As Lisa had something else to do this morning, Margreet went to The Shelter to see if replenishment was needed for the pantry. This turned out not really to be the case. The few things that needed replenishing could wait until the shopping list was longer.

Ineke entered the central living room and greeted Margreet warmly: "Extra nice to see you this morning, because I want to ask you something, about that girl who always comes for Gloria, Rosemarie or something?"

"Yes, Rosalie, that's Gloria's friend. Such a nice kid yeah, wonderfully free! What do you want to know?"

Ineke briefly explained what she had talked to Bianca about. "So I am very curious to know what that girl is like, and how she works. I would love to experience her once and maybe make a bold move and go to see her parents. I would so love to know more about children's self-discovery, self-development. I have a little hope, that something like that is just what for me, not teaching children, but at most guiding them a bit or so, helping them where needed? I know too little about it yet, so I'd like to know more!"

"So basically, you want to get to know both Rosalie and her parents. To start with, shall I call you when Rosalie comes back to us? Then you just come over too and you can see and hear how she interacts with Gloria, what she does and so on."

"I would like that yes, but I still have a fear of walking across the field. Would you like to meet me then or something? Sorry, I really don't dare otherwise..."

"Doesn't matter at all, you've been through enough to be afraid. If I call you, and you want to come, I'll walk towards you, no problem. You'll hear from me! And Huib talked about wanting to talk to Rosalie's parents. Shall I ask him if you can come along?"

"That's totally exciting, I don't think I dare at the moment. I would like to, but..."

"Another idea: shall I ask him to invite them to our place sometime?"

"That will work out then," Ineke said with relief.

"And if it doesn't work out at that time, I can pick you up again and bring you home," Margreet thought.

Ineke nodded gratefully, "Really nice of you to help me get over those thresholds."

"I'm happy to do that! I'm going home again, just a bit more sewing."

"Okay, have fun! See you later!"

.

Just before lunch, Rosalie arrived again.

"Can I have lunch with you, Margreet?"

"Yes, cozy! I'll set the table later, I have to make a phone call to someone."

Margreet grabbed her mobile and typed in Ineke's number. "Would you like to come over for lunch? I have a visit from a jolly young lady!"

Ineke decided to take the plunge, whereupon Margreet went outside to meet her. She saw that Ineke was already coming out, constantly looking around and walking towards Margreet.

Relieved, she said, "That's already a step forward! When I went to see Bianca yesterday, I went for a run!"

"One step further each time," Margreet said.

"Yes, but sometimes I also feel like I'm regressing considerably. And that doesn't feel nice, that makes me feel like I'll never come out of it, that I'll never be able to live independently again or something, but Huib said that's not a step back, but a step deeper, a layer deeper in healing."

Margreet nodded: "I think he's right about that. You get stronger and stronger, also by digging deeper or going deeper through things. So you're really going to get there! And what I also think is a good sign is that you dare to look ahead again, dare to look for what suits you, what you would really like to do later on."

"Yes," nodded Ineke, "you are right about that. I couldn't do that a few weeks ago by any means!"

Inside, they discovered, Rosalie was already sitting at the table, and that she had set the table for lunch.

"Hi," she said to Ineke, "I'm Rosalie, I get to eat here today."

"How nice, me too. And my name is Ineke. I live in that house behind Sjaak and Lisa, nearby."

"I live nearby too, I can get from my house here and back by myself. I always just have to tell Patrick or Bea, otherwise they don't know where I am."

Ineke looked at her questioningly: "Patrick or Bea? Who are they?"

"My mum and dad, their names are Patrick and Bea. We haven't lived here for very long, we used to live in another place. There I always had to go to school, but I hated it. I'm glad I don't have to go to school now. I learn by myself, which is much more fun. Then I can choose for myself, and I can also learn much faster than at school."

Ineke nodded: "I can imagine you like that better. And what do you learn at home now?"

"Shall I tell you later? I think I'll just go and call Huib. That silly one, he always again forgets the time."

"Can I walk with you?" asked Ineke.

"Sure!" Rosalie jumped up. "Come on!"

Margreet looked questioningly at Ineke, who gave her a wink and nodded reassuringly. Margreet watched them, seeing Rosalie telling whole stories and Ineke sometimes saying something back. A little later, she saw them coming back with Huib.

"Huib forgot again, you know," Rosalie said, "he says his work is too much fun, then he forgets he has to eat."

"That's better than me hating my job, Rosalie, it's nice to be able to do what you really love!"

"That's true, I'm going to write books later. That's what I like best. What do you like most about your work, Ineke?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I think something with children. That's why I like having you here."

