On the way home, Sjaak tried to think about what it would be like if Lisa were always with him. And what it would be like, to be there for her in such a way that she would really feel loved. In fact, he did not want her to go to the attic at all. He wanted to keep her with him.
On a whim, he made her a proposal, "Would you like to help unload at home?"
Lisa nodded, eagerly, "Well yes, let's do that! Can you drive that pickup around the estate?"
"Preferably not across the field, but a path along the edge of the estate will take us close to my cottage. And to Annerieke's house and further on to Huib and Margreets house, there is also a path, along the other edge of the estate. Erik deliberately had it built that way, so that the garden and the grass stay nice."
"I get it, smart thinking! I'm quite sorry I never knew Erik. He must have been a special man."
"He certainly was. It's hard sometimes to realize he's gone, but we all like to talk about him, and then it's like he's still with us. And when we start building here again soon, Simon will come too. He was Eriks best friend. It must be very confronting for him, coming here for the first time since Eriks death, I think..."
Lisa nodded, "I'm sure it will be, yes."
After the last turn in the path along the estate, the house suddenly became visible.
"Ooooh! What a nice house! Actually not small at all, just only low. It looks really nice, like a vacation home. That veranda at your front yard, I really like it. Do you sit there often in the summer?"
"Oh yes, that's the best place to muse. And I love to muse. That's one of the reasons I love my job. I have all the time there too to let my thoughts take their course."
Smiling, they stepped out. Lisa looked around for a moment, took a deep breath of the fresh air and let her breath escape again with a broad smile on her face. She turned back to Sjaak, saw that he had already opened the flap of the cargo box and had climbed onto it. "Shall I hand you the plants?"
"Yes, go ahead!" She took the plants from him and put them in the grass next to the path.
"The plants for the guest house we'll just put them here too, I'll take them later in the afternoon or tomorrow morning to where I want to put them in the ground. Winter lilacs, nice that you chose those. When those bloom, I imagine myself in a world of perfume!"
Lisa laughed so terribly at that, she hit her knees with laughter! When she straightened up again and saw his puzzled face, she shot back into laughter.
"Sorry Sjaak, it sounded so funny, a gardener, always with his hands in the mud, enjoying a world of perfume! I don't know, but the combination seemed so funny!"
She noticed how he continued to look at her with a slightly tilted head. He didn't look angry, but he wasn't smiling either....
Her smile died on her face. "Sorry Sjaak, did I offend you?"
"Well no, not at all! You just forgot two things. First, a gardener is also just a human being and second, when a gardener is working with his hands in the mud, his nose is a little floor up. I don't know how other gardeners experience it, but I myself love the colors and the smells of the flowers. Those beautiful colors and those wonderful smells feel to me like a reward for my work. I enjoy my work, but it's also hard now and then, and when I can enjoy the results... That's more important to me than my salary!
Lisa looked at him in surprise: "You really mean it huh, I can see it. It moves me how you talk about it, Sjaak. Those gardens really have your heart, so beautiful!"
Sjaak saw that there were tears of emotion in her eyes. Without thinking about it, he walked over to her and stroked her cheek with his index finger to catch an escaped tear.
"Pretty smart of me," he grumbled to himself, "now you have a wipe on your face." He reached into his pocket. "And I don't have a clean handkerchief for you to wipe it off again..."
Lisa smiled, "Doesn't matter ya, it's just a little bit earth. I have a cheeky question: can I see your cottage? Inside?"
"Of course, come with me!" Sjaak went before her, unlocked the door of the utility room. "So this is where I always go in, because I almost always have dirty shoes. Look, Annerieke gave me two pairs of slippers, one pair for here and one pair for the guesthouse. You don't have to take your shoes off, otherwise you'll have to carry on in socks."
"No problem, I’m wearing thick socks and I suspect you have a wooden floor, is that right?" Meanwhile, she took off her shoes.
"Yes, how do you know?"
"You just don't strike me as the type for cold tiles, and in fact not for carpets either. With my thick socks on a wooden floor, I'm sure I won't get cold feet so easily."
She walked behind Sjaak, into the kitchen. "What beautiful cabinets! Did Huib make those?"
Sjaak nodded, "Yes, you can see that, the work of the craftsman!
Lisa stroked with her fingertips over the fine edges, the leaves and flowers that Huib had incorporated. "I really like it, it's so different from what you buy in the store. So delicate, so special, with those leaves and flowers, so really for you."
Sjaak, enjoying her presence, preceded her into the living room, which had a large dining area on the kitchen side. "Do you often have a lot of visitors?"
