anymore? This is your home," Marianne replied. "Home in my house, home with me."

He smiled in love. "I couldn't have expressed it better!"

.

The next day, Jeroen accompanied her to court because he wanted to share several things with Johan, the changes in his work, and the even bigger changes in his love life.

Johan, after the message he had received from Marianne the day before yesterday, an announcement that she had taken two days off to hang out with Jeroen Terlouw, was not surprised to see them entering the hall of the court together. As soon as he had read her message, he had known that Jeroen was the one for her. The soulmate that Jacqueline had already briefly referred to.

He smiled at Jeroen and Marianne as they approached.

"Good morning together, and congratulations! I've experienced Marianne in all kinds of emotional states, but so bright? No, that's the first time. I'm happy for you guys! And you both get regards from Marieke. We both felt after your note that it was good, you together. And so now she is furiously curious... She asked me to invite you for dinner tonight. It will be a simple meal, because Marieke is taking it easy for now. And although Ellen comes every day, also for her own distraction, we don't really want to put her to work. How long are you free, Jeroen?"

"The whole week, and I need it to move too."

"Ha, that's true soulmate love!" laughed Johan.

They had walked to Marianne's office while talking, where he set the coffee machine to work.

"So if I understand correctly, you are moving in with Marianne, and not the other way around?"

"Oh no, not the other way around! My apartment definitely doesn't suit me, has never felt like my home. And both of us do experience Marianne's house as our home. So choosing her house was simple!"

As they sat together over coffee, Jeroen recounted the past year, how he had come to a kind of repentance precisely because of his interview with Johan, discovered that he had slipped within his workfield, slipped away from the truth, and muddled along with lies instilled from on high.

"I am now working with Eric Schouten, a photographer who has made it his mission to use his photographs to expose the truth to the public. And I do the same, but with words, mostly written words, but also increasingly with videos, so that people can hear directly how the other person speaks, what the other person speaks. I would like to record such a video with you too, maybe even with you together. How does that sound to you?"

"Cool that you ask. In fact, it has crossed my mind before, but I have never done anything with it until now. Yes, I would like to participate in that. Will Eric do the recording then?"

"Yes, he's good with video too. And you Marianne, would you also like to participate?"

"Is there an audience too?"

Jeroen shook his head: "No, if you participate, it's just the three of us at the table talking and Eric is there to record the whole thing. If you're not sure yet, feel free to take a few days to think about it."

"No, that's not necessary. If there's no audience, I'm happy to do it."

Jeroen threw her a kissing hand and thanked them both. He stood up.

"Dear people, then I will go ahead and start the move. Fortunately, I only have to take the furniture from my workspace with me. The rest I will try to sell. And if that doesn't work out before the end of this month, then the van from the thrift shop can come and pick it up."

Marianne also stood up, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. "Good luck tough guy! I'm curious to see how I find my house this afternoon..."

He smiled, "I'll try to keep things in one piece. What time shall I pick you up?"

"Usually we finish around half past four," he said.

"Then you'll see me appear around that time. Bye sweetheart, I love you!"

After a kiss, he walked out of the room with a wave of his arm.

Johan looked at his colleague-girlfriend smiling. "I'm really happy for you Marianne, this is just so incredibly beautiful!"

.

.

*) Vlinder is the Dutch word for Butterfly

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