Rosalie smiled. "You are a good listener. And you are not treating me like a little child, you act very normal to me, I like that."

Ineke smiled at her. "I learnt to be a primary school teacher, but I didn't really like it. I did internships at a few schools, practised to become a teacher, and I just felt that that was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life."

"So what kind of work did you go into after that?"

"Work that I found much worse. I hadn't chosen that work, someone forced me to do it." Ineke was unsure how to talk about it, but Rosalie was already asking.

"Did you have to do something like Lisa did? Lisa was forced too, and she didn't like it at all."

Ineke nodded: "Yes, just like Lisa, and I hated it."

Rosalie was thinking, forgot to butter her sandwich, and then pronounced what she was thinking about: "Patrick and Bea love each other. The like to cuddle with each other. They also love me, and they also like cuddling me. And I like that too. Patrick once said to me, that he wouldn't do that to me if I didn't like it. He then told more, about nude cuddling, that it wouldn't be nice if other people force you to do that. You should only do that if you love someone very much. He loves Bea very much. Do you ever do it too Huib? You love Margreet a lot. Do you also sometimes cuddle naked?"

Huib looked at her in surprise, but answered without hesitation. "Definitely, I love Margreet a lot and I love cuddling with her. Also naked yes. I'm not sure if Margreet likes that," he teased her.

Rosalie looked at Margreet, who blushingly replied, "Huib is a villain, Rosalie, he knows very well that I like it."

Rosalie smiled at Margreet and continued with her sandwich. "Can I have the cheese, Huib?"

"Here you go young lady," Huib said, handing her the cheese. "And here the cheese slicer."

Margreet imperceptibly kept an eye on Rosalie to keep her fingers away from the cheese slicer and otherwise let her do it nicely by herself.

"Your slices are much nicer. I only have those little thin skins," Rosalie grumbled. "How do you do that?"

"Practice girl, try again and again, and it will get better and better. Push a little harder with the cheese slicer, but keep your fingers out of the way, otherwise you'll eat free meat with it."

"Bah!" cried Rosalie, "that's really nasty!"

"I'll just walk up," Margreet interrupted the cheese conversation, "I hear Gloria." And to Rosalie, who immediately wanted to jump up: "Go on quietly, she'll join you in a minute!"

"Can't I come upstairs with you? I can eat my sandwich later when Gloria drinks with you, right?"

Margreet thought briefly: "Good thinking, we can do it that way too, just walk along."

A few minutes later, they both returned happily with an equally happy baby.

"Huib, will you prepare another sandwich for me?" asked Margreet, "then I can feed Gloria in the meantime."

"I can do that, I have to finish buttering my own sandwich anyway, then I'll do yours right away," Rosalie responded before Huib could say anything. "What do you want on it, Margreet?"

"A bit of butter and cheese please," Margreet replied with a grin. "At what age does a child become an adult again?"

"I already am, always have been," Rosalie muttered as she spread the butter on Margreet's sandwich. "So, I can nicely practice with that cheese slicer again..."

With her tongue slightly out of her mouth, she did her utmost to cut a nice slice for Margreet.

"Too bad, the last part went wrong, but the rest is good. I know what, just wait and see..."

Again she made another attempt, again almost completely nice and tight. She laid that half over the previous slice.

"That's the advantage of having someone who can't cut it very well yet, you get more! Now for the other half of the sandwich."

And again she laid two three-quarter slices half over each other.

"Done!" She put the cheese and the slicer away and picked up Margreet's cutlery. She cut strips and morsels of it, pricked a morsel on the fork and held it out to Margreet. Margreet took the piece off her fork, smiling, and thanked Rosalie. Gloria, who saw some passing by, looked at Rosalie.

"Would you like a sandwich too, Gloria? Just kidding, you can have a nice drink with Margreet, go ahead!" she urged Gloria, gently prodding Margreet's breast with her finger. "Here, Gloria, yes, good!" and to the others: "She knows best, but she wants to join us. I can understand that, she is small, but she also wants to be an adult. Isn't she yet? When will she grow up?"

Rosalie looked around the circle. Huib responded, "Her body is still small, small like that of a small child, but her soul is grown up."

Rosalie actually stayed quiet for a while, thinking visibly, as she put a piece of her own sandwich in her mouth and chewed it slowly. Quietly she looked at Huib and said, "It's not fair, an adult soul in a child's body. A soul is trapped in a child's body. Me too, I want more than I can do. My body is also still quite small, and I think it gets in the way. Bad luck, can't be helped, just keep going. I'll grow up naturally, and so will Gloria."