"No, I never actually sit there. It was Eriks idea..."
He didn't want to go on about Eriks impression, the idea he had long forgotten, but which now resurfaced. He had been there, when Erik had told Huib that his soulmate would come to him, and that it was wise to take several children into account. And right after that Erik had turned around to him, pointed at him and said that the same was true for him. For Huib it had already partly come true, and now for him... it was coming, but it was not yet ready for him to tell Lisa. Later, when the divorce was over....
Yes, Sjaak was a man who took times and seasons into account, not in the strict sense that everything had to be done at a certain time each day, but he knew, thanks to his work, that you could not just do everything at your time, when it suited you. Sometimes you had to wait. After all, you didn't sow and prune all year round, did you?
He turned to the sitting area of the living room. "Would you like to drink something? Then I'll throw some new wood in the fireplace."
"Yeah, cozy, I find fire scary, except when it stays within the walls of a fireplace, then it's beautiful. And nice and warm of course."
Sjaak smiled at her open, honest description and threw two large blocks on the small fire. He poked between them for a moment, and saw how the flames gathered around them to feast on the fresh wood.
Lisa, meanwhile, had walked on through the open ‘gate’ into the adjoining room. She saw the wonderful combination of a double bed and a piano.
"Well, for lack of a floor above, my piano and my bed are at each other's mercy here, and I must say they manage quite well together, no arguing, no whining, no, it's actually going fine!" Sjaak said behind her.
Lisa laughed at his silly story. "But if a floor or maybe two floors are built on top of this soon, I suppose you'll move your bed upstairs?"
"Yeah, seems like it. Will be a hassle though. The bed itself can go up in parts, but a mattress like that. It's a fine mattress, but for such a move upstairs it's a heavy unruly monster!"
"I think so too, but if you can do it with a couple of strong guys, maybe bend it around a bit and put a lashing strap around it? Then it won't be so wide and you'll have more grip too."
"In my opinion, I don't just need strong guys. A smart thinking woman including..."
He didn't finish his sentence; he noticed that, especially in this room, he had trouble keeping some distance.
Lisa noticed his hesitation and went back to the living room. She liked being with him, but she also felt like they were dancing around each other a bit.
Dancing... tonight...
"Tonight's dance night again huh? Thanks to Margreet, I quite enjoyed it last time, she had spoken to me so encouragingly at the beginning of the evening."
"Yes, and later she danced together with Joke, which was actually a genius idea of hers. Why shouldn't two women dance together?"
"Or two men?"
"Well..." Sjaak hesitated, "in my opinion that would be a clumsy affair, a kind of clog dance. Then I'd rather dance with you tonight."
Now it was his turn for blushing. He had thrown those last words out without thinking.
Lisa smiled, "That's okay, I'd rather dance with you." She tried to make her words sound as light-hearted as possible, but Sjaak had heard the slight tremble.
"Would you like coffee or rather tea?" he asked. "Or some juice, I have that too."
"Rather tea, what types do you have?"
"Come and see, then you can choose right away. I bought some on Annerieke's advice, I'm not much of a tea drinker myself, but if someone comes along who prefers tea, it's nice to have it in the house."
"Yeah," Lisa confirmed and browsed among the boxes. She was surprised herself that, except for some slight tremors, she felt so at ease in his surroundings.
Sjaak had already set the coffee machine to work and the whistling kettle on the stove was starting to make the sound that the water was approaching boiling point. Lisa chose the star mix and hung a bag in the glass he had placed in front of her.
"Nice, such an old-fashioned kettle, I think that looks much cozier than an electric kettle. And this stove, so modern, is this an electric stove or no, I already see, it's induction. Do you like that?"
"Yes indeed, it works quickly, the water boils in no time and the plate is easy to clean. You just have to stay with it because it goes so fast. Although, of course, you can also turn it down or off in case of an emergency."
"You can start advertising it like that!" Lisa teased.
Grinning, they walked to the room with their tea and coffee. Lisa sat down on the couch, Sjaak came to sit next to her, with a little distance between them.
"This way, we can get a good overview," he came up with. "What do you think of it?"
Lisa looked around quietly, "I think it's cozy, I like all that wood you used." She looked at the coffee table. It had whimsical shapes, not rectangular, square, oval or round, but just not describable, so special. She bent down and caressed the wood with her fingertips. "I guess that too is Huibs work?"
Sjaak nodded, "I was in the mood for something special, something I hadn't seen anywhere yet."
"Special it is, certainly. I think it's funny. That also suits you..."
Sjaak interrupted her quasi-seriously, "Am I funny then?"
"No, yes, well, I didn't mean that, I meant more, that the naturalness of this table suits you."
When she looked at him, she only saw the mischievous look in his eyes and grin on his face.
"Oh you, silly!" she exclaimed and gave him a poke with her elbow. "Yep, you're funny though! You're a a crackpot, and I think you have a lot more humor than I expected so far!"
"Well yeah, call me names. Silly, a crackpot... I'll just have to put up with it..."
"Don't pretend to be pathetic, you're not, you just like it on the sly!
"Okay, I confess, you've got me figured out, it's really precious!" With the fingers of his free hand he rummaged over her head, through her hair. Startled, he stopped: what was she supposed to think of him?
Lisa chuckled, "Go on, it feels good!"
"You're a special woman, Lisa. When I saw you during that weeks you were a guest at the guesthouse, I felt so much woundedness in you. I really saw you as a woman who was broken. And now… here you are, surprising me. You are so much more open, you already seem to be much more alive than you were then. Just last week..."
Lisa nodded slowly, "That's how I feel too. I still feel as broken at times as I did last week, but with you, and with the others, I feel myself loosening up, becoming free. I didn't think that would happen so smoothly."
"Neither did I, and I honestly expect there's still a lot of loosening to come, but for now I'm already very grateful to see that you're so comfortable."
Lisa nodded smiling. "Something else: sometimes it's a shame that time goes by so fast, it's so cozy, but it's already time for lunch."
"Tell you what, we'll take the pickup, drive that thing back to the parking lot and have a nice lunch. And some other time we'll just pick up where we left off."
"Good plan," Lisa thought and continued cheerfully, "Then will you remember where we left off?"
"Oh you..." Sjaak grabbed her by her upper arms and looked at her penetratingly: "You..."
Lisa tilted her head as she looked at him grinning. "Yes, what about me?"
"Damn girl, I love you!"
Startled at his own words, he released her, walked with large strides through the kitchen to the utility room, leaving Lisa wide-eyed and open-mouthed in the room.
Lisa had to recover for a moment from the directness of his statement. Only then did she feel the explosion of joy inside her. She ran almost skipping to the pantry, where Sjaak stood with his back to her, putting on his shoes. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his back. "Thank you Sjaak, I love you too!"
He turned around, staring at her: "You? Really?"
"Yes, really. It's only very young, in fact only since yesterday. When you comforted me and I found that I had never felt so safe in my life, then at first it was just that safety. I felt that your heart was racing, but I didn't pay attention to that. I only understood that later. But while I was standing there with you, in a flash a thought suddenly came to me: 'a man like Sjaak'. At that moment I could do nothing with it. But a little later the same flash and words came, but then much more intense, more violent. Do you remember asking what suddenly happened? Well, that's what happened. I was so confused by it. Oh yes, another thing, when I looked at you, I saw the same in your eyes as I saw in Huibs eyes a week ago, when he was dancing with Margreet. So much love, Sjaak, you, love for me? I couldn't believe it, I wasn't worth it. I was so confused that I asked you to go to the kitchen. And then Huib and Margreet came in, I told Margreet, and then that flash and those words overwhelmed me even more, while I was telling her about it. As if your soul and my soul... they seemed like two strong magnets attracting each other. I decided that I didn't want to fall in love with you yet, that I wanted to keep the contact between us light. First I wanted to finalize the divorce, then we would see further. And now, one day later..."
The tears streamed down her cheeks. She did not see that the same thing happened to Sjaak. The wonder and joy were so deep... Sjaak took her in his arms and kissed her hair. "Oh Lisa, you make me so happy! So happy... so incredibly happy, and grateful... you... I only knew for such a short time too, I think a day before you did, but my desire for you, my love for you... they had grown so violently fast just like yours. And just like that, I just blurted out what was in my heart. It shocked me myself, but now, now it's only right."
Sjaak was still holding her by her upper arms, holding her slightly at a distance. They looked at each other, through their tears. Sjaak kissed her on her forehead. "You are special to me, fragile on one hand, which makes me want to protect you. But on the other hand, I suspect that behind that fragility there is also a softness and a strong woman. You are so beautiful, just the way you are. It's as if I see how you really are, without emotional wounds. I wouldn't be surprised if in your softness you are also very fiery."
"Wow, that's something..." Lisa was silent about it.
When Sjaak let go of her, she put on her shoes and wrapped her coat loosely around herself. Silently they walked to the pickup, both overwhelmed by their feelings.
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