Those around her were silent at so much wisdom. Huib was the first to respond: "You are right, sometimes I feel that a soul in an adult body has still bad luck. I sometimes feel that my soul doesn't belong in a body like this at all. I don't know how it is, but my body sometimes feels like a hindrance."

"A soul should be able to fly, fly without wings, just float," Rosalie muttered, taking another bite.

.

An hour later, under Rosalie's watchful eye, Margreet put Gloria back in her cradle. Rosalie grabbed the duvet and put it over Gloria.

"No, Gloria, I won't put it too high, it's much too warm. So, I'll tuck him in a bit at the sides. Are you comfortable?"

Rosalie took her hand and gave it a kiss. "Go to sleep and I'll come back to you later. Bye sweetheart, I love you!"

For a moment the girls looked intensely at each other, then Rosalie walked over to Margreet. "Have you eaten enough now?" she asked worriedly.

"No, I'll have another sandwich in a minute. I'll be fine."

Together they walked downstairs. There Rosalie discovered Ineke.

"Hey Ineke, I forgot for a moment that you were still here," she said.

"Are you coming to sit for a while?" asked Ineke, patting the sofa next to her, "or do you have to go home already?"

"I'll stay for a while. Do you want to talk a bit more?"

"Yes, actually I do. I want to ask you something... I know from Margreet that you are not in school, but that you do learn. Would you like to tell me about that, about what you learn and how you do it?"

"Oh yes, that's fun! Learning is fun! I learnt to read with booklets from the library. Then Bea, my mother, started typing stories for me, but I preferred booklets, real children's books. And I read those now. It's funny, the teachers at the library didn't understand it at first, because I came alone, and because they thought I took far too difficult books with me. I did read a bit to them once. Now they call me the library's bookworm, isn't that funny? And Patrick showed me how to search for things on the computer. I have my own laptop now, otherwise he couldn't get on the computer enough for work. If I want to know something, I look it up on the laptop. I also looked up the writing letters. I don't like those letters with loops, I prefer to write those other ones, block letters. That works fine, and I can already do it quite neatly. But typing goes better, much faster. And I find it easy, typing, because I can always correct mistakes straight away. Sometimes I make a story, actually always about an animal. I saw a tiny fly on our table. I looked at it, how it walked, what it did. And then I started writing a story about him. I called him Tinyminy, because it was a very tiny fly. I actually want to start writing booklets, also about animals, but then my stories have to be longer. You can't make a book out of two pages, can you?" laughed Rosalie.

"No, that will be a bit of a limp-wristed. But you might be able to put all your stories together in one book. Then make an animal book, something like that."

Rosalie thought for a moment. "That's quite a good idea, but I still wish I could write some longer stories. Otherwise children don't like it anyway, then the story has just started, and then it's already over! I still want to discover how to write more about the animal, more about how he feels, I think. Actually, I just really want to get to know them, and tell about that. Yes, that is important, I think that is important, that I really get to know the animals. Only then can I really write well about them. I'll have to think about it some more, how I'm going to do that!"

"It all sounds incredibly fun," thought Ineke. "And numbers, maths, do you ever do anything with that?"

"Yes, I've been playing a bit with building blocks, adding up and stuff. Bea told me you could also subtract, so I did that too. And then I thought I could make groups out of those cubes, equally sized groups, three groups that all have four cubes. Bea called that three times four. I now know that's twelve. Bea said I could learn the tables. I laughed so much! Learning tables! She told me what that was. Do you know what it is?"

Ineke nodded: "Yes, I learnt that, when I was at school."

"Did you learn all those rows?"

"Yes, did you?"

"A few I did, then I got fed up. I can do math quickly. Just name me one of those table sums."

"Let me think... how much is six times nine?"

As Rosalie counted the number of groups on her fingers, she said, "Nine, eighteen, twenty-seven, thirty-six, forty-five, fifty-four!"

"Big creeps! You're really quick with it!"

"Yes, I didn't like it at first, but now I do. But writing, writing stories is what I like best. Do you want any more questions? Otherwise, I'll go home and write a story. I'm looking forward to it!"

"Do that, we'll see each other another time," Ineke promised.

"Is okay! Bye! Bye Margreet! Has Huib gone to the barn yet?"

"I think so," said Margreet.

"I'll walk by, bye!"

Rosalie hopped out through the scullery and waved once more.

"If I'm completely honest," said Ineke, "I'm baffled by her, but mostly completely thrilled by how she handles things, how she seems to learn. I love it!"

To chapter 19. Desires from Patrick and Bea